A post by ah made me want to see who ever dared to wear pants to church, what reactions you caused, and also what you always thought of women who wore pants to church.

When I was seven, I saw a woman in church wearing a very beautiful one-piece pantsuit, with wide leg jersey knit pants and an ornate beaded top. It was certainly more beautiful than the denim skirts/polo shirts that the other women were wearing. I pointed out the woman to my mother, who rolled her eyes and mentioned that this sister was so "trendy."

As a young adult I went for about six months wearing my nice pants every week, and the people in my ward always scoffed and called me their little rebel. I would point out that if I was to wear my Sunday best, then my expensive Express pants were better than my $12 Ross dress that didn't fit correctly. My mom kept saying it wasn't about wearing fancy clothes, but humble dresses. I didn't think it should matter.

What about you?

Some of the younger girls wear leggings under their skirts, which is a great idea for keeping the legs warm. They're more comfortable than pantie hose, and much more modest than the very short skirts that are in style these days.

Now they make "jean leggings," and some girls wear regular skinny jeans under a skirt. I can see the Mormon cult banning leggings in the near future.

I didn't want to change clothes every time I practiced the organ in the chapel, so I had an old ankle-length skirt I'd throw on over whatever pants or shorts I was wearing. No one was there to see me, anyway.

the more I think abt things like this...
the MORE I THINK they're JUST DIVERSIONS AWAY FROM the same basics that other churches teach...Without the weird stuff.


Keep 'em Distracted, put them in Dreadfully BORING meetings, ASSign them where/when to attend, etc.


that's the way Mos 'appeal' to the faithful!

I've so wished to do that. I hate skirts and dresses! They are too open! *shudder*

I really hated wearing skirts and dresses at church. I felt so controlled and oppressed.

I was nursery leader for years and skirts were really impractical - they got in the way when I was playing with the children because in nursery you are forever kneeling down and getting up again. Also, I wore flat lace ups (I obviously didn't want to step on a child in high heels) and so I ended up looking like a frumpy sister missionary.

Most of all I hated wearing skirts because it symbolised my status as a sheep who could be herded about at will by the shepherds - the priesthood in their suits who had all the power. Yuck.

Don't get me started on this one! Petty though it may seem it was one of the biggest bugbears of mine since a couple of weeks after my baptism when I was taken aside & "asked" not to wear pants to church. I never wear skirts/dresses & could not understand why smart pants with a blouse & jacket were not acceptable.
Well for the first 13 years or so I "complied", hating every minute of it, & instead of focusing on what I should have been focusing on at church, it was "I wish I didn't have to wear this damn thing can't wait to get home & change".
Then for the last 20 years I ignored it & wore what I wanted - pants every week, & woe betide anybody who said anything, my reply would be when the church starts paying a uniform grant, then they can dictate what I wear!

I know I sure do.





:)

I'm a nevermo, so I don't think I really count, but can't wait to hear what the once-TBMs thought about those wretched pants. :) I always thought it was a stupid rule and clearly demonstrated the subservient role of women in the church. It made me think of those ladies whose religion dictates they aren't allowed to cut their hair and they can only wear dresses. My husband refused to wear a tie and at some events the guys would show up in business casual attire. Meanwhile I have to wear a skirt and pantyhose? Of course with the toddler, I didn't like to wear skirts and dresses. Eventually I just started wearing whatever I wanted, as long as it was nice. I would get some looks from people sometimes, nothing mean or anything and no one said anything. It was a little humorous. It would probably be different if I was in attendance regularly, but I was just a visitor. Occasionally the hubs would say something about it, I'd tell him it's church, not a fashion show, and I didn't exactly see him wearing a suit and tie. :) If I were to go to church today, I'd probably wear flip-flops.

... why we have to get all dressed up for church and he says we have to do it out of respect for other people, so I says I thought we go to church to worship god, not respect other people, so he slaps me upside the head and tells me to shut-up.

Funny thing. Every depiction of God or JuHEEsus I've ever seen has 'em wearing an ankle-length dress which tends to suggest that Mrs. God and Mrs. JuHEEsus actually wear the pants in the family.

Timothy

I just love your post Timothy, because it seems you were such a rebel from forever. I was such a sheeple in every way as a child. I never dared even speak when adults were in the room, as I was told to just sit in a chair and be quiet, I was only a child.
I love it when I hear stories of people who forever questioned everything... you probably have carried the black sheep label for quite some time. Wish I had been more like that.
On the skirt thing, I actually like dresses, for special occasions, but having to wear it every Sunday, or for every church function...OMG... I hated it so much.
I never could understand what was the point. When I left the church and frequented other places, it was shock to me to see people wearing whatever they wanted to.
I have only seen ladies wear pants a few times at church and all of those times people stared at them. I thought it ridiculous. Worse was the pantyhose.
Here is a deal: I will wear a skirt if the men will wear pantyhose under those suits. I don't think that will go very well.

The last year I went to church, I wore the baggiest, grubbiest pants I owned. My parents were barely able to get me in the car every Sunday so they had no energy left to dictate what I wore. No one in church said anything about it, but by then I had made it very clear to most members that I wanted nothing to do with any of them. It's amusing now to think about, I was such an evil teenager!

These days just try finding a dress that hasn't got a bodice cut to belly button level with spaghetti strap sleeves. And that's for the under 12 set!

The '70's were awash with those ghastly Laura Ashley print skirts and Little House on the Prarie style dresses.

Personally, I thought the short sleeved with shirts with black ties the guys had to wear far worse. They all look like armies of Andy Sipowiczs (from NYPD Blue), except even he got to wear different colors every now and again. That hasn't changed for at least 100 years!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/11/2011 08:38AM by nwmcare.

I did. I got some seriously angry stares from people.

I wear slacks. No one has ever said a word to me. If they look in my direction, I dare them with a bold stare, to say anything. I only attend if one of the family (who is still in) speaks, etc. And I make sure I wear open-toed sandals, if it is not winter.

I have noted this previously, but when my DW's sister and her husband went to a European city as MP, they were shocked to see women attending church in slacks. Very quickly they realized how glad they were any one even came to church.

When I was a member, I didn't. But now that I'm an ex, if I find myself having to go into an LDS chapel (for funerals, primarily) I will wear trousers.

I hate dresses, skirts, pantyhose. All of it. Also, my line of work can be a bit dirty, so I would never dress up for work cuz I never know when I might be slogging through some filthy basement in some 100 y.o. building. I don't even do dry clean only because it's a hassle. IOW, I don't even own any dresses and I am not about to go out and buy one that I will only wear for funerals. It's just a waste.

But, to date, I haven't had anyone say anything to me at the various funerals I have attended. Not even my extremely TBM uncles/aunts/cousins. Hopefully, they just know better (now) than to bug me. About anything. :)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/11/2011 10:13AM by elee.

I wear jeans if I go now. And a very low cut shirt that shows off my ample bosoms, maybe even a loose tank top so everyone can see my bra straps. SCANDALOUS!

That's only if I go and I rarely do. I always thought the dress code for women was sexist. Nice slacks and a blouse not permissible when they look just as nice as a dress? It HAS to be a dress/skirt? Ya, ok.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/11/2011 10:24AM by vhainya.

I was going to say what elee said--I wear pants to funerals now.

One BIG REASON is NYLONS. I didn't mind dresses. I minded nylons. AND talk about a budget drain.

I used to have an office job that required me to dress up. The culture of the business at the time (the 80's) was that the majority of the women wore skirts or dresses. Many mornings I would put on my pantyhose and they would run as I was putting them on. I think I was paying about $3 for them at the time, so it felt like I was ripping up three dollar bills. About half the time, the pantyhose would only last one day. The rest of the time, I would desperately try to save them by dabbing clear nail polish on a beginning run. Then you would have the nail polish dry to your leg. Fun!

Don't get me started on the dry cleaning bills for my work clothes.

When I went into teaching, I knew that a major change was in order. I wear pants to work most of the time now. Any pants, shirts, or skirts that I wear to work *must* be washable. And inexpensive! One day, it was like a lightbulb went off in my head. I noticed that my fellow teachers, when wearing skirts or dresses to school in the warm weather, almost never wore nylons. So I stopped wearing them as well. Blessed coolness!

When I was (really) on my way out I thought "I am not wearing a dress. Why is there this stupid dress code? Most of the dresses/outfits women are wearing are not pretty compared to other clothes."

So I wore the most beautiful thing I owned. It is a floral, cream and yellow sateen coat from the Banana Republic.
Here's a link:

http://imgs.sfgate.com/c/pictures/2004/02/01/pk_banana-yellow_ho.jpg

I paired it with dressy dark denim jeans, a knit yellow sweater, and heels. I tell you this - I was RADIANT! That coat is a stunner and far more beautiful than a some ankle length jean skirt and button up top combo.

I got some looks. It's hard to know if they were looking in a disapproval or shock or what. One older sister in RS told me "You look lovely today". I am not sure how she meant it - if she was sincere or if she just felt forced to say something.

That's my pants story. And I still have the coat - I only wear it on special occasions though.

My last day in church I am SO doing that(Too chicken to do it now...maybe I'll gain some courage...maybe...).

She just wore the 1980's "bib dress" that is still all the fashion for the polygamist groups, except hers had barf stains from getting drunk in it and throwing up all over herself.

People didn't quite know what to say after that.

I've always worn pants/slacks. Only a member 2 years. One person asked, I said this is all I have ( true at the time ). Pretty much left alone, though some Sisters give me old clothes hoping something will fint , It never does, I am way beyond one size fits all....

I'm a nevermo but attended a church a few years ago where most members got very dressed up. I worked in the nursery with the infants once a month and the rules were that women must wear dresses or skirts. I thought that was the STUPIDEST rule, esp if you're have the toddlers or crawlers and you're on the floor playing with them.

Personally, I believe that if you're a guest in God's house you shouldn't dress like you're going to clean out the garage later. I think you should dress in your best clothes and if your best is a flannel shirt and jeans, that's perfectly fine.

But not to the block meetings on Sunday.
We wore them to: choir practice, to cook, to activities, outdoor events at the church, but not on Sunday or regular meetings, like RS or YW, for instance on weekdays.
I didn't have a problem with that.

At one time, women wore gloves and hats to church also. I did when I was younger. They still do in many churches today.
I like seeing the outfits! They are great!

It's all about obedience and control.
The only difference with a skirt is that people can look up it.
Maybe that's the real reason.

Not LDS, but still applies

Back in college, I went home for Easter weekend. I had my good slacks with me to wear to church. And boy my mother laid into me when we got home. I'd shamed her, I'd embarrassed her, etc. etc. And I just stared at her saying "What? What are you talking about?" Finally she brought herself to say "You wore pants to church." "Um, what?" I honestly thought this was supposed to be code or something.

I'd honestly thought she'd be more upset that I was kind of dating the preacher--unmarried!--the summer before and he dared to give me a kiss on the cheek in front of God and everyone.

One memory that will always stay with me is of a dance I was at at our Stakehouse as a teenager.
A member from another ward brought along a nonmember friend who was refused entry because she was wearing pants. I will never forget her frantically trying to "repair the damage" by asking all the women there if anybody had a spare skirt she could borrow for her friend.
I was a relatively new member at the time & was horrified that such a thing could happen in a church of all places. And thinking about it now I bet the poor young woman who brought her along got the blame for not telling her friend how to dress.
Says it all doesn't it? The letter of the law is much more important in TSCC than showing love & compassion.

Obedience and control, yep. I complied with wearing skirts to SM & the Sunday block. What got me rebelling was an "edict" that members attending choir practice (in the chapel) had to wear Sunday attire. Never mind that we had already been home for hours, changed clothes so we could fix dinner, go for a walk, RELAX, etc. If we were were practicing in the chapel we had to "show respect" for the Lard. I came wearing nice comfortable clothes, usually pants/jeans with a nice top or sweater. The same things I wear now that I go to a church were Jesus doesn't get pissed if you wear flip-flops or more than one earring. Anyway. I had already been choir director and did/still do a lot of singing in the community. They really pushed the "worthiness=conformity and obdedience by wearing the right clothes but nobody got in my grill about it because they didn't want to lose a longtime singer/pianist/conductor. I think they finally gave up on it because it was hard enough getting people to come out for choir practice and many were staying away because of it. One more example of taking the fun and joy out of everything

I wore nice slacks the first time I went to church with my TBM ex-husband, as I didn't know that rule. After I was told about the ban on pants by my ex, I started to wear skirts, but I quickly changed into pants the moment I was done with church.

Once I left my ex and quit going to the Mormon church, I donated my dresses and most skirts, and went right back to wearing slacks when I dressed up. I do have a couple of sun dresses, which is something Mormons can't wear because they show off the shoulders. In the summer, I only wear flip flops, and I even have a couple of nice leather ones.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/11/2011 02:23PM by adoylelb.

Women having to wear a skirt/dress to church is a stupid rule. What would be hillarious is to see the way mos would react if a man walked into SM wearing a dress. That would be priceless.

luckychucky Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Women having to wear a skirt/dress to church is a
> stupid rule. What would be hillarious is to see
> the way mos would react if a man walked into SM
> wearing a dress. That would be priceless.



Now that's something I would gladly pay to see!!!

If you want to buy me a nice dress that will fit a guy with a 38w 34L pant size and a xxl shirt size, I'll do it. My DW could go ahead of time (in Levis of course) with a hidden camera to document (I would need to get my hands on a camera too).

Yorkie Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> luckychucky Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Women having to wear a skirt/dress to church is
> a
> > stupid rule. What would be hillarious is to see
> > the way mos would react if a man walked into SM
> > wearing a dress. That would be priceless.
>
>
>
> Now that's something I would gladly pay to see!!!

We once had a principal who said in faculty meeting that he thought all male teachers should wear a tie. He couldn't enforce it since it wasn't in the district rules so most of the teachers ignored it. However, one guy, Mormon too, but a rebel, came to work all of the next week wearing a tie. It had American flags all over it, was about six inches wide at the bottom and was so long it dragged on the floor. The kids all wanted to know what was up, but he never said a word. Of course all the teachers knew why. We never heard another word about ties. I know, a bit OT but kinda related and it was funny.He was a cool Mormon

I attended a ward that had a very old cranky heating system,some sundays we were frozen,and I suffer with a joint problem,so I wore trousers with an ankle length skirt over them,even some elderly matrons thought that an abomination,was I glad when I left and went to another church,what a liberation to wear trousers to church,the Lord I know now has no difficulty with it I'm sure.

I almost always wear pants wherever I go, church (mormon or not), funerals, work, etc. I have never been a dress kind of girl, it reminds me of when I was young and my mom making me dress up for Easter (the only time of year that we went to church) and having to wear a frilly floral dress, white stockings, and white plastic shoes. Ugh!

I wore pants and still do whenever I want. I don't live out west, I live in a place where a baptism is such a big deal. No one ever told me not to wear pants but it does make you feel kind of awkward if you're the only person wearing them (usually I was). I don't think anyone said anything because they didn't want to alienate me so early on. I'm sure if I'd gone longer and actually been baptized it would have come out.

In the last six and a half years that my husband and I have been together I have set foot in a mormon church building exactly five times. Three weddings and two funerals.
For the weddings I wore either a dress or skirt and top but made sure it would be considered horribly immodest, tube top type or spaghetti straps. For both funerals I wore nice slacks, heels and a dark colored blouse. Which is what I would wear to any funeral.

One of the funerals was for a younger guy who had committed suicide and several of his nonmormon friends showed up in clothes not normally seen in a mormon church so I didn't stand really stand out.

The second funeral was my husband's grandmother. I have never gotten so many dirty looks and not quiet enough whispers in my entire life!

I'm used to them from my husband's extended family but most of these were from people I had never even met. Some of the dirty looks were coming from women wearing khaki jumpers and floral print skirts purchased in 1984. Some were coming from the people (family) who wore sweats to my wedding since it was in a college reception area and not a church basketball court. It only got worse when we sat in the family section of the chapel and were the only ones of 28 grandchildren +spouses and 29 great-grandchildren left sitting in the pews when they all went up front to sing "I am a Child of God."

My husband and I have since come up with some standards for ourselves. We will go into the churches for weddings and funerals but not for any other reason. And we dress nice, I always wear pants or an outfit that makes his mother frown and purse her lips (but never say anything) and he wears a brightly colored button up. We also decided we are never waiting outside the temple for anyone to come out after getting married, we've done it twice (for his brothers) and it was two times too many.

If only I could find a ton of LDS women to set a date to wear pant suits to church. But that's the problem, they are LDS.

(which is the length most women's skirts are) and sit in one of those little Primary chairs! Yeah, they like seeing us women do that. High heels put your knees even higher above your crotch, when you're sitting I'm long-legged, and there's no room to scrunch my legs sideways. I used to wear my Victoria's Secret slip and panties, so whatever was viewed would be colorful.

The last time I wore high heels was to a Mormon wedding in the JS Building. The JS parking was full, and all the parking garages and all the city buildings were bombed-out caverns and rubble, so we had to park about a mile away. Outside the reception room, we stood in line for an hour. My feet hurt so badly after that, I couldn't play tennis for three weeks--definitely not worth it!

Many of the older women in the ward had to have foot surgery, as a direct result of wearing high heels--hammer-toe, bunions, arch problems, bone spurs and plantarfascitis, etc. Every winter, some woman slips in her high heels on the ice at church, and breaks something.

Ever since BYU, the dress codes have bothered me, even when I was a TBM. The way I rebelled, is that I purposely wore my business clothes to church. The men do, right? I had to work hard to support my children, and I was marginalized for having a career, then for being divorced. Hence, the fitted business suits with a nice colored blouse, instead of jumpers with tee shirts, or Mother Hubbard long dresses, or frilly floral prints with a corsage. Another advantage to suits, is that they did not show any garment lines, or lack thereof. I added more jewelry or a scarf to go to a wedding after work. Damned if I was going to waste a dressy dress on a Mormon wedding.

I wore flats in the summer and flat boots in the winter. Keep your winter boots on, and your coat and purse with you at all times, while in a Mormon church--these will get stolen! (Belongings get stolen in the temple, too.) I never carried a purse to church, and I kept my keys and a pencil and paper in my suit pockets, and I rarely needed a coat--another advantage to a suit.

Net-net you are telling me that Hillary Clinton would make a terrible mormon......

I was an ex member and a young man who worked at my office asked me to attend to hear his going away missionary talk.

The bishop was visibly angry that a woman dare wear pants into his chapel.

I was dressed very nicely. I had on a long wool coat, very stylish. I have not owned a dress in over 30 years. So it was wear nice jeans or buy a dress which I would never wear again.

I couldn't believe how miffed he was, but nobody else seemed to give me a second glance.

I guess the bishop didn't like black.