I'm not going to post my whole story on here again (just go check my other topics) but my boyfriend turned missionary then serious doubter has come home. He was only gone for three months, but with the thought that I wouldn't see him for another two years... just made it feel so much longer.
I just saw him for the first time tonight and it was amazing. It was like no time had passed at all.

So thank you everyone who gave me advice and offered your support. I needed it. Also thanks to the people that said things like "I bet you anything he won't come back... he'll be so pressured into staying." I understand where you were coming from but that negativity just fueled me further. (Not to push him into anything, just for my own personal gain)

Coming back to his house I thought his parents would be weird. But they were just the same. They TRULY are nice, genuine people and I can tell that they want what's best for their son. Even if their beliefs on all that are cuckoo.
And yes, he will get asked if he's planning on going back but we talked about it and there is no way he's even considering it.
They gave him some book to read by Kimball called "Something something forgivness blah blah blah"
He showed it to me and said there was no way in hell he was reading that. I told him I'd give him my copy of Under the Banner of Heaven to read. He'd like it a lot more, I'm sure.

So once again, thank you all.

Text him *this minute* and tell him to put it in the trash.

If he reads it he may find it to be very damaging. Tell him to avoid it at all costs. Be a good friend and do this for him.

I'm glad he came home. :-)

The book is probably the "Miracle of Forgiveness" but around here we call it "It Would be a Miracle IF You Could Ever Be Forgiven"

Horrible book. Horrible message.

I recall some of your story....but am not certain how his parents feel about you and your role in all this. His excuse for leaving was what????

He simply couldn't be there because of his prior transgressions. He doesn't feel guilt because he thinks what we did was wrong (he doesn't) but he felt like a hypocrite preaching something he didn't abide by or very much believe in.
That was the thing that the mission pres. and all harped on. Forgiveness, Forgiveness... But they didn't much pay attention to the part where he said that he just doesn't believe in it enough to teach it.

After awhile it just became him not listening and a bunch of head nodding. Anything he could do to speed up the coming home again process.

written by a delusional puppet with a hoarse voice.

ST

Thank you!

You may think his family is accepting. I wonder how the conversation will go behind his back or when you are not around. The fact that they gave him the book “the miracle of forgiveness” (see the reviews on amazon) means they feel he can repent of or needs to be forgiven of something. Now what would that be? The fact that he followed his conscience and took a higher road than family or his church can comprehend?

Yes they are nice now. I'm not saying that they are not good people but their lifelong training will override what is actually right. The insidiousness of LDS righteous behavior hasn't gotten up to speed yet in this story. The end justifies the means when you have the truth.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/23/2011 02:04AM by tsunami3445.

Well I'll be. If my memory serves, I believe I was one of the doubters. I was wrong, but it is one of those times I am glad I was wrong. I am happy for you. When you have time you should fill us in on the story of his return etc. I am sure I am not the only one interested in how it all went down.

P.S. Hope to see him on here one day =)

I may refer him to this site one day. I don't think he's ready quite yet though.
He doesn't want to talk about it with other people (big surprise there)

I think he compared it (Mormonism) to having a crazy uncle. He knows his uncle is crazy, but it's still his uncle and he's the only one that can say how crazy he is.
To which I replied, that's fine as long as you know how truly crazy I think your uncle is. And I can and will comment when I see fit.
Like about that book he's supposed to read. I told him to just let me read it and I'll summarize it for him. I think he liked that idea.

Well, him coming home...
We'd been texting everyday for a couple of weeks. He was using his mission cell phone. And one day I texted him and he said not to text back but he loved me. Which happened quite a while so I didn't think anything of it.
And then I got nothing for the next day, which was strange. No goodnight, nothing. I thought the worst that they had found out he'd been texting (and sometimes the things we texted weren't... all too appropriate to say the least) and took his phone away.

So it's around 5 pm the next day and I'm on Facebook and he starts up a chat. At first I thought it was his little brother or his mom, but after he said how sexy I looked in my profile picture, of course I knew it was him. So I got ready and went over to his house.
I was worried about SO many things...
My dad even commented, "You're going there? Can you say ritualistic killing of a Jew on the Sabbath?"

So I pulled up to his house, and it felt so surreal. I'd been there a few times after he left to dog sit or to drop something off or to help his mom out with something. Every time I was there I expected to see him and never did. And now I actually knew I'd see him. So I texted him and told him to come outside because I didn't want to go in quite yet.

And I see him walk out in his dress shirt, pants, and the tie I had sent him for Christmas. We hugged, made small talk and he asked if we were just going to make small talk until he kissed me.
And it just felt like I was home again. Like I had been somewhere else for the past three months and now I get to feel normal again.
It was familiar and awesome. I'm not the kind of person that talks about my emotions often or tell people how I feel, but that just all came out like word vomit. (A lovely image, I know)

Like I said, his family was fine. I think for now they believe that he's going to eventually go back. You need to wait a year since your last 'transgression' if you want to go back out. Which, just isn't going to happen.

The way he put it was that he didn't feel guilty or think it was wrong or bad what we did. He felt guilty about being a hypocrite.

So he still has a bunch of stuff to work out on the homefront. And a lot of things he still needs to figure out. But I just keep assuring him he has time, no need to rush anything and that I'll be there to help him.

He has an older sister that is no longer Mormon who I spoke to before he came back. She's happy for him and is there to give him support, answer questions, and just be there for him. So I'm glad she doesn't feel so alone since she's the only one in the immediate family that is no longer Mormon.


And after being gone and everything we went through emotionally and how we've both changed, it still felt as though I had just seen him yesterday and that no time had passed at all.

Good Luck, rockfish! As a sidenote. Hinkley was one confused guy. When confronted by Larry King about mo-teachings, he either flatly denied them or couldn't remember they were doctrine. I'm suprised that TBM's give credence to any books he wrote.

Hey girl, gotta say, I'm impressed.

I can assure you I was absolutely one of the doubters.

Maybe there is hope for this boy.

Good luck with everything in the future.

likely to be a big deal. He'll be interviewed by the bishop and others probably, because of his assumed transgressions (they will call it fornication), and probably excommunicate him from the LDS Church. Or they will insist he marry you asap in a civil marriage with the assumption that you'll go to the temple in a year if you join and both of you are "worthy."

I don't know this for sure,of course, but there are enough clues in your comments (the book: Miracle of Forgiveness is a huge clue), that lead me to those conclusions as it's the logical next step in their religious beliefs. The only way to circumvent any of it is to resign his membership or get married, if he wants to keep his membership.

He sounds like he is not much of a believer anymore.His non-believing sister will be a big support.

He may go through a lot of angst in the next few months. He'll need you and his sister.

I repented of a wayward youth and went on a mission, '90-'92.
As part of my penance, my bishop told me to buy and read Miracle of Forgiveness and come back in a month, which I did.
At the time I was so excited it didn't sink in, but by the time I finished my mission and understood the implications, I had suicidal depression over it.
If your boyfriend is a non-believer and doesn't believe the book is authoritative, he'll either not read it, or he'll just see it as drivel if he does.
BUT, if he believes that the president of the church really is a prophet, even if he doesn't believe in parts of the church, then this book is an idealogical manifesto that could delude him (or it might make him an unbeliever if he isn't already).

The book reads like an Islamic Sharia manifesto. It is especially preoccupied with and intolerant of sex.

But the worst part of the book is how it logically ties together all sin into a single perfection-or-bust challenge. For example, if you masturbate, admitting it's not a "grievious" sin in itself, it could lead to homosexuality and beastiality. So watch out masturbators, today your hand, tomorrow your dog.

The thesis of the book is "God HATES dirty whores, you're a dirty whore, but Jesus will let it slide IF you COMPLETELY repent".