So, I called my sister in-laws house the other day and was told she was with my mother-in-law buying "temple stuff" (not sure what that is). I was surprised because I did not even know that she had already converted. How long does a convert have to wait before they can go through the temple? Also, could she and her husband (brother-in-law is already mormon, though not endowed) be getting sealed already? I can't ask her these questions because I will end up saying something that pisses her off. Feeling totally sick to my stomach for the past two days. Thanks.

When I joined I was told that I had to wait a year to go to the temple.

but even as a BIC mormon, even if the church keeps the temple secret, I had some idea about things like GARMENTS. I mean my parents wore them all my life. It was just business as usual. I at least had done some baptisms for the dead and had a little tiny clue (seen my parents temple clothes) about the temple.

For converts, was the temple just MIND BLOWING! Garments for one!

I also heard it was a year after conversion that you could take our your "endowment"--sounds so "dirty."

New members have to wait a year to go through the temple. I have known people who will schedule their first temple session for the very date of their 1st baptism anniversary.

Wow, I guess she converted a year ago then. I can only hope now that the temple will sow some seeds of doubt. Can any converts relate how they felt their first time through the temple. From what I have seen and heard, I think what would come across most is how silly it all seems.

laluna Wrote:
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> Wow, I guess she converted a year ago then. I can
> only hope now that the temple will sow some seeds
> of doubt. Can any converts relate how they felt
> their first time through the temple. From what I
> have seen and heard, I think what would come
> across most is how silly it all seems.

I was an adult when I converted and, yes, the first time I went through the temple, I thought: 1) THIS is what I waited a year to experience??? and 2) This is silly.

During the prayer circle part, I had to STERNLY remind myself that this was NO LAUGHING MATTER, or I would have laughed. Silliest thing I ever EVER participated in.

Now the "washing and anointing" part--Laluna, I'm glad for your SIL that this has changed, because when I went through, you had to get naked under that stupid "sheath" that wouldn't save you from a toothpick--that part I found traumatic instead of silly.

I think that, yes, seeds of doubt were planted in my brain that day. After going through the temple that first time, I think I went only twice after that. Might've been three times. But I NEVER did another washing and anointing.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/09/2011 06:52PM by Sorcha.

this is interesting, thank you. What did you do with those seeds of doubt? Did you just ignore how the temple made you feel, did you talk to anyone about it? I am thinking she might realize that she made a mistake while in the temple, but then feel pressured to just act like everything is fine. All my in-laws will be there cheering her on, letting her know that she is finally one of "them"

laluna Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> this is interesting, thank you. What did you do
> with those seeds of doubt? Did you just ignore how
> the temple made you feel, did you talk to anyone
> about it? I am thinking she might realize that she
> made a mistake while in the temple, but then feel
> pressured to just act like everything is fine. All
> my in-laws will be there cheering her on, letting
> her know that she is finally one of "them"

Sadly, I buried those seeds at the time and tried to ignore how the temple made me feel. As a convert, I was 100% committed and believed it was all true (what I knew at the time, anyway), so of course I thought the problem was ME, that I was missing some great spiritual truth and that "feeling the Spirit" thingy would come with time.

If your SIL is committed, as I was, she will indeed feel pressured to act like everything is just fine. I felt that and acted like that. Many of my friends from the ward came and of course told me how radiant and beautiful I looked as we sat in the Celestial Room afterwards. Plus, my BIC DH was there (we'd been married--not in the temple--just over a year) and I wanted to "be right" for him.

That "you're one of us now" stuff can be very powerful to someone who's looking to "belong" to something larger than herself.

But then, so can the cog dis that starts building inside you when you switch your brain back on again. I wish your SIL good luck. IMHO, the best thing you can do for her is be there to listen when she needs a non-mo to vent to. Be her "safe harbor".

Hope this helps you.

I was temple recommended and endowed after 10 months.

I was not impressed with it at all, it seemed really dull, but so many people from the ward showed up to see me get my endowment, and they were all happy.

The signs and stuff seemed kinda childish to me.

...and my super secret name sux!

my ex's last partner's brother . . .

My ex's last partner converted to mormonism in his teens and then he helped convert his brother. His brother is in his 50s now--so had been a member for a long, long time. He and his Russian wife worked for a long, long time to go to the temple.

They walked out of the temple (after being 30 year converts) and never went back to the LDS church.

"He" said that the temple endowment was the stupidest thing he had ever experienced.

You guys make me think bad things. These days, every time I read the phrase, "take out my endowment" my mind runs to how many times a day that happens for me and then my mental meanderings rush off to "a mighty work and a wonder." Sorry!

behold, methinks it swelleth and beginning to grow, and when you feel these swelling motions . . . . . .

I was BIC. The whole time I was thinking along the lines of:

"This is a cult, this is a cult, this is not the religion I was raised in, WTF, WTF, my parents did THIS?, this is a cult..."

All the while, my convert wife on the other side of the room, was thinking that it was weird, but it must be that she just didn't understand it because she was a convert.

I probably only went 2 or 3 more times after that.

CREEPY

Usually shopping for temple clothing is done near the end of the convert’s first year, i.e. close to the actual temple endowment date. However, it may be that MIL hopes to “encourage” your SIL to “stay worthy” by doing the shopping somewhat in advance.

Converts’ reactions to the first temple experience cover a wide range, from finding it invasive and/or thinking it is nuts, to feeling so elated at being one of the elite “worthy” members that any cognitive dissonance is dismissed; and they declare it a spiritual experience.

Hard to say where on that continuum your SIL may land.

If she is shopping for temple clothes, your SIL cannot have been sealed to her husband yet. “Taking out one’s endowment” MUST precede being sealed to one's husband. However, these two rituals may occur on the same day, with the sealing following the endowment.

thank you, WiserWomanNow. Great information. What kind of clothes is she shopping for, garments? Also, would her husband be taking out his endowment at the same time? I do not think she will like the temple. She grew up catholic and, no matter what people may say of the catholic church, I think most would at least admit that when it comes to beautiful rituals, they can't be beat, certainly not by what I hear goes on in the temple. I also cannot imagine being able to have as much respect for one's husband ever again after seeing him in that ridiculous hat! Do BIC mormons know about the hat before they go to the temple?

Garments = white underwear with Masonic markings. There are also ready-made white temple dresses. However, in order to buy these things, one must have a “temple recommend” – a credit-card-sized card signed by the bishop and his superior, the “stake president,” indicating that a member has passed the temple recommend questions and is “worthy” to attend the temple. So usually the clothes are bought between the post-interview issuing of the temple recommend, and the date for temple endowment. Alternatively, MIL could use her temple recommend number to order garments for your SIL (not honest, but happens.)

If SIL’s husband has been a missionary, then he already has his temple endowment, because a missionary is required to go to the temple for his endowment before going on a mission. If for whatever reason SIL’s husband has never been to the temple, however, he can take out his endowment at the same session that your SIL does, and then they can be sealed as man and wife in a separate ceremony afterwards, on the same day.

I joined the church as an adult, which gives me helpful perspectives. You say that you can't imagine respecting your husband after seeing him in a ridiculous looking “baker's hat.” I hear you! However, what a TBM wife sees is that she has married a man who is “worthy” in the eyes of the Lord and worthy to take her to the highest (“celestial”) heaven for ETERNITY!!! Seeing him in a silly hat is not a big deal, compared to the rich eternal rewards that await her for being a worthy wife to a worthy husband.

We would all like to stop those we care about from unnecessary pain and disillusionment. However, we cannot. Your best bet is to let your SIL go and learn for herself what level of meaningfulness (if any) the temple will have for her. If at some point she wakes up and sees Mormonism for what it is, you will be one person in her life who understands! Thank you for caring about her.

thank you for the good advice WiserWomanNow. It was actually timely and necessary. I am having a hard time even being around her now. I know that it is her life and her decision but she and I have always been the non-mo's of the family and kind of had a bond. I feel abandoned by her. Also, I gave her information about the mormon church before she converted. Either she didn't read it or it doesn't matter to her that it is all a bunch of lies. Her family is also having a difficult time with her decision and also feel abandoned. The mormon in-laws have always managed to be the ones that she and her husband associate most with and now her family will be even more left out. I am close with them and hate seeing how hurt they are. However, I think you are right. I do need to let go and quit taking it so personally. It is her life. I will try to be a good non-judgmental friend to her. thanks again, your advice has helped

I was told it was a full year, but it didn't matter as I didn't make it that long to be able to go to the temple. As my TBM ex and I had a civil wedding ceremony, we would have had to wait until our first anniversary at least to be "sealed." In the end, I filed for divorce around the time I would have become endowed.