What is it with the heavy, authoritative tone of voice ward clerks affect when they are calling because the bishop wants to see you?

After I had been inactive for an entire year, I awoke one Sunday morning to a telephone message which had been sent at 7:30 (!) a.m.: <authoritative tone:> “Good Morning, Sister WWN, this is Brother WardClerk. Bishop YouGottaBeKidding wants to see you in his office at 8:30 this morning.”

As I listened to the message, I laughed and shook my head at the very audacity of it! I had heard nothing at all from the bishop during that entire first year of inactivity--which was fine with me!--but which did make startlingly incongruous this sudden demand for me to show up at his office with merely one hour’s notice.

Is it common for ward clerks to speak in this dire tone when setting up appointments for the bishop, in hopes of intimidating members into showing up as demanded?

(Just to be clear: This occurred some years ago.)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/26/2010 03:19PM by WiserWomanNow.

Yeah, I've experienced the same thing.

Seems to me that if people want to align to a religion, they should at least belong to one that respects people...all people. Not just the compliant.

Hmmm...perhaps you're right. Let's replace "respect" the compliant with "reward." Like a dog getting a scooby snack.

At one end, there's the intimidation factor that they are relying on for the person to show up.

At the other end, there's the arrogance of them actually believing they are that important (and busy) to merit people jumping to their demands.

It's somewhere in between.

The whole hierarchy thing annoys me. Having to call him Bishop when he calls me "Brother" or by my first name. Having a secretary call me to set up an appointment because the bishop is too important and/or busy to do it himself. Having to meet in his office, behind a desk in the power interview scenario.

A couple months ago, the executive secretary dropped in unannounced to arrange an appointment with el obispo. I told him that if "the bishop" wants to talk with me, he can call me like normal people. And we can meet at someplace like Starbucks like normal people.

Of course, no call, so it never happened. So much about being a good mormon is conceding to their (power) demands.

Seeing the look on the bishop or EQ's (et al) face after they hear "no" is priceless. They're not used to it.

When I first left the Morg, I had moved into a new ward. Somehow they got my info and knew that I was there. For several months I kept getting repeated phonecalls from the ward clerk saying the bishop wanted to meet with me. I would ask what he wanted to talk about, and the clerk would say "I don't know, you'll just have to meet with him." I responded I would be happy to meet with him if I could get a heads up about what we were going to talk about, and if the bish would come to my apartment. Apparently the bishop wasn't THAT interested in meeting me, because he never bothered to come see me at my place. I always got a good chuckle out of that, because it was so obvious that the bish wanted to intimidate me by "bringing me in" and dictating the terms, but I didn't let him. If he was truly, genuinely concerned about the welfare of my soul, he would have stopped by, even just to say hello, at my place. But if he couldn't bully me into recognizing his authority, he wasn't interested in saving me.

I haven't been to church in over 16 years--about 6 years ago, after we moved to our new home, I got the same call.

The call caught me at home, which is rare; I merely said 'no thank you'.

There was a pause of silence and in my opinion, complete disbelief at my response. He started to protest, I just hung up.

Haven't heard from them since.

Have they considered calling at a decent hour and asking you when and if it would be convenient for them to visit you? After all, they are the ones who want the meeting and it isn't as if you work for them. It sounds like the school secretary saying, "MS Bona Dea, Principal Fathead would like to see you." It is intimidating and you start thinking of every possible reason he might want to yell at you. LOL



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/26/2010 05:55PM by bona dea.

I agree--this is how most of the ex. sec. act--and bishops--but not my ex. He is so friendly and all the people absolutely loved him and welcomed his calls.

Wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which fills up first.

When I walked out the door for the last time they never bothered calling. Maybe they just knew...

From time to time however, lost missionaries seem to find their way to my door. I usually just take pity on them and I did give the last pair of Sisters bottles of ice water on a hot Texas afternoon.

Fools think that their phoney authourity will intimidate you back into the fold with fear and guilt. I looked the Bishop in the eye and told him I had no respect for his fraudulent Priesthood and position, since it was based on a group on con-games.

I hated dealing with the "executive secretary." Honestly - executive? Bishop just isn't that important that he can't leave his own message. Also, it's so that you can't say "What's this all about?" because the executive secretary doesn't know. He's just setting an appointment. That way the bishop can have you in his office when he broadsides you with a masturbation question or whatever it is, instead of on the phone.

About six months after I left the Church, the stake president called me and demanded that I "appear" in his office relative to my "abandoning" my stake calling, which I had tidied up for the next guy and had given two weeks notice that I was leaving. I gave that guy such a blast I was standing on tiptoes yelling into the phone. That's probably another reason why they have an executive secretary.

That happened to my wife and I. I told the Ward Clerk that the Bishop could a) call us himself and b) give us an idea of what the meeting is about because we are very busy. He actually said: BUT ITS THE BISHOP. I said, Oh so the Bishop is immune from having to treat people with respect and dignity? Hmmm.
I then hung up. I heard from neither of them about the incident.

I later found out the Bisop was handing out callings and that they had wanted my wife to be a den mother in cub scouts. (A friend was serving as a clerk at the time, heard about it and shared that info with me later) GRRRRRR!!!

So why all the crap from the Ward Clerk? Why not just call and say the Bishop wants to talk to your wife about a new calling?
Why make a married couple with young kids get a baby sitter and drive an hour to church for this nonsense meeting? Why did I have to be there when this was my wife's calling? That would have at least saved us from getting a baby sitter. THEY DO NOT CARE. PERIOD.

I really hate it when they ORDER you to "SEE THE BISHOP." Its really rude and disrespectful to not even take your schedule into consideration. We don't just sit by the phone waiting for their calls, you know? You also never get any advance warning, either. Just hop in your car and drive x miles to church. Or expect the usual same day drop by the house while you are eating dinner. (I had this happen as we were leaving to go shopping once. The bishop was upset that we didn't immediately change our plans because HE was there. Extremely arrogant. I told him that we had plans and next time call ahead before just dropping by, otherwise he might be wasting his time)

I am so glad this stupid timewasting stuff is not a part of my life anymore. The garbage the church makes you go through...YOU are the one giving up your time and resources doing a calling, yet YOU are the one that has to go to THEM, show gratitude, etc. UNREAL. JUST UNREAL.

DH took the call. We had moved to a different city a few months after we left, so had never been inside this ward.

The bishop and his elves wanted to talk to my DH about our sons and the priesthood and wanted to meet at 5. DH said fine. So about 5:20 or so and no one had showed up at our house, we got a call--from the ward, wanted to know where we were. Since they had "invited us," and hadn't specified where, DH assumed the wanted to come to our house. When he learned they expect us to show up at the Bishop's office DH told them to forget it.

A few year earlier, when we moved to Santa Barbara, the bishopric of our new ward came to call and made it a nice social visit to get to know us--and to scope us out to see what callings we'd be good at. I guess we expected something similar in our new ward.

Ward clerk called me a few years ago informing me that the bishop needed to see me immediately. I told him "Tell Herbie that if he want's to see me he knows where I live." Herbie never got back to me.

The ward clerk was horrified that I referred to the bish by his high school nick name instead of calling him Bishop. I wonder if he told the bishop about my utter lack of respect. I hope so.

Assholes!

first answer "I'll have to see if that time is open.
(it never is)
I then give two options that are at my convenience.
Second answer "What is the subject of the meeting?"
"He'll tell you when you get here"
My response " I don't go with my head in a sack. When he decides what he wants to meet about have him call me personally and I will decide if I want to meet.

It puts the brakes on every time.

They put on the priesthood GA drone of authority and make calls. (Well, not all, of course!).
It's like a command from the almighty !

They don't know how silly they sound! Especially when you know them and their regular-home voice!

They also don't seem to know when it's OK to make calls.
Maybe if someone started answering them at 7:30 a.m. or 10:30 at night when they are making them, they might get a clue. But, maybe not! :-)

Been there.
It was such a clear cut case of just being a soldier following orders. As counselor to the Biz-hop I often had to call someone to come see him, or to release them from a calling or one time to reease the entire music department because they could not get along. One was very upset- I merely said "I'm just following orders". It was true, but it surprised me to hear myself say it.

That is the way it is- the Boss tells you to call somebody and you do it with the voice of authority that he expects you to project.

It can suck sometimes and yet, some people do get caught up in the power trip. A power that is granted them with the weight of the Lord behind them...heady stuff. Ya really gotta keep perspective and keep your self in check.

For some reason JoD, I thought of the Tom Hagen character from the Godfather. In a small way, all organizations (mafia included) use messengers to summon the peons before the throne.

The bishop called this morning...not the ward clerk...the actual bishop. I was shocked.

He told me that I needed to come see him, as I had not yet appeared on his appointment list for tithing settlement. I thanked him for calling, but told him that in fact it was NOT necessary for me to see him. In a shocked tone of voice, he asked why it was not necessary for me to come in. I told him that come the day that I needed a new temple recommend that I would declare my tithing at that time as part of the interview, and that an additional annual duplicate meeting was not necessary.

The bishop tried to tell me that it was important for me to attend this annual "interview", and then asked how long it had been since I hade been to a tithing settlement. I told him that it was in the neighborhood of 20 years, and that most bishops did not even bother to call me. He told me that he would put me down for part payer, and would catch me later.

For the most part, a very pleasant non-confrontational chit chat.

How's that for a boundary!

I quit you stupid cult and you do not represent God for cryin out loud it's a fantasy world you live in.

We lived in Pleasant Grove at the time. We had become inactive as we had some serious doubts about the church. Actually I already knew it was a total lie but it took my hubby a little longer to let go. Anyway we got a call from the ward clerk saying the bishop wanted to meet with us. Well I wasn't about to return the call, but my husband kept saying, "We should really call him back" I said "Why, we don't owe him anything?" hubby: "But we really should call him back, it's the bishop" me: "That means nothing to me. I'll call him back and tell him we aren't interested in meeting with the bishop" hubby: "We can't say that!" me: "Why not? It's the truth." hubby: "Because he's the bishop." me: "He has no power over us" Finally I gave in and we met with the bishop. He wanted us to start paying tithing. We just went along with it since we were moving out of state and it wasn't worth the fight.

It's weird not only that they think they have some kind of importance but that so many members are conditioned to think they have to do whatever the bishope wants. Getting out = FREEDOM!

But I stopped. Now that there is a new Bishop, one that I know quite well, I would just laugh. He was one of those guys who skipped class all the time by hanging out in the Clerks office with two or three other guys. It was often my duty to go round them up and invite them to their SS and PH classes.

Although I must give him credit- he has never attempted to contact me (outside ward info emails) and he conducted a very distinguished and non-missionary Funeral that we attended.

"I don't."

End of story.

And this Bishop has many degrees in religion? Ha! How can a retail merchant or someone similar be a Bishop? How can he know what's going on? What a bunch of nonsense...I laughed when my ex told me the hierarchy...i reminded him a Dr. of Divinity married us...college degree plus in theology...what does Bishop do for a living...????

He agreed...and I did not have to see the Bishop ever...anywhere...he would not have wanted to see me..even as a young kid...I was extremely willfull and very stubborn...my ex knew better than to bring that about...figured a camping trip would be more fun...

stormy

Yes Biz-hop I have all my receipts right here for the tithing/contributions I paid in 2010.


Oops- wrong church!...sorry-LOL...

I've had the secretary of the stake pres. call me multiple times to set up an appointment. They would always tell me a time and date (within 24 hours), I would respond, sorry I am busy at that time. Never would the offer up an appointment for the next week. This happened 3 times, then the calls stopped.

I thought I was free and clear when I got a call at 5pm when night saying the Stake President wanted to come visit me at my home at 7pm that very night. Again I was busy. They've never made an effort since.

It's so bizarre. I work an irregular schedule and I have a family, why do these people think they can make appts. with me at such short notice? All other apts in my life are made at least 2 weeks in advance. I am only spontaneous with people I like.

I truly was busy during all of those times, but that being said even if they had given me 2 weeks notice, I still wouldn't have gone.

All I gotta say 'bout this one is "THANK GOD FOR CALLER ID!!!

When I was still TBM, I had just come home from the hospital after having my first child. This guy called wanting me to come see the bishop. Hubby tells them that I just came home from the hospital. I figured they would get a clue and give me at least a week. Nope! The guy called back the very next day and then the next. Finally I went in on the 3rd day. The bishop was surprised to see that I had had my baby. The stupid secretary didn't even bother to pass the info along.

The crazy thing was, they wanted me to take over a calling for a lady who had just had a baby, so she could have a break. WTF?

I can't believe I ever put up with crap like that.

Fortunately, I was away and it was just a message on the answering machine. The guy identified himself as a member of the Stake Presidency who wanted to stop by and talk--preferably that evening. Left his phone number to call him back.

I haven't been to church (except for a niece's baptism or a nephew's missionary farewell) in over 15 years. Still can't figure out what triggers the random calls.

One of the little joys I had as a trying-to-be-a-TBM teenager was calling my bishop by his first name whenever we weren't in church. He was very young (25ish), and part of my "second family," so he had always just been Mike. On Sundays or at Mutual activities, I called him Bishop. But when I ran into him at the grocery store, or when he came in to the Blockbuster where I worked, I always called him Mike.

The shocked look on one of his counselor's faces when I saw them at a HS football game and said, "Hey, Brother So-and-so! Hi, Mike!" was priceless.

Back in September My wife answered the phone. The clerk was asking for my daughter Rachel. My wife handed the phone to me. It was the ward clerk with his authoritative voice saying, " The bishop would like to conduct a personal worthiness interview with your 17 year old daughter.

I replied in my own authoritative voice, "Ok you guys really need to leave us the fuck alone."

And he said, "Sorry for bothering you Mr. Angell"

That happened to me more than once. I rewarded them by not showing up! Ha ha!