This is an except from a long suicide note -- a history, really --of a man named Bill Zeller. He suffered the effects of repeated child molestation. In a better world, his family and their religion would have been of help and comfort. But his parents are fundamentalist Christians. He wrote:

>They live in a black and white reality they've constructed for themselves. They partition the world into good and evil and survive by hating everything they fear or misunderstand and calling it love. They don't understand that good and decent people exist all around us, "saved" or not, and that evil and cruel people occupy a large percentage of their church. They take advantage of people looking for hope by teaching them to practice the same hatred they practice.

[...]

>Their church was always more important than the members of their family and they happily sacrificed whatever necessary in order to satisfy their contrived beliefs about who they should be.

>I grew up in a house where love was proxied through a God I could never believe in. A house where the love of music with any sort of a beat was literally beaten out of me. A house full of hatred and intolerance, run by two people who were experts at appearing kind and warm when others were around.

Sounds a little familiar, no?

The complete note is available here:
http://gizmodo.com/5726667/the-agonizing-last-words-of-bill-zeller

…or anyone who desires a greater comprehension of the topic, read the book “Victims No Longer: The Classic Guide for Men Recovering from Sexual Child Abuse” by Mike Lew.

Link to Amazon reviews:
http://www.amazon.com/Victims-No-Longer-Classic-Recovering/dp/006053026X

From the book, p. 168:
"When someone who is being (or has been) abused asks, ‘What should I do?" the best answer is ‘TELL SOMEBODY.’ Survivors and therapists who work with them insist that this is the essential first step toward recovery:

“‘Find somebody,’ ‘Tell your story,’ ‘Break the silence.’”

Sadly, Bill Ziller kept his child molestation a secret. No one knew until after he died. At the same time, his suicide note is bound to awaken others in time to seek and find resolution.

You were a good man, Bill. It's our loss. R.I.P.