Anon: I am sure you love your mom but she sounds a bit poisonous. She seems to be using you to prop herself up instead of wishing for your happiness above all. The latter is more normal (and healthy) for a parent.

Don't be hard on yourself for finding this very, very difficult. On the other hand, after any mission there will be new demands such as for you to marry and have children soon, and you won't necessarily find it easier then to refuse her and others.

Is there a social volunteer program in your area that would take you on for a year and house you as well (in the UK or overseas)? Is there an elderly person whose house you can share in return for driving them to appointments and social life and taking care of the house? Ask at local senior service centers. Run an ad.

Anon, do you have a passport? If not, apply for one now and for a student visa for Germany. You can get a free university education in Germany and all the coursework is conducted in English. Here's what a Google search turned up:

http://www.google.com/search?q=Germany+free+university&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a

Since you're working and are saving money you could make a go of this for a while. Something to think about.