I've recently discovered that the LDS church is a farce. My ex-wife and I have been basically rotating custody of our 6 y/o son...and I'll have him for the next few years starting in June. She is still a hardcore tbm and is constantly harassing me about if I'm going to church and when I'll start becoming worthy to baptize him in the future. I don't know how to break it to her that I think the church is a detrimental force. I'm married to a catholic now, so my son has been exposed to different views about religion. He asked me recently which is true. I told him that each has elements of truth, but no religion has all truth. He said "that's what I thought...in testimony meeting, if I didn't have stage fright, I would say that they are all liars because they don't have time machines and so they don't know it's true.". He obviously has hope, but I don't know how much to tell him about tscc and I don't know how to approach her about it. I don't want my son brainwashed...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/14/2011 08:08PM by lostmystic.

Put her off until you're ready to tell her he won't be attending a mormon church and baptism will be his decision when he's of age.

Kids are smart. Keep exposing him to the rest of the world and he will figure it out on his own - just like you did!

Slowly tell him things about the Mromon church that caused you to doubt. Tell him no one has to be baptised unless they want to. NO ONE including a parent should force kids on that issue. Tell him many churches wait til a kid is 11 or 12...I was. And also tell him that you know more when you are older...like in middle school. Tell him many people pressure you to do things and think certain ways but you have decided to use your own brain to think for yourself. Tell him you hope he will not be a follower of those who don't know what they are talking about- but just go on "following".

I would also tell him downt he road a bit how in the Mormon religion many people do things to please a parent or grandparent. Tell him you won't be involved in any pressure.I would be as easy on him as possible. And of course he is getting the hard sell from your ex-wife. He may really appreciate your style. Good luck. I hope only for the best for the little guy.

I teach kids that age. They will believe anything (unfortunately) now. At school a girl (all A student ) spread a rumor that a boy had a knife in his pocket. Well that went all through the lunchroom and after about 2 and a half hours we found out this little girl was who started it. She even told our principal her dad saw it... so the principal (knowing that wasn't true) called him with the girl present.You can imagine the Dad on the other end. It was quite a day. So I tell you this just to impress on you it makes no difference how bright a kid is or how needy he is....so many children fall for lies told by others.

My advice has nothing to do with church but with your child. Unfortunately, the LDS (as looney and f...ing crazy as some of them are) do emphasize family. Is your child the grand prize or do you both want a stable environment for him? OK, so I will give advice about the church. Keep him out of it if possible and fight for custody with her only having visitation rights. Your child needs to know what his future is. Kids being shuffled here and there only leads to problems later unless your kid is so exceptional that he defies all odds.

...would telling the truth to your wife complicate your custody arrangement? If you think it might, my advice would be to consult with your lawyer before you proceed.

But assuming that it would not, I'd just be honest with her. Tell her that you won't be baptising your son because you no longer believe. And that your preference would be that your son not be baptised into any faith until he is eighteen and can fully decide on his own (with the understanding that when your son is with your wife, he will be attending her church.)

If you want, you can write a letter to the bishop in your wife's ward forbidding your son's baptism (which might or might not be effective.)

I think that you're doing a great job of explaining things to your son so far. I think that you can maintain an attitude of respect for your ex's faith, while at the same time pointing out areas where you disagree. At the age of six, most of his questions will likely be simple ones, anyway.

Thanks so much for y'alls advice so far. I guess I'll take a gentle approach with him. As far as the custody issue, it's open custody, but I've had him for the vast majority of his life, except a portion of this school year. My ex and I are on friendly terms, so we left it open. However, she is about as much of an unquestioning tbm as one can imagine, so I'm afraid of how she will react and what lengths she might go to in order to keep him in the church's clutches. I don't know what to expect...Mormons turn on ex-mormons quick and with finality...