I'm thinking it maybe the whole horses thing or perhaps using the French word "adieu"....

But how about the one where the "Jaredites" battle down to the last man on both sides ... then "Coriantumr" beheads "Shiz" ... then Shiz does one last "headless" push-up, gasps for breath, then FINALLY dies (LOL!) ... that's some whacky "shiz" alright! : )



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 02/09/2011 04:27AM by Fetal Deity.

When I was a little kid on the farm we occasionally butchered chickens (I know...Ick!!) Anyway, some of them would run around headless for a bit, so maybe Shiz turned out to be a big chicken!

One of my favorites (in M.Ash's horses-as-food explanation of "prepare the horses and chariots" is "prepare the chicken and backpacks"! I may just change my RfM name to Chicken&Backpacks.....

"He's a chicken, I tell ya! A giant chicken!"

I've always liked the 'prophecy' that foretells the birth of Joseph Smith and what a super-great dude he would prove to be. Gee, who'd a thought?

The rattlesnakes that became "cowboys" and circled the wagons...

The part where the Nephites sneak up on a Lamanite party where they're all naked and having an orgy and a Nephite soldier asks if he can run back to Zarahemla and get is videocam.

Ron

Jesus killing all the wicked for their unbelief on this continent after dying for the sins of all mankind and forgiving those who killed him.

Good catch JOD -- I will add that to my arsenal -- this says it all. No need to look further.

Simply the phrase: "And it came to gas"

Abinadi spent two years hiding in the wilderness, the comes into town in a disguise. and says (paraphrase) "The lord commanded me saying "Abinadi--go and..."
Two years hiding, disuise, can't go 6 words without blowing his cover."
Love it

The jaridite barges that have a hole in the bottom and the top. But somehow they can "plug up" the bottom when it flips and need a magic finger light stone to see. As well as enough animals to make it smell so bad you would vomit and no where near enough food for everything. The pee (amonia) would end up killing anyone left alive after up chucking daily.

Imagine when one of those things flipped and all the animals including poo end up (well end UP) on you.

50 out of 1000 ways to die.

I don't think you could last 24 hrs. in those conditions.

Hey, they do handcart treks, so why don't they try a submarine-boat voyage? Just planning it would make you quickly realize what a complete yarn it is.

"Therefore Ammon turned himself unto the king, and said unto him: What wilt thou that I should do for thee, O king? And the king answered him not FOR THE SPACE OF AN HOUR, according to their time, for he knew not what he should say unto him." [emphasis added]

http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/alma/18.14?lang=eng


(Can you say: "Awkward silence?!?!?!?")

[This post was not intended as a reply to mrtranquility's post--sorry ... I goofed!]



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 02/09/2011 06:05PM by Fetal Deity.

The preface says -
Written to the Lamanites

A book written to a people that can't even find anymore!

... one, by one, by one, by ... those Lamanites keep coming and Ammon just hacks off that upraised hand again, and again, and again and ...


Now imagine yourself as being Lamanite #18 standing in line to get at Ammon. Would you not have enough time to come up with a bit different strategy that rushing headlong into Ammon with upraised arm?!?!? ... cripes, at least go two-by-two, or four-by-four.

Nope, they are just SO DUMB they continue the single file till they have to scale the arm pile to get to Ammon.

Ammon was like a Bruce Lee Samuri UFC fighting machine. I also thought it was weird that he bagged all the arms to show the King. A picture is worth a 1000 words. JHC Joes Smyth has a wild imagination.

Or a segment from Kill Bill.

Anyone else watch the Living scriptures cartoons of the book of mormon? Laman and Lemuel were like jughead and homer simpson. I realized that the cartoons had a point: The book of mormon was silly.

#1! Nephi's little brother removing his garment during his sermon and waving it as a testiment against the men and then ending with a faggie "adeau"

#2 What happened to the elephants and other oddly mentioned animals? As the people were being driven from the land northward to the land southward, being chased by huge serpents, the animals that died were eaten by the serpents.

Wasn't there something written about a mighty steel bow? I was involved in archery for years. Steel would be the worst thing to make a bow out of. Also,,was steel even invented then? Maybe it was brought over on the horses that wern't here either.

1 Nephi 5:15: Yeah man! We had iron, wood, steel, copper, brass and gold and silver and precious ores and had LOTS of this stuff and we knew how to work with all of it,
bbuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutt.

Wait for it……………………1 Nephi 5:16: We couldn’t really find any of that stuff that we had so much of and knew how to work with, so we built it out of rocks, sticks and cureloms, and it still turned out pretty cool.

God said this right? God translated this right? Well Gods “pattern” is everywhere in mormonism.

Nephi beheading Laban, THEN putting on his garments and walking past his guards.

What happened to all that blood? Would you not look suspicious wearing bloody garments? Never did the deed, but watched enough television to know that if a dude is beheaded, there will be blood, and lot's of it.

"An Account Written by the Hand of Mormon upon Plates Taken from the Plates of Nephi

"Wherefore, it is an abridgment of the record of the people of Nephi, and also of the Lamanites..."


Bwaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahaha! It's like the beginning of a really bad action-hero cartoon!

Covet
Theft
Murder

Wow...to a NeverMo this is all quite interesting (and humorous!). It makes me actually want to read the BOM--not to seek spiritual truth, I hasten to add, but just for the "wacky" factor. "To me he doth not stink"...that would be a great title for an exmo's blog!

Moroni: ... pray to know if these things are NOT true ...


Yep, and they are NOT true ... I was out of there.

The argument for the existence of God. Besides that, it is irrelevant what myths they believe in.

I like the opening, "I, Nephi, you Jane." Wait, I'm getting my stories all mixed up. It's hard to tell one from another, since they're both fiction!

Satyrs.