I'm not an ex-mormon, so maybe this doesn't belong here....but I could really use some advice from some people who have been missionaries.

I've felt kind of alone in my church for a while now and, a few months ago, went searching for some answers. I stumbled upon mormon.org and was really fascinated by mormonism- I loved the focus on family values, morality, etc. that were parts of my own church that I loved. I decided to chat with some missionaries online- I asked a few questions and thought that would be it, but they asked to call me. I decided that it wouldn't be such a bad thing to learn more, so I agreed.

After a while, they pushed me to contact missionaries in my area to have discussions with. Again, I liked what I was learning, so I agreed. Before long, they got me in contact with a girl who goes to my college to take me to services. I haven't been yet, but all four missionaries are pushing me to go with her.

Anyways, long story short, after finding this site and reading what you all have to say (with sources I have determined to be credible), I started feeling uneasy about everything. After I came across a transcript of an endowment ceremony, I knew that I was done. None of it makes sense and so many aspects of the religion conflict with the bible- I just refused to see it because I wanted so badly to believe it was true.

So my question is, how do I successfully sever ties with the missionaries? They are so very nice, and extremely persistent. I just don't want to cut them off rudely because I know being a missionary must suck (especially in the part of the US I live in where mormons are an extreme minority). On the other hand, I don't have the time to take lessons from them when I know beyond a doubt that it's all a bizarre lie. How do I *nicely* get them to leave me alone? Thanks :)

If you have nice ones a firm "no" will suffice. But you'll need to be firm. However, if you have overly zealous ones, you may have to get "rude."

They'll push a lot of prayers and feelings and that you're bad feelings are from Satan, so the more you stay away from "why" you don't want contact, the less likely you'll have to be "rude."

But you'll need to set some strong boundaries.

Good luck.

We have mormon "investigators" stop in here often. They always ask for help in how to sever ties with very nice but persistent missionaries who have befriended them.

Answer: The sooner you do it the easier it will be, but it's never a cinch because yes, they are VERY persistent characters. Also, they're not quite as "nice" as they seem. Their friendliness and interest in you are called "lovebombing." It's the method used by cults to hook new members.

These guys mean well but their goal is to nab you as a convert, not to actually be your friends.

So you MUST be as persistent as they are. Tell them firmly that you appreciate their efforts, but you've deffinitely decided you won't join their church and you don't want them to visit you anymore.

Be a broken record and tell them this as often as necessary until they back off.

"I've decided I'm not interested in joining your church. Please don't call on me again. Thanks, goodbye." Then hang up the phone or close the door.

Do not explain why you're not interested. It just prolongs the process and makes it more painful for you and for them. If you say it's because of the temple rituals, they'll tell you that such feelings are normal and that you just need time and support to be more ready to go to the temple. Ordinarily, they don't let anyone into the temple for at least a year or until the new convert is fully indoctrinated. This is called "milk before meat," their plan for withholding the more cultish doctrines and practices from newcomers who aren't ready to accept them.

Be firm.
Be repetitive.
Don't answer their questions,
Don't ask any.
Be firm.
Be repetitive.
Don't answer their questions,
Don't ask any.
Be firm.
Be repetitive.
Don't answer their questions,
Don't ask any.
Be firm.
Be repetitive.
Don't answer their questions,
Don't ask any.

Sorry to say, it could take that many times. Good luck, and let us know if you need back-up. (Cheryl's good with a garden hose)

Once you have said that you are no longer interested and don't want to meet with them any more, don't answer their calls.Get caller ID. If they text or email, don't answer. If they come by, answer the door and briefly say that you are not interested.Then close the door. Don't let them in. Any hesitation will be seen as an opening.

I was a misisonary 1990-92, Ohio
I had several prospects who seemed very interested, then all of a sudden, invariably after something a friend, relative, or minister had told them, the lights went out.
We called it getting "anti-ed", that is, they fell for various circulating anti-Mormon lies.
I didn't learn until years later that, largely, those lies are true.
Very few prospects join the church. They're used to disappointment.

If you find that being nice doesn't work you can always follow this lady's example. Warning cussin'. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kv2xDFQnlVw

I agree with Cheryl, you DO belong here. :-)

Be firm but persistent with the missionaries. Consider it good training for life. There are any number of people out there who will want to sell you something that you don't need, and it will be your job to say, "No." Maybe repeatedly! Look the missionaires in the eye, deepen your voice, and say, "I've carefully considered this, and the LDS church is not for me." Say it slowly and firmly, and keep holding their eyes. Say it over and over, if you need to. Be a broken record. If they want to know why, just tell them that there's no need to go into details. It's not for you. Period.

Keep in mind that even if you had consented to join the church, after baptism the missionaries would have handed you off to the local ward, and would have disappeared almost immediately. So don't be afraid of offending them or hurting their feelings. As Amos said, they're used to it.

When I was a missionary (Pennsylvania, 88-90) investigators would tell us 'no thanks' all the time. Most times we would ask why and 'resolve concerns' (answer questions) if possible but if/when the person was firm in saying no more we left them alone.

But some missionaries are really into meeting certain goals and will be jerks if given the chance.

Think salesmen.

I would suggest against letting them come teach or going to Church w/ them if you don't want them to pressure you towards baptism. If you leave any wiggle room they will see it as an opening and a possibility that you somehow may be believing...as it were.

Good luck.

That will probably be the reason to be firm. Say NO once, then do not respond to any contact from them: do not answer the phone, or a text, or email, nothing.
They will get the point, that no means no.

You might even want to tell them that you have been told that they don't have a very good reputation of respecting the word: NO!

Tell them clearly:
I do not want to go further. I won't be accepting any more contact. Thank you for your time.

What the f is wrong with you OP? The missionaries care about you only in as much as a baptism will earn them a pat on their backs from the Mission Pres.

I can understand why people feel compelled to be/remain Mormons if they have several generations of mormon heritage but why anyone would convert when 5 mins on the internet would dispel any notion that any of it is true.

Going through with it because the mishies are nice is beyond asinine. Sorry but get a grip of yourself.

These are great answers. Don't even bother explaining your position. Just say you're no longer interested and do not want to be contacted further. Thanks but no thanks.

Maybe I should have told them that 3 yrs. ago.

I've recently gone through a similar experience. I've posted three threads of detailed experience I had before I severed ties with the missionaries. There's not only my story but a LOT of great advice given to me by the amazing people on this board. If you're interested here are the links:

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,51251

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,52155

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,53046,53172

Good luck!

Avoid contact if you can. If you can't, tell them the facts you have learned, as politely as possible, but firmly. If they feel you will infect the active members with these facts ("Anti-Mormonism") ...you will soon be a pariah like many of us here. (As mentioned by Amos, you will be "Anti-ed.")

EX-missionary ex-mormon

You don't owe them any explanation at all unless you want to give one.If you do give specifics, they will probably want to set you up with someone higher in authority who can answer your concerns. Unless you really want to debate history and theology, I would keep my explanation simple, if you give one at all and just make it clear that you are no longer interested.End of subject. Then cut off contact. They will probably call or text you. Don't answer. If they come by, keep it brief and don't let them in. A simple, "I'm not interested, thank you" should do it. Repeat as necessary. Start by being polite. If they can't take no for an answer, then handle it any way you like. You don't have to be polite to people who are harassing you. Hopefully it won't come to that.

I have never done this, but I'm told it works: if being accosted by obnoxious missionaries open the door and say "F... OFF" usually gets rid of them FAST!

The other is my Door Sign to keep the Missionaries away.
If anyone wants it, let me know. I'll find it in my files and post it.

Alternatively, just say:

"I've politely listened to you guys for several hours now. So now I'd be grateful if I could talk to you about Xenu."

My niece's husband told them that he was an alcoholic Buddhist. That worked.

I appreciate all of the advice. I'm also very glad I decided to post out here because I was planning to sit down with them and try to bring up what I found wrong with the church and see if it chased them off. I see now I shouldn't do that.

The good news is I never gave the missionaries my address and insisted on meeting at my college campus. I see now that it was a very smart idea- I'll just avoid our usual meeting spot as soon as I send them email informing them I am no longer interested :P

Just remember that they really are salesmen. They're after number of baptisms. If a car salesman was trying to sell you a car you really wouldn't be happy with, you know they'd get pushy and try to sweeten the deal. But if you didn't want it, you wouldn't buy it. It's really no difference.

They're selling their version of eternity and it will only cost you 10% of your gross income for an exclusive membership in their club.

Unfortunately, it's one of those snobbish clubs where certain members of society are looked down upon and/or not wanted. They don't tell you that part.

You provided protection by meeting with them away from where you live. Moreso, you're sidestepping a very vicious cult which can sometimes ruin lives.

Very well done!!! : )

I was a missionary too and trust me its OKAY to tell them you are no longer interested. They go through thousands of rejections on their missions. Of course they will be a little bummed if you don't want to further your path into Mormonism, but trust me they'll forget about you in no time. Most of them are just on their missions out of obligations from their family and church. Its a rite of passage for young Mormons to do this. They are just traveling salesman for a religious corporation. Numbers are everything for these guys and that is why they can be so gung ho about converting you (and teaching someone sure beats spending time going door to door).

Just be confident in what YOU believe and tell them the religion sounds a little fishy and you KNOW its not "true." If they ask you if you've prayed about it, tell them you have and God told you not to join. If they ask you if you have prayed about the Book of Mormon and Joseph Smith, tell them you have and God told you they are frauds and work of men. If they try to stick you with the "but you had GOOD feelings about the church BEFORE and those feelings are the holy ghost telling you its true" just say feelings are not an indicator of truth. You can have good feelings about all sorts of things, but that doesn't mean those ARE necessarily good or true. Just like feeling good about buying a nice new car when but then the engine blows up while you're driving it home because it was actually a lemon. Feelings don't prove ANYTHING.

You can keep it short and simple or expound upon what you learned and why don't think Mormonism is true, just to give them a little education. I personally think Mormons need to hear the truth and that their religion is not all its cracked up to be. But that's up to you.

It sounds like you are a college student. On my mission, and at the college I now attend, the missionaries there are zone leaders because apparently they will not succumb to the worldly temptations of a college campus. This also means that there is a good chance they are overly zealous, which means they will be more difficult to get rid of. You are going to have to be firm! I'd just tell them that it's not for you, you're perfectly happy with your old church. I would also be conveniently busy and not commit, or don't show up to any appointments. They will forget about you in time. There is some good advice on this board, just take the approach your most comfortable with.

Don't be surprised if they track you down and find you at home.

Cultists can be quite persistent. If that happens, threaten them with the police.

It isn't possible they would come to my home, would they?!? My family is the only in my town with our last name- and I think we're in the phone book >.<

It's really creepy to even think that MIGHT happen....

Depends on how aggressive they are and how desperate to impress their mission leaders.

If this happens, tell them you're not interested and they need to leave. Tell your family to say the same thing.

If they do come, answer the door, repeat that you are not interested and that you want no further contact. Then firmly shut the door. That should do it. If it doesn't, you can always threaten them with the police. They could be annoying, but they aren't going to hurt you and they will get the hint if you are firm. I wouldn't worry that much.

Just say no.

I had a chat with online missionaries a couple of weeks ago. After a little while, they wanted to call me on the phone. I live in Brazil, but that didn't seem to stop them. When I said "no, thank you" they wanted my address so they could send me a BOM, and finally they wanted any personal info they could get, so the local mishies could "contact me". I already knew that if I gave them any info at all, they would harass me relentlessly. When they saw I wasn't going to let them contact me, they just ended the conversation very quickly. It's all about numbers... and I was wasting their precious bandwidth.

I think I'll have some fun with them again, today :-)