When I was in college, there was a couple in my home ward that I used to hang out with. They were very cool people with diverse interests. Despite their unusual openmindedness, they were also very Mormon. That was a bit disappointing to me, because I had major problems with the Mormon church. I felt trapped by the Church, and I was going through a phase where I knew something was wrong, but I couldn't identify what it was or what to do about it. I made the mistake of talking about my problems with Mormonism with them one day, and it affected our friendship. I went back to college, married and rarely went back home and never saw them again. I left the Church about ten years later.

I've been thinking about them lately, so I looked them up on Facebook. I learned that they had left the Church and divorced. I was sad to learn that, because they seemed then to be so right for each other. They would finish each others' sentences. They loved the same unusual things. They even looked alike. She keeps a blog, and I read a little of it this morning. She talks about being oppressed all her life and the emotional scars and how free she feels now, but I still sense a lot of pain. She is a very talented writer and photographer, which I had no idea years ago. He seems to have become a hermit, gaining a tremendous amount of weight and growing an unsightly beard and long hair.

I'm not sure why I'm writing this. I'm happy that they have found their way out of Mormonism, but I feel really bad for them. I've read countless similar stories on RfM of people who have left Mormonism and suffer emotional scars from a lifetime of involvement in the religion, but the damage is a lot more stark when you see it in people you know. Used to know anyway. I haven't decided if I'm ready to get back in touch with them.

I'm really just sad to see the wreckage this church leaves behind in its wake.

As exmormon ron would say, "I'm just sayin..."

And if you are not single, well, you would be a helluva catch if you were.

How delightful to learn someone has left. Drdad had an uncle who was the family apostate. He was close to death when drdad went to see him. Drdad told him we had resigned from the cult. A tear slid out of nearly-dead-uncle's eye. He said, "I'm so glad to hear that." Or something like that.

And later, he died. I hope no one did his temple work!

Thanks for the compliment. My own divorce is part of the reason I feel the way I do about them, I guess. I am happy they have left the Morg. Leaving it didn't wreck their lives - staying in it for so long did.

you may have created in your singleness?

Sorry - I can't resist my matchmaking tendencies. My brother in law is married to someone I encouraged him to look into when I encountered her here on the board.

Is Liam around 8 now?

Leaving mormonism hasn't wrecked my life, but the "staying in it for so long" is what wrecked my life.

I left at the age of 47, but by then I had lived my whole life under the spell of mormonism. I chose my husband according to mormon standards, was married in the temple, paid tithing, although I got a college degree (from BYU - yipee!), I didn't have a career (you know, all that business about women staying at home, blah, blah, blah), etc., etc., etc. I divorced after 25 years of marriage and am happily living an exmo life, but the scars are still there. There are no do-overs.

TG

Yeah, it's a tough thing to accept. I find that I enjoy life the most when I take it one day at a time. I was also active in the Church for 30+ years, served a mission, etc. I can't get any of that time back, but I have today. Today has been a good day. :)

There's a whole world out there. I don't need to go after my friend's ex-wife. ;)

Yes, Liam is almost eight, and I'm preparing for the onslaught of comments about how he won't be baptized. lol Like he would even be interested in something as nutso as Mormonism. You should see what he wrote on his whiteboard last night.

Red rum is just murder spelled backwards.

Be ware!

No, he's going through a Jesus WTF? phase. He says "Jesus says to do this." and "Jesus says to do that." So, he wrote a message on his whiteboard for me to see this morning:

Jesus says,
* "Get dressed."
* "Go to the racquetball court."

He would laugh his ass off if he ever read the Book of Mormon.

I have looked through FB for old friends, and roommates, and they are clearly TBM. It makes me sick.

I have friends from college that I was sure would leave the Church, and here they are 20 years later fully entrenched Mobots. Ugh.

Once I clicked on a FB link on RfM to “Overheard at BYU”, and saw a former friend’s daughter. Another former roommate also has a daughter there who is now on a mission.

I would have been extremely disappointed if the acquaintance who left had stayed, because he was smarter, and questioned more than my other friends. The others still disappoint, but I hope the count will go up to two, then three....

Didn't we meet some years ago IRL in San Diego? Maybe I was stoned, but I swear.... I remember Liam.

Although meeting you would be a blast, Ron. I've never been to any ex-Mormon get-togethers. We've talked in chatrooms though.

I thought so. Salamanders? Social? Somewhere.

I was on exmo-social briefly when it first started.

Hoo boy.

;o)