My grandfather died so I had to attend his funeral this week. All in all not too bad considering what I had mentally prepared myself to expect.

I knew his service would be in a Stake Center somewhere and that I could look forward to the grilling of various family members about my church status. What I wasn't prepared for was the onslaught of comments and questions by a few of my relatives.

"When are you coming back to church?" -- "Never."
"Why did you leave?" -- "I studied myself out. Not offended, didn't sin."
"What can we do to help you return?" -- "Tell Pres. Monson to open the temples to all people who want to worship just as Christ did when he was on the earth. Also, while you're at see if he'll back off the anti-gay rhetoric."
"God will not be mocked. You have mocked God by your actions." -- "Really? How so? Is it because I don't pay tithing? Because I don't attend church anymore? How?"
"You have ruined your family's and children's chance at eternal lilfe. How does that make you feel?" -- "Personally? I don't worry about it. We all have free agency and I've chosen my path in life. I guess we'll all find out how ti all works out in the end. As for now, I'm not worried."
"You've broken the commandments and denied the Holy Ghost. How does that make you feel?" -- "What commandment have I broken? I know of two- 'Love God and love your neighbor.' Unless Christ mentioned another one in the New Testiment than I think I'm OK on that front."

And on and on.

I stood my ground and took their best shots, for over an hour, at convincing me to come back to church and discover the errors of my ways. I held my own and wasn't offended.

They base their lives upon their callings and those of their husbands. My final comment that seemed to end the conversation was this, "If I come back and am rebaptized there's still a big problem to deal with. I'll never be a Bishop or Stake President because of church policy. I'll stay a lowly Elder and have to teach Primary or be a Sunday School Bell Ringer or something. I know those callings are below a male member of the ***** family status and I'd hate to let everyone down."

The final word from my grandmother to me was that after I die, because of my pride and turning away from the church, I will be worse off then the Sons of Perdition and will spend eternity in Outer Darkness. I told her that I hope she visits and brings me a home teaching message.

Other than that uncomfortable experience Utah was nice. Other than the 10,000 kids screaming during the funeral, the 10,000 kids screaming at dinner, the 10,000 kids running around the grocery store screaming, and the 10,000 kids at the airport screaming for food or a bottle. Oh did I mention that all I saw were toddlers and babies screaming and running around while the parents stared straight ahead with lifeless looks on their faces?

I escaped and lived to tell about it.

Well, I can't solidly say gods imaginary or not, but getting grilled like that and being an agnostic, I would have borne testimony to them that it isn't true. Good job. Sorry you had to go through that.

they'll probably be gossiping about you and how EVIL you are and stuff.

Condolences on your grandfather's death (and on what you had to endure at his funeral).

These people dont even know their own theology. You dont merit outer darkness unless you've seen God himself... (according to the mormons) Sounds like a lovely group.

I am glad you did live to tell about this. How sad that they can not let people choose a life path for themselves and keep their mouth shut. All that judging!!!! Yep, Jesus just loves people who do that. But yes, I know, they aren't into Jesus so much. And as for where you will be upon your death. You won't be with them and all their judgemental buddies so YOU will be a good place. Sorry about your grandfather.

in the face of ridiculous, infuriating questions. Good Job!

Here's a non mos look at this after having just the rudimentary aspects of mormonism:

""You have ruined your family's and children's chance at eternal lilfe. How does that make you feel?""

Uh...no...-you- havenot ruined your family's and childrens eternal lives...If they are TBMs to the end..THEY STILL GO TO MORMON HEAVEN.. -You- maynot go due to your sinful and reckless action of leaving the church..

(sarcasm..)

I’d call your post, “How to answer vindictive TBM relatives who are jealous because you are free and don't feel guilty about it”

And you gave many wonderful answers, refusing time after time to accept the blame they kept trying to heap upon you.

Thank you for posting this. Many will benefit from your example!