Parental units called tonight. They told me that someone died. Then they told me that the Mormon church is building a temple near them in Carmel, Indiana. I knew about this already from RfM, and I told them so. Then Dad asked me to send an updated copy of all the genealogical records to him so that he could begin the temple work for the dead foolishness. I'm the family historian, so I am the one to ask.

I told him that I wish he was interested in these people as more than just birth, marriage and death information. He was caught off-guard by that remark, but he came right back lamely trying to feign an interest beyond three pieces of data and a dunk tank. Now that it comes to it I don't know how I feel about being party to this disgraceful, controversial secret ceremony.

I've considered a few options. I could just flat out say no. I don't want to be involved in an extortion scheme to extract "tithing" money from my parents. It pains me to think of contributing to my ill-mannered family members dancing on the graves of the dead with these sick rituals and their fantasies of converting dead people - my ancestors - to Mormonism. I've been trying to interest my TBM family in genealogy for years, but Mormons don't seem to be interested in genealogy until they're on their way to the temple. They certainly couldn't give a damn about who they're ancestors were or what they did unless they were Mormon or famous. I already sent my TBM family all this information as I was discovering it. Didn't they read any of it?

I could present my TBM family with their own four generation pedigree chart and group sheets, as traditionally mandated by the Mormon church. That will get them back to about 1870.

I could send the whole thing to them, but include a letter discussing my distaste for Mormon temple rituals and the Mormon religion as a whole, along with my express disapproval for using this data in the performance of these rituals. I don't think what they're doing is giving the dead an option to convert in an imaginary Mormon "spirit world." I'm an atheist, and I don't believe in spirit worlds. It seems to me that what they are doing is a ritualistic washing away of the memory of these people by the living. Plus, it's a big waste of time.

Finally, lately I've been thinking of giving up trying to have a relationship with members of my family and moving on. I'm tired of fighting with these crazy people, and I just don't care anymore. I'm tired of even describing what it's like to deal with them. I think Mormons are a completely soulless and amoral people who would take up public urination if the Church made it a temple recommend question. Maybe I'm wasting my time. I'm tempted just to send it to them just so I won't have to hear from them anymore.

Mak, just send them some group sheets, and they will soon tire.

You could use this opportunity to force them to do some research themselves. If they ask for more info, lead them along, to read actual history and bio, etc..

Time for Dad and Mom to put up and get busy on the bookwork. So you can teach them, and back away.

I also tried to interest my family in our ancestors. They are not interested, and I know one day someone will expect my research - free. After stealing my inheritance, watching me go hungry, and doing nothing when I was homeless, except make my pain worse, they are going to pay me for it. Afterall, I do professional work, and my brother, as a good NeoCon, allegedly believes in the value of work. Likewise, he believes only people like him work, and that poor or disabled people only take from people like him, and do no work or contributions of their own.

Maybe you could exchange it for any letters or photographs they might have, because of your interest in the actual lives, and histories of your ancestors.

I find it amazing that they asked for research you already sent them, not to mention the "send me everything you have" request is one of the most obnoxious things to ask a genealogist, unless you already have everything practically in book form. The charts I work from are near perfect, but are still working charts so they sometimes contain errors. I never send information that is not completely verified. I have offered to trade information, and no one has followed through with their promise.

Four generations sounds good. {Rant} If it were my family I could easily refuse, because I know they simply do not care about me, and never will. Maybe you could send them a list of local volunteer opportunities for actual living, breathing people who need help. There are more people in need in this economy. That is how I came to my decision. I have suffered a great deal, because of my family. My brother got me disinherited, because he said the money would be "wasted" on me, because I have a disability, and would just spend it. He likes to think he would make wise choices for his money to grow, but he spent it to keep up with his wealthier friends. He sees me as worthless although I have more education than he does. He could never do the research I have done, and until he acknowledges the living, the dead are off limits to him, and everyone else. All they have ever done is take from me, even when I worked in high school, and he thinks I will be a doormat, but not this time.

I know some people would not give names. I used to be one of them. Now, I do not care what they do.

It is so meaningless to me--heck, they can take my name and sacrifice chickens.

I'd give family names to my family no matter what 'religious' ceremony they planned to do.

I've been asked to write memories, send journal articles, and give names for mormons to process. I just shrug it off because I'm not comfortable contributing to causes that I see as harmful. I know they wouldn't accept or understand my reasoning so I don't bother to explain. If they're too assertive about demanding something from me, I'd finally simply say, "No, I won't be doing that."

if they know the names of the people who died then give totally different birth dates and birth places. if they only know the first name give them a phony last and middle name... =)

dont send any documents, just send them some fake info in a mail. send along also a short list of totally fake people in addition to the ones they're asking for... lol =)

simpsons style, like I. P. Freeley or T!ts McGee (but maybe not as obvious) =) maybe even go bilingual and write something like "Stoora Patter" (transliteration "store patter", danish for "big t!ts") or "Sewg Meen Pikk" (transliteration for "sug min pikk" norwegian for "suck my d"#¤") or "Guud Air Homse" (transliteration for "gud er homse" norwegian for "god is gay") =)

i could just imagine witnessing the baptism:
"i baptize you, for and in behalf of "Sewg Meen Pikk", who is dead..."

i would probably throw up from laughter if had been there.. =)


or if you dont want to, then:
* say you'll do it, but then never get around to doing it
* say you cant find the info
* say you lost it
* say you sent it, then maybe it just got lost in the mail? did you check you spam box? etc...



Edited 10 time(s). Last edit at 01/24/2011 04:26AM by Nick Humphrey.

It might be interesting to tie it in to my own genealogy, on the Mormon side of course. Perhaps one of our female ancestors had a run-in with Julian Mayfair after disembarking from a ship in New Orleans before traveling to Utah, a child born shortly thereafter with many "gifts of the Spirit." Of course, Julian's incestuous relationships would be sealed in the holy temple of God for time and all eternity. Or I wonder how many times my mother would have to repeat the name of "Amanda Huggenkiss," married to 14 different men, before Mom realizes that she's been had. :)

Accuracy is another problem. Dad did temple work for his father's family once, and it's all wrong in the IGI. Brothers with the same names, dates 30 years off, middle names recorded as surnames, etc. The submissions must have been typed up by a bunch of dyslexic baboons.

I think I'm going to stall for time until I can upload the whole kit and kabootle to Rootsweb, including my copious notes which tell the real story of these people's lives. I'm not interested in participating in Mormon sham ceremonies, but I also don't want to hoard data either. So, they can have the data - just not from me.