Jebus wants me for a pickle;
With bumps so round and cute.
In every way I'm a pickle,
Your taste buds I can suit.

A pickle, a pickle;
Jebus wants me for a pickle.
A pickle, a pickle;
A gerkin for Jebus I am!


Just shoot me, please.

Ron

lol

Give said the Mormon Church
Give oh give
Give oh give
Give said the Mormon Church as it spent it on the Mall
You're poor, we know, but we still need your dough,
We're gonna need it all.
"Cleaning cleaning all the day, give a-way, oh give a-way"
"Cleaning cleaning all the day, give oh give a-way"

Wow, these songs paint a very bitter picture. Does someone need a hug timeout (or maybe a heartfelt testimonkey)?

Lol

I did type it with a grrrrrrrr

Great! Now just what are you supposed to hold when you sing that little dittie?

I'm sure Ron has a view ideas. *raised eyebrows*

Mine's a zucchini, but whatever. LOL

My kids used to sing it "Jesus wants me for a bunseam" play on words, means "butt crack". My kids are the shits. :)

Ron

ExMormonRon Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Mine's a zucchini, but whatever. LOL
>
> My kids used to sing it "Jesus wants me for a
> bunseam" play on words, means "butt crack". My
> kids are the shits. :)
>
> Ron

Sure. Big words ususally mean a little....pickle?!

It's not the length of the lance, Punkin', it's the magic in the wand. :)

Ron

>>>>>>>>>>>
Put your Brillo to the bowl, scrub around
Hum some hymns and grin,like a clown

Let no one shirk
Stake Prez & Jebus says "WORK!"
Put your Brillo to the bowl...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


The thinking may have been done but the cleaning hasn't!
Get to work Bro.& Sis.Slave! Your blessings are predicated on
how white and delightsome that throne becomes.

Book of Mormon Stories that my teachers told to me
Are utterly ridiculous, way out there fantasies
Book of Mormon Stories say that we must robots be
Ignoring what we must to believe

Smart Mormons met others who had found their liberty
Exmo's who shared their knowledge so that others could be free
Book of Mormon stories say judge others ruthlessly
In this church, if we live self-righteously

We want to Profit, we want to Profit, we want to Profit so tithing you must pay.

Pay Mr. Profit, pay Mr. Profit, pay Mr. Profit then be on your way!

Our primary colors are one, two, three
Red, yellow and blue
Each one has to do with the church, you'll see
Each is a symbol too

Red is for tithing that bleeds you to death
We'll tax your income until your last breath
Give up your ten percent

Yellow's for cowards who hide behind guards
Live in steel towers with bullet-proof cars
These are your presidents

Blue is the way that you'll feel when you're told
You'll never have all the titles they hold
Their rank was heaven sent

With primary colors, we've learned a lot
Red, yellow and blue
The Lord wants a piece of whatever you've got
Give the church what He's due

ok I'm not as good as you guys but here's a shot...(and yes I guess I'm obsessed with Follow the Prophet, I loathe that song)

Joe Smith was a Profit he liked to feel good,
Got little girls to marry him even got them nude.
He taught 'bout polygamy practiced it himself,
Who knew the church would cover it and put it on the shelf.

Rock peeping Profit, Sex seeking Profit, Run away Profit,
You'll go to jail.
Follow the Profit, Joe Smith the Profit, Follow the Profit,
One horny male.

Brigham was a Profit he taught about hell,
Said if you are naughty others should come tell.
Then he'd send his Danites out to get the kill,
And if you don't like it you just have to deal.

Bigotist Profit, Adam-God Profit, Blood Atonement Profit,
Mouth runs amuck.
Follow the Profit, Brigham the Profit, Follow the Profit,
They wish they'd shut you up!

Sung to the tune or I Never Picked Cotton by Roy Clark.

I never wore garmies

But my mother did and my sister did and my brothers did
and my daddy did too...workin' at the temple.

I never wore garmies

Couldn't make me do, couldn't force me to and fuuuuuck you too. I'm proud to be an apostate!


It's a work in progress. I think Jon's ditty is my favorite. It sums up the brainwashing of primary and SS.