Sarcasm, in case you hadn't figured it out.

Aye, they flare me up for the first few minutes, but then I figure they are probably a troll. If it is somebody I know, I just step away and ignore the response. If I need to defend myself, then I do.

I have. You may remember a hormonal overreaction from me a week or so ago... :)

I have problems with never responding right in the moment. I am either overly calm when I should be upset or angry, or overly angry over something that seems small.

I read a book that was recommended to me, "The Dance of Anger" by Harriet Lerner. One of the points she makes is that we, as women, don't want to be a "bitch." So we swallow down angry feelings and get walked all over.

Eventually all of that anger gets vomited out as an overreaction. Then we feel guilty for overreaction and being the bitch, so we start all over again swallowing our feelings down.

Eventually we are so backwards that we don't even know how we feel about things, we fall completely out of touch with our emotions.

I read this book years ago, and I recognize it when I am not reacting properly, but I have some work to do still as far as reacting properly in the moment. It is really bad sometimes, like a few months ago my husband was really upset about something, and I couldn't stop myself from laughing. As you can imagine, that did not help the situation...

As Mormon females, we get so turned inside out and upside down that eventually we don't even know ourselves.

And a perfect explanation. Thanks!

Some of it might be PTSD or Autism.
My autisic friend when hearing of something awful that happened to a family member said "I don't feel anything right now, but I know in a couple of months I'd like to look for the man's brains with an ax, so I'm glad he's going to jail".

Sometimes people can't be angry when they need to be so they will blow up when it is 'safe'.

My child was thrown out of a roll over van accident in front of me. (It was dark and I saw the lights ahead make a circle)
When I got to the scene I did triage. Stabilized everyone, got the van off the highway, arranged for my DD to drive my car home, got a ride behind the ambulance to the hospital etc.

A few months later my son walked in the house with a tiny scratch/bruise (size of a dime) and I came unglued, cried, held him close and wouldn't let go for awhile. I'd never gotten emotional during that whole car wreck months before. I had to be strong and safe. Later, a scratch, set me into orbit.

Sometimes people get very angry at people who cut them off in traffic because they feel life is cutting them off and they can scream at the asshat who behaves badly when driving.

I'm guessing that over emotional responses to no offence at all would be included....if so, yes...many, many, many, many, many times from my ex-wife while we were married and a few after the divorce. The last over emotional response for no offense (8 years ago) landed her in jail for a weekend, in a diversion program for a year, and a 99 year no contact order between us applied to her by a judge.......hasn't helped much, but at least I don't have to be around it anymore.

My current wife (ex-mo) has done it a few times in 6 years, she saw a counselor twice, we talked a lot for a few days, figured out her triggers from past experiences, and it seems to be resolved. At least with my wife, I know we can discuss and act like rational, kind and loving adults when things do come up, so the fear isn't even there really with her....and she is in the thick of menopause...so kudo's to her:)

I mean like, something goes wrong and this person's response is so over the top it actually frightens me.

He frightens me.
He's crazy over the top.

Yes, things are going wrong for him but he's blaming everyone else. And his ranting is out of control.


K

PTSD and depression can both cause overreactions, especially when the individual is already under an unusual stress load and you add one more thing. I have both PTSD and depression (the depression predating the PTSD), but I am also very emotionally disciplined. I don't get upset over things that "healthier" people would freak out over -- unless I'm under severe stress already, and then I nearly fall apart.

I think there was another thread recently about the possibility of the church causing PTSD. I can definitely see how someone who has been abused by the church might end up with a lower threshold for stress.

I find I overreact to things that are symbolic of underlying issues.

I can go off the deep end at something because it's representative of other things.

Reent example was my nephew sending me a chain email, religious in nature, hate mongering kind of thing for other beliefs. I came unglued. It wasn't the email per se, as he thought (though that alone was worthy of my anger), but rather the fact that I've told him numerous times to NOT send me such things. His disrespect for my wishes was the real issue. The religious crap was bad enough, though. Last straw kind of thing.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/09/2011 10:08PM by lostinutah.

Wine Country Girl:

By "over the top" and "it actually frightens me", what do you mean, exactly?

Is this an elderly person, and you are worried that these are signs of possible dementia, or stroke?

Is this a co-worker or neighbor, close in proximity to you, with actual possibility or propensity for harm to you (or others)?

Is this a spouse, or immediate family member, with whom you interact closely every day, and in whom you see frightening or troubling changes that you cannot explain?

Histrionics over things other people would shrug off, or extreme control of minute, seemingly insignificant events, matters or procedures; "bad" or "weird" or "inappropriate" reactions to minor social things might mean minor problems with a personality disorder, or a transient/temporary event causing depression, etc.

But "over the top" and "scares me" being used in the same sentence is troubling, to me.

So would be "depression", "not acting normally", and "very angry about nothing", if used about the same person.

They might need help. So might you.

Can you explain?

It's probably left over from when my son (mentally ill) would yell and get angry.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/10/2011 10:30AM by wine country girl.

Ahh, got it now.

My dad's an alcoholic, mom was a screamer, nephew's a schizophrenic. 'Nuff said.

I'm sorry. I hope you are finding ways to feel better now.

Others have said it, but I'll say it again. It could possibly be PTSD or anxiety/panic attacks. If it's limiting your life, or leaving you unable to function properly, get help for it.

Take care of yourself, and good luck.

I just wanted to mention that I had been on an allergy drug for a few years, and for some reason last year it literally made me crazy.

I could not handle very small things that I'd been dealing with easily for years, and I had a few blow-ups at work with people I normally have a very good relationship with, over things were not a big deal at all.

Just another angle to approach it with.