members who don't/haven't gone to church for a long time, but who say they don't think its necessary to resign.

My view is that they need to resign to show the morg that they are in control of their own life. That they will be saying loud and clear 'you don't own me'.

Your views please.

They might want to retain ties, no matter how weak, for social, cultural, familial, or emotional reasons.

My thinking is that they don't "need" to do anything regarding the church. The "you must" attitude is how the church does business. Not free-thinking individuals when dealing with voluntary associations.

OTOH, I don't think it does any harm to let them know that they can resign via email should their church membership ever prove bothersome.

From my chair, its quite satisfying to know the cult ain't gettin' my money.

Timothy

I just addressed this in another thread. I do feel I gave in to their tactics, but my daughter did need to know I meant business. She has been trying to fix me ever since she went back--her way of fixing is "everything will be okay and I'll never have to worry about you again if you go back."

In her selective memory, she remembers up until her dad left and we went to church. We were all supposedly "happy" then. As my son states--"But dad was cheating then, too!" You know--appearances in mormonism are everything. He started cheating when she was 1-1/2--just because WE CHOSE to be happy. It wasn't mormonism that made us that way.

Anyway--I did it FOR HER. Crazy as that sounds.

BUT do I think it will stop contact. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA (that is my crazy laugh). I think it will up the fellowshipping.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/20/2011 08:10AM by MJ.

My reason for asking was because it has come up in conversation.

I feel that if they want visits/contacts to stop they should resign, but one lady said 'I don't go, they shouldn't contact me'. I tried to say how the morg will keep on calling as long as she remains a member but she didn't get it.

You gave her the best advice, if she does not want to take it, it's her business.

It is a personal decision. You might let them know that it is an option, but I wouldn't push.

I don't think you should shove anyone in that direction. Maybe they don't care. I know I didn't. I settled for "death by cop".

Ron

I may be a pessimist about this, but I think the whole resignation thing is an act of futility. It may in some way be cathartic for the person "resigning" but I have a strong suspicion that as far as the church is concerned the person is still in their databanks - only with a little box checked saying they've resigned.

Like someone else here posted recently, you can check out any time you like but you can never leave.

I seriously doubt the church destroys the membership records of those who have resigned. And I suspect they probably continue to count those who have resigned as people who have been baptized but no longer practice.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/20/2011 09:40AM by kookoo4kokaubeam.

Whether you resign from an organization or not, its members do NOT have the right to stalk or harrass anyone.

Resignation is a personal decision,it makes no sense to keep "shouldding" over people.

When I finally figured out that I had been duped into believing in Mormonism, I resigned. That was the right thing to do for me. I know of others who have not made the effort to officially leave the church. I wish everyone who understood that Mormonism is based on false claims would disassociate themselves from the church loud and clear but, at the same time, I have not urged anyone to resign since I left because I feel that this decision is personal and not something I want to get involved in.

I have not really decided one way or the other. One the one hand, it tells them that you do not want them in your life and that you quit. This also allows for you to presumably leave with a clean record. On the other hand, when you resign you essentially say that you still recognize them as an important entity.

When you simply walk away and refuse to acknowledge their authority, it might be a better dismissal of them.

There are lots of reasons not to formally resign, such as family. Many people would lose it if a family member formally resigned, essentially disowning their eternal family.

Some people like my parents would rather see me excommunicated because that is a part of the repentance process that would allow for me to repent and return.

There is no wrong way to go about dismissing the church from your life, but where family or legality or personal viewpoint is concerned, take the least disruptive route.

There is also one othe possibility, which I personally advocate:
Be baptized into another church and wash the sins of mormonism from your soul. Yes you might be invited to church court for Apostasy, but in your new church it is called repentance. Either definition means to turn away from error.

IMO it was the actual resignations of numerous credible people that finally became a tipping point for our family to actually consider contrary information about mormonism. People who were exed were obviously not credible and people who merely slunk away were "hiding" something (their sins, of course). When it became clear that numerous credible people were resigning in the full light of day without any hint of "slinking" away, then we wanted to know what was so compelling to them. We have many of these early courageous people to thank and only wished we would have known earlier.

IMO Everyone needs to resign out of integrity to the truth. If you were a member of the nazi party and you became aware that the party was rounding up people and locking them up in concentration camps and abusing them, you would be hard pressed to defend a decision to stay in the party "since the party has no real authority" or because someone else might be upset.

Remember, the cult wants you to remain anonymous. Mormons are happy to have you sitting in the pews looking like a happy member even if you are a silent apostate. SILENCE contributes to more people inadvertently believing the fairly tale of mormonism. We all need to stand up and be counted on this because WHY one leaves the church is vital as a lifeline to the prisoners who remain. Merely slinking away CONFIRMS to the TBMs that you really STILL believe but do not have the character to conform your life to the gospel.

Many posters here on this Board have spouses and children and other family members who still believe the cult fantasy. The more credible people in every walk of life (exmos and nonmos) who can laugh and say, "What, you still believe in mormonism after all the evidence against it," the more credible it will be to resign for others, and the more mainstream it will be to get all the facts about this crazy cult on the table.

We need more about the diversity of people who have left the cult to come out, rather than have the perception that its "only" the historians, disgruntled ex-employees, homosexuals and feminists, etc. who have left. I love the "I am an Exmormon" project for this reason.

I look forward to the day when political mormon candidates or candidates for other serious positions will be challenged on the basis that a belief in mormonism calls into question the candidate's judgment and ability to conduct due diligence -- akin to believing the sun revolves around the earth. Would anyone elect David Koresh or Warren Jeffs to an important position?

Once upon a time we only had Fawn Brodie and the Tanners to refer to and their isolation made it easy to dismiss them -- I never seriously read their excellent material for years. Today, we can produce dozens if not hundreds of resignation letters from seasoned, experienced, life-long mormon credible people who have left the church ON ITS OWN MERITS and there is nothing more compelling to mormons than TESTIMONIES. Please ADD YOURS and RESIGN.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/20/2011 11:47AM by rodolfo.

My thoughts exactly! Slinking away and remaining a member only confirms in TBM's minds that there's nothing wrong with the church; there's just some people who aren't "ready" to come back yet.

Resigning shows the faithful that people are really rejecting the faith and severing ties. Makes people realize all is NOT well in Zion. And correct me if I'm wrong, but even if you are still "on record" in some database in SLC, you are no longer on the local rolls for them to fellowship (harass) you indefinitely. Out of sight, out of mind, right?

DH really didn't care one way or the other about officially "resigning." We walked away and that was that.

However we continued to let our HT visit us (every 6 mos or whatever the minimum is), since he was a nice guy and he was just doing his job. Then one day he decided that he was going to "answer our questions" (because surely we had some since we didn't go to church anymore) at the end of the evening we told him that he was no longer welcome to visit. To which he responded that he had the RIGHT to visit us unless we resigned.

So we did.

membership if they are not believers. In the past, they were just "inactive."

I don't think there is any right or wrong answer. People can do what they want, when they want, or do nothing.
There are a lot of variables that go into resignation - to resign or not to resign.
It's entirely up to the individual or family.

Until about the last 10 to 15 years, it rarely happened, in my experience. And then, only because they were changing churches, or something similar.

Now, since the Information Age on the Internet, members know much more about their religion and can now even resign by email as it'a a legal document.

I don't think the LDS Church had any clue this kind of resignation choice would turn into such a big deal for so many.
People who just let the status quo alone, now are taking the step to resign their membership in large numbers.

Some, like myself, made the decision to resign my membership. In my case, I needed to know it was not going to cause a problem with my believing hubby of nearly four decades. I needed him to be OK with it, and he was.
I am very content with my decision. I needed to sever ties and change how I lived the rest of my life. I recommend it if it's possible. If not, that's OK also.

I always thought if I ever quit, I'd FOR SURE rescind my membership. After all, I saw the tremendous amount of time he spent on people who NEVER CAME TO CHURCH or had anything to do with church. I thought I would never want to be that burdon on anyone.

But...now that I'm out, I just don't want to bother with it. And, I don't think most clerks are as OC as my husband was. Most of them don't worry much about the mess the membership books are in.

Maybe I should ask to be taken off the rolls, but I just don't care. I have enough else to think about. (For the time being, at least)

dimmesdale Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I always thought if I ever quit, I'd FOR SURE
> rescind my membership. After all, I saw the
> tremendous amount of time he spent on people who
> NEVER CAME TO CHURCH or had anything to do with
> church. I thought I would never want to be that
> burdon on anyone.
>
> But...now that I'm out, I just don't want to
> bother with it. And, I don't think most clerks are
> as OC as my husband was. Most of them don't worry
> much about the mess the membership books are in.
>
> Maybe I should ask to be taken off the rolls, but
> I just don't care. I have enough else to think
> about. (For the time being, at least)

It seriously takes about as much time as it took you to post here.

If you do business in Utah, you would be wise to keep your apostasy to yourself. Incredibly, people can verify your membership with a phone call.

Privacy is one of the reasons people stay members.

Anagrammy

However today, because you can just send an email to Greg Dodge to resign, it takes no more time than it does to come to this board, read a post then respond to it. There are other personal reasons to not want to resign but “time and effort” is no longer a good reason IMO.

and I have my first letter--

If you could see it, read it, "feel it"--maybe you'd feel like I do. I read it and it made me want to puke.

"An Invitation"

Come Back. Stand with us. Feast at the table laid before you in TCJCLDS and strive to follow the good shepherd.

The attitude is so self-righteous. The whole letter and pamphlet are so ??????

It just made me glad I did it.

"My view is that they need to resign to show the morg that they are in control of their own life. That they will be saying loud and clear 'you don't own me'."

I can see and respect your POV. But I can also see another POV (which I personally lean towards) that takes the opposite approach. Namely, me not caring whether my name is on their records or not is what puts me in control of my own life. If I feel a NEED to resign to send them a message then they're still getting at me psychologically/emotionally. Part of me feels that I won't be truly free until I'm completely apathetic.

Either way, I am sure the Morg report you as during general conference. Either way, I appreciate the fat that I am "free" by resigning. I recommend it to everyone.