I am a stay-at-home mother but today I needed my teens to be latchkey kids as I had to do a whirlwind errand of picking up a relative at the airport and then ferrying him way up north. I left a key for my high schooler so he could get in and let in my two middle schoolers. This never happens. I am always home.

Well, my high schooler let himself in and then decided to be irresponsible and take off with a friend. He locked up the house and left. I could not reach my kids on the phone when I called to check on them and this made me very nervous so I drove home as fast as I could from the nursing home where I was taking my uncle.

I get home to find my son standing on the lawn and a very tall Mormon missionary standing on my porch. They were both staring at the house. I got out of my car and approached and the missionary said that "they were just walking by" and "saw Dylan here" locked out. I looked in a 360 circle and saw one missionary and two mountain bikes. I hope the look on my face said "And where the hell is your companion" because the next thing I knew, the other one comes out from MY BACKYARD. After I thanked them for standing with Dylan, feeling strangely like I was on the spot, or in trouble with the police or something, I sent them on their way, I asked my son how long they had been there and what in the world they were doing in my backyard. He said that they had asked him if he wanted them to help him get in and Dylan probably just shrugged, knowing him. They then tried to open my living room windows and then Missionary #2 helped himself to the backyard, doing God knows what, looking in my windows.

I don't know. This seems inappropriate. I'm mad at my son for setting this situation up by leaving the middle schoolers to be locked out and mad at myself for thinking he wouldn't but should some strange 19 year old boys who don't know me be trying to open my windows and trespassing in my fenced backyard? They actually live two doors down in the home of an elderly member couple who have been taking them in for about two years now.

They asked if I would like them to come back some other time to "hear a message" and I said no, that I already had received their message.

They probably thought they were being really helpful, AND trying to get in your windows was probably a lot more exciting than whatever else they were supposed to be doing. I wouldn't call going in your backyard trespassing if he was already talking to your son and trying to help. Of course it's still weird behavior, but I don't know what else you can expect from a couple 19-year-olds.

I was a latchkey kid, although my mom was a teacher and got home pretty soon after us. I had my own key and there was a spare hidden in the yard. I would have been locked out all the time if I had to rely on my older sister to let me in! :)

Yeah, I'm thinking they were just being 19. I used to have really snoopy, tattley Mormon neighbors and I guess I get defensive when I find strange Mormons in my yard. It's been a stressful day!

Since they're kind of your neighbors, I see no harm done, though I admit it's just the same old Mormon boundary issue.

It seems the missionaries were just trying to help, no sense getting mad at them.

You had one of those days where you did your best but not everything went like clockwork, it happens in life.

Take a nice relaxing bath. After everyone gets a good night's sleep things will look better.

...but neither do I think that it was that far out there. They were just trying to help a neighbor.

All your kids need their own keys and to know where an emergency spare is located. They are more than old enough. Many kids carry their keys on lanyards.

I would give your high-schooler additional chances and opportunities to practice responsibility and trustworthiness. Let him make his mistakes now in a relatively protected environment with your guidance and feedback.

Remind your kids that strangers dressed like mormon missionaries are no more trustworthy than any unknown guys wandering through a neighborhood.

I'm glad it all worked out for you and your kids. You're a good parent and I'm proud of you for that.

Remove the words Mormon and missionary from your tale. They are irrelevant here.

You arrived home to find two relative strangers (people you've seen before but who are not your friends, or even well-known to you) in your front and back yards.

These relative strangers, two of them, both older and larger than your son, are 19 year old adults. And they have ulterior motives for being on your property and communicating with your son.

They, instead of encouraging your son to call you, or his dad, or another responsible adult known to him, instead decide to help him break into a house that is not theirs. Or, technically, his.

They proceed to try to do this. Note that THEY do it. Your son stands in the yard and does not participate.

Their own rules say they can't enter the home of a single woman, or take a ride from a strange man while they're out proselytizing others, because of the appearance of sin or a sense of inappropriateness, if they do.

But them thinking that entering your house--not thru an open door, at your invitation--was more than okay with them?

That is weird and off-putting. Inappropriate. Not right.

I don't care if what they wanted in the end is his soul, or your dvd player. Their motives for being there and doing what they did were not simply "let's help this kid out, out of the goodness of our hearts."

I would expect different behavior from someone held out to others as an example of a responsible adult.

Like, "Here's a cell phone; see if you can call your mom (or that nursing home) and let's see what she says we should do here." Or maybe, "Hang tight and wait for your siblings here on your own front porch; come get me/call me if you need me. I'll be next door."

If these two young men, 19 years old, are too young to know how to react similarly in simple matters such as these, or are too immature to be given a cell phone they can be trusted to use responsibly, wth are they doing out roaming the streets as the face of the LDS church?

While I don't think you need to make a federal case out of this with them, and you do need to have a talk with your son about his own lack of responsibility in this incident, I too find this somewhere between "weird" and "hair standing up on the back of the neck" on the standard Mom is Freaking Out scale.

I'm neverMo, and a mom, if that helps.

If kids had been waiting outside for many hours with no way of reaching parents, passerby strangers could have contacted neighbors or police. Never should they break into a home.

I'd rather have two missionaries in the yard talking to my kid than to punk-assed n'er do goods with hats on sideways and pants on the ground. But that's just me.

Ron

instead of squeaky-clean innocent missionaries.

I wouldn't be too upset about the missionaries. They want to steal your soul, not your property. I'm sure their 19-year-old brains thought they were doing the right thing.

I had a key to my house from the time I was 12-13 years old. My dad worked shift work and my mom stayed at home, but there were times I would come home from a friend's house and find the doors locked because mom had gone to the store and dad was either downstairs sleeping or hadn't gotten home from work yet.

I haven't given my kids keys, but I have a keypad garage door opener so they can get in through the garage. If you kids are old enough to stay home for an hour or two by themselves then they should have a way into the house.

Time all your kids had a key to the hosue, or one left outside hidden (ours was always under a flowerpot in the garage), or get one of those locks that uses a numerical sequence to open the door. I think the missionaries were just trying to help out in a way consistant with a uncorrupted 19 year old brain. I prolly would have done the same thing at that age, but certainly not now.

They only wanted to help. Big deal.

The reality is that they put a child at risk by teaching him that he needs to turn to possibly untrustworthy strangers passing through the neighborhood and not well known neighbors, friends, or officials. A normal adult wanting to help would have asked the child about these options and offered support to get this appropriate help. Breaking into a stranger's home would be out of the question.

The mishies put themselves at risk because a home owners might righfully have them arrested for this bad behavior.

And they put the church at risk of a lawsuit because of its deep pockets and being responsible for not training and supervising missionaries as would be done by more credible organizations.

The road to hell is paved with you know what? Good intentions.

Others have addressed the missionary issue, so I'm not going to bother with that. I just wanted to say that if your kids are old enough to be home alone, they are old enough to have keys. Period. I'd rather my kid had a key on his/her person than have to worry about whether the other kid stuck around to let him in. My parents gave me my first key at age 6, complete with a wooden keychain with my name carved into it. I never lost or misplaced it. I knew where that key was at all times until we moved 7 years later.

Keys for the kids is a win for everybody: Your high-schooler can take off with his friends without a problem, your middle schooler is assured of a way in, and you don't have to come home in the middle of the day to check on everybody.

If you're worried about your kids losing their keys, here's a solution:

Pick one door to be "their" door, and change the locks. It's not too difficult to do yourself. $50 at Home Depot will buy you a set that includes doorknobs, a deadbolt, and 4 keys, which should be enough for both kids plus a spare for you. Installation requires 10-30 minutes and a screwdriver. If one of the kids ever loses a key, you only have one door to worry about- just replace the locks again and take the cost out of that kid's allowance. That will be a natural consequence and a memorable lesson for him.

Just puttin' that out there.

I would expect a neighbor to see what they could do to help my minor child get into his house. I don't have a problem with that if the neighbor is just "doing a good deed" and trying to protect a child. In this case, two big strapping missionaries might be a good protection to a long child who could have been abducted.

Also, have a backup plan if things do go according to schedule. But, knowing kids, that doesn't always work either.
Their brains are not done yet! :-) They are still cookin!

Kids can get into the most incredible mischief in just 10 minutes of a messed up schedule. Kids are not prefect little robots. Not by a long shot.

Looks like everything went OK.

Give the kids their own keys, even if you are normally home, or have one hidden.
The problem with hidden keys, as I know all too well, is getting them back in the hiding spot!!

They were just trying to be good neighbors and lend a hand to a kid who was locked out.

It is better then them calling the cops and having you explain why your minor child was locked out of the house.

Take some comfort knowing those Mormon Missionaries would probably lay down their life protecting your kid from harm.

I haven't heard of such cases and have never heard anyone make such a claim or express that expectation. Is this a teaching at the MTC? Is there doctrine about this in mormon sources. Have there been current cases to back up the claim? If so, we need to hear about it here.

would have done.

I am a notorious apostate anti-mormonism. But I am not anti-mormon.

On my mission on more then one occasion we protect children from beatings and from drunks with machetes as well as abusive husbands from beating their wives.

It is what a good human would do, it has nothing to do with them being a mormon. But if those missionaries were nice enough to stay with the kid they would insure no harm would come to him.

"those Mormon Missionaries would probably lay down their life protecting your kid from harm"


That sounds remarkably like mormon faith-affirming blather.
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When I first read the above, I immediately had an image in my mind: Mitt Romney prancing around France in an expensive suit, probably prepared, in his own mind, to lay down his life for the Lord, or the nearest citizen in need.

But somehow that grand impulse didn't translate into the obvious action: military service with his fellow citizens in the war.

They did nothing wrong. In fact, they were trying to HELP. The intent does matter. Maybe they didn't go about it the best way, but there was nothing malicious in their actions. Just two bored kids, who were probably thrilled to actually help somebody as opposed to their regular schedule of pure monotony.

If missionaries break into private homes, they need to go to jail like anyone else.

Tourists in Temple Square are confronted for inadvertenly saying the wrong thing or wearing something mormons don't like. Their intent means nothing. And that's an area open to the public, not private or locked.

I can only provide data for myself.... decades ago, I would have done just that. I can only assume that many other former missionaries would have stepped up to protect others....as would other missionaries of other religious persuasions.

Oh, and I did have a Irish catholic pull a knife and put it to my throat as he did not appreciate our message, so, Cheryl, don't put us all down as cowards as you just did.

But no thanks for the unfounded insult. You claiming that I put "all of you down" is a false and hostile accusation.

any harm to those kids while under their care?

How about a shout out? Who would protect and make sure those kids were protected at all cost?

I would have and so would every single companion I ever had.

I'm with Cheryl and the OP on this. Those 20-something boy-men were in the neighborhood expressly, and soley, to proselytize.

What happened in the OP's yard looks to me like more of the same old LDS sideshow: insinuate yourself into someone's life, ingratiate yourself to them, and then cajole them into listening to, and God-willing, accepting the "message".

The foundation of the whole enterprise is nothing more admirable than manipulation. The mishies are manipulated by their "church" and they in turn manipulate the citizens they encounter.


In my book, manipulators are not engaged in an honorable pursuit, regardless of what ill-understood "intent" motivates them.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/10/2011 03:54PM by 3X.

To quote the OP:

"They actually live two doors down in the home of an elderly member couple who have been taking them in for about two years now."

What's more immoral...

Two lads trying to help someone or,

Leaving your middeschool child alone on the front lawn...

Oh my.... there you go again.

Illegal.....definitely not. Any police officer dropping by would have understood the attempt to help the neighbor kid, who lived in that house. The cops may have sent the missos on their way, but no arrests.....no illegal intent.

Immoral..... perhaps, but only in the eye of the beholder. The groups of posts above seem to be somewhat evenly split on that part of the issue.....certainly not as cut and dried as presented. Even so, "immoral" is somewhat of a stretch.

As for "unfounded insult", please reread your post. But, I'll bite....what exactly were you trying to say? Maybe I misread your intent....

On second thought, I am taking a long break from this constant bickering...there has to be a better way to waste my time...adieu