What's the worst scripture story as far as how warped a doctrine it teaches?

I think the story of Abraham sacrificing Isaac is pretty far up there. To think we believe in a god that has time to "test our faith" like it's some kind of game - that is sick. If this event occurred today, no religion would teach it, because it's child abuse. But all Christian religions teach the lesson of Abraham's great faith in obeying God.

NUMBERS 31:17-18 – God commanded Moses to kill all of the male Midianite children and “kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.” The virgins are presumably raped. (NOTE: How could the soldiers know which women were virgins?)

NUMBERS 31:31-40 – God divided the plunder to the soldiers, the priest, the Israelites and for tribute to the Lord. 675,000 sheep, 72,000 cattle, 61,000 donkeys and

[ drumroll ]

32,000 virgin women!


So...after killing the fathers, the mothers, the little sisters and brothers, the entire families of young women: right in front of their horrified and anguished eyes, the virgins are taken as pleasure slaves

in gods mercy...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/08/2011 11:48PM by roflmao.

I'm a little pissed about the church's carefully edited Old Testamant sunday school "course".
I taught it in 2005 or 2006, the whole course, and didn't know about this chapter!
The church manuals just skip over bad shit.
The OT was made to look like a progressive centuries-ahead-of-its-time gem, dusted-off by modern revelation in every lesson, until it shined and sparkled.
Propaganda.

(Kings 2:23-24)
God sends two bears to rip up 42 little children for making fun of Elisha's bald head.

(2:23) "As he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head."

(2:24) "And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them."

2:23 And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.
2:24 And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.
2:25 And he went from thence to mount Carmel, and from thence he returned to Samaria.

Ah yes, super righteous Elisha rates pretty high on the BSometer.

Too bad my eight year old is already in bed!

I could've shared these gems for bedtime stories!

Good one JoD3:360

Bones talked about this. Booth doesn't like this story at all, and said if god told him to sacrifice his son he wouldn't do it. Go BOOTH!

I'd have to agree with Abraham sacrificing his son too. Not only does it show the prickiness of god but you have to actually wonder about the mentality of Abraham. Abraham would actually have to have came to the conclusion by himself that killing his son is something a just god would ask him to do, because as far as he knew god actually meant for him to kill his son instead of it being a test of faith.

Anyways it's a good story to reference to when I try to ask people if they would obey god in all things even if it was to kill their own children. Their response will always predictably be "well god wouldn't ask me to do that" in an attempt to avoid answering the question and then I'd say "yeah, just like he didn't ask Abraham to kill Isaac?"

My 'favorite' was the one where Lot offered up his 2 virgin daughters to a horny crowd of Sodomites and told them to do whatever they wanted with them, but to please not touch the extra speeshul angels!
The angels ended up vetoing that 'plan' and they all just skipped town and had god nuke it from orbit.

And guess who was so righteous as to be 'saved' from that holy holocaust? Mr give-up-your-daughters-for-a-gang-rape Lot!

Moral of the story? Lot is a fucking prick and should have been left to die w/ everyone else.

It adds depth to the story, dontcha know.

Kind of made me wonder why God bothered to save him at all.

God will kill the majority of the people for the sins of a few.

Hell, he drowned nearly all of his own children because of a few rotten apples. He killed all the first born of Egypt, just to get back at their Pharaoh leader (you can’t tell me all those children deserved it). He destroyed all of Sodom and Gomorrah without regard for those innocent people who must have been living there.

That’s why modern evangelists insist that EVERYONE has to repent. Basically, these evangelists are saying:

“God’s going to punish ALL of us because of gay marriage, alcohol laws, and evolution being taught in schools. So, don’t tell me that what YOU do doesn’t hurt ME. God will kill ALL of us because of YOUR disbelief! The scriptures are full of such examples!”

Recently one well-known preacher said that God brought down the hurricane in Haiti because some of the local people practiced Voodoo.

God always makes the majority suffer for the sins of a few.

I can't recall the names for this story, I think it's in Judges chapter 12, anyway, a man makes a deal with god that if his army is victorious he will sacrifice the first thing to come out of his house upon his return. He is victorious and as it turns out his daughter is walking out of his house when he returns. She is then dutifully sacrificed, he does give her a month or so to say goodbye.

My favorite Jon Stewart quote works well here:

"I read the bible frequently. I like to scare my kids before bed."

And how did they separate the virgins from the non-virgins ?

ehhhhhgcellent point DtA!

The skripchures are BS, perhaps?

Thomas Jefferson when he was putting together his Jefferson bible said we no longer needed the Old Testament because Jesus did away with the old teachings. He was right.

If you think about it, the Old Testament contradicts what Jesus taught and you can't serve two masters. So do away with the Old Testament all together if you are Christian. This also does away with polygamy and the temptation to bring it back.

I love to play mind games with Mormons. Now I'm just going to say I no longer support the church because it believes in the Old Testament. LOL!

There would be no polygamy, no temples, no priesthood, no patriarchs, no garments, no holy oil ect...

The world would be amazing-er!

Always hated that the innocent animals, innocent children, babies and innocent adults were drown.

Only 2 of each species were saved.......two righteous ducks? two worthy horses?

And I thought IF there were a God he could do it. But why would a God destroy the good animals/good humans?

I hate the Old Testament........and I hate all religions equally.

K

TBM's response on facebook to my status of "Example of God's love for his kids. Numbers chapter 31."

quote:

"It is a problematic section without a bigger picture. Numbers 25 presents a prelude, and God's statement to Abraham long before that that although he gave Canaan for an inheritance, they would not go in for a long time because the people we...re not "ripe" for destruction helps. I have a friend whose son, many years ago, went off the deep end in drugs. They worked with him, did everything they could, and when he lived in their house he continued to deal drugs and be arrested. They finally kicked him out because he was completely unwilling to live a life of compatibility with the law. God let 500 years go by, and the child sacrifice and fertility cults grew unspeakable. It was the women who seduced the people in Num. 25, and they were killed along with the men. It's a hard solution we find when we're up against that kind of wall, but I think 500+ years counts as long-suffering for God."

I recognize this TBM!

This is the one who organized the Mountain Meadows Massacre!

In gods mercy...

Matthew 10:34-38

34Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.

35For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.

36And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

37He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

If there's every an example of sociopathic behavior justified by hearing voices, it's Nephi stealing the Brass plates. If you saw a similar story on A&E, you'd give the guy the insanity defense.

Guy goes into rich man's home and demands treasured family heirloom. Rich guy throws man out. Guy breaks in, finds rich guy drunk, and cuts off the rich guy's head. He puts on the rich guy's clothes (which are surprisingly not drenched in blood from the decapitated corpse) and "disguises" himself as the rich guy. The servant walks, fails to see his master's severed head or headless body gushing blood, and mistakes this stranger for the guy he's worked for for years because he's wearing his boss' clothes.

The servant obediently carries the family treasure outside the city, where he finally realizes that the thief is not his employer. Instead of running from the murderer of his boss, he decides to leave his home town and sail across the world on a boat built by the sociopath.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/11/2011 10:12AM by axeldc.

Anything that starts with; "And it came to pass..."