One of the real challenges with leaving Mormonism seems to be the tendency for Mormonism to be such a large part of a member's identity. It is not just something that someone does or an organization that people belong to. Mormonism is something that becomes a part of a person. Some people attend or are a member of various churches whereas you ARE a Mormon. When a person's live is inextricably intertwined with his or her religion they are ill-equipped to handle internal or external challenges to that religion.

It is often similar to being part of an abusive relationship. When leaving Mormonism, it is not uncommon for the exmormon to become entangled in other communities that are equally as controlling. Many exmormons seem to find healthy places to socialize. However, there are several friends from my childhood who left Mormonism and have become enmeshed in communities that have now become their identity. Rather than becoming themselves they became what someone else wanted them to be.

My religion is my identity as well- the church of " FREEDOM AND AS MUCH FUN AS POSSIBLE, especially on Sunday!!!"

a lot of energy on that.

I'm a child of God, and he wants me to spend 10% and most of my free time on it? What kind of ego maniac demands that of his kids?

That was one of the hard things about leaving. I knew I couldn't stay mormon because I didn't believe, but to leave something that had been so integral to my life for 23 years, was difficult.

Also my best friends were mormon. My family was mormon. My husband's family was mormon.

I've kept some mormon friends and just last week went to a get together at a mormon's house. I did not know most of the women and they almost all introduced themselves with adding their calling and how may children they had. I thought, they have nothing else in their lives but to go to church and be a wife and mother. I was then ostracized when I said that I had no children and when asked what ward I was in, I answered I was not a member. Ah, good times. I'm so glad I left.

Leaving the Mormon faith was difficult.

When I received the letter telling me to appear at a disciplinary council, the first thing I could think of was to write a resignation letter. I found the letter which I never sent in. It stated that resigning my LDS membership was the most difficult thing that I had ever done.

Being exed, the local MOs took care of what I could not do.

Such is life....

Mormonism is like Islam in that respect. That's a connection that has been made before--I'm just reporting here. The religion takes over everything and identifies you to the world.

I think that's why some people who have clearly gotten past Mormonism as a religion still identify with "Mormon culture." I am thinking of basically liberal Mormons who got loose of the thought control intellectually but who are still caught up in defending Mormon culture.

I believe that what happens to us, is not who we are, but is only a mere piece of our lives that helps us to make decisions to become the people we choose to be and meant to become. Everyone chooses their own destiny.

See, I always thought this whole 'Mormon culture' thing was BS. Maybe it's because I'm from California, or because I was in a crazy ward. I don't know. I never felt like TSCC was my 'culture'. & I am BIC, I had a major calling at a young age in my ward, 4 years of Seminary, etc. etc. But it just felt like church, & nothing more to me. & the people who did act like, 'Oh this is my culture too.' I thought they were complete nuts.

Mormonism is as a generational, familial, social, traditional, cultural, ritual, religious tribe. It includes how they dress, what they eat and drink, and how they spend their time and money --- every facet of their life from what they think to what they feel to what they believe, what they read, and even what movies they watch. It is a 24/7 religion complete with regulation underwear.

It started out as a small tribe in New York, then moved to other states, and eventually, cemented as a tribe in isolation in Utah by Brigham Young. They even use that term from time to time.
As a convert, I was told it was my adopted tribe.
Your whole identity is as a member of the religious tribe.

Leaving it is, in essence, leaving your tribe.
That, in my experience and observation, accounts for how difficult it is to leave it completely.
Not accepting the beliefs is not all there is to it. It is only the first step.
It requires learning to identify the authentic: YOU, and creating a whole new World View from scratch.
It includes rewriting every single automatic thinking script from childhood if BIC, or as a convert, from years of subtle teachings.

Leaving Mormonism requires courage, tenacity, perseverance, steadfastness and a willingness to give ourselves permission to take our power back.

That is why I call it an Exit Process from Mormonism. It's a process that for some, can take years.

Yes. As a member of the LDS Church, the members whole identtyy is wrapped up in the cloak of the tribe.

That is why I often use this quote:

"The individual has always had to struggle to resist the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

--Nietzsche

These LDS that define their whole identity are so blinded or stupid and believe everything and give away their tithing money when they aren't even well off. These folks always wear Y tshirts, blindly support that team, what else do they do, they talk about bishopric and GC events, just their whole life is this goofy church and of course, i let them talk away since I am fascinated by this cult and all religions and how they control their members.