He's been home for a couple of weeks now. Things are great. The letters I wrote week after week have payed off. He still wants to go to BYU and he left to attend the singles ward a few minutes ago but it isn't as bad as it sounds.

Last night we had a great, long conversation about petty dictators in the church. He related experiences from his mission and so did I. He listened while I told him some of the story of why I left the church. I then thanked him for listening because nobody else in the family ever has.

We moved on to control mechanisms the church uses and how they guilt people. The one example I used was my daughters Patriarchal Blessing that promises I'll return to the church if she is faithful and diligent and loves me enough. I explained that when I don't return to church she will have to assume it's her own fault for not being righteous enough.

He related a few stories of over zealous Zone Leaders making stupid demands on him as the district leader. He told them "no".

Then we put in a movie - Pineapple Express- and laughed till we nearly peed our pants(yes, I have a stunted sense of humor too).

Wahoo, my son hasn't shunned me.

Stunted.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/20/2011 01:46PM by Stunted.

Sounds like a good reentry experience for you both. Good to see you post.

Good to hear.

I don't like the BYU thing, but maybe that'll push him over the edge.

However, if he does attend BYU, my only advice is that he attends and tries to get an associates degree as the short term goal.

If he likes the place then getting the full BS/BA degree is fine, but if he hates it - it's sometimes better in the long run to graduate with an associates and then transferring rather than running the risk of having a lot of credits "not count" at another university.

I'm also very happy that you two have been able to talk open and honestly.

That is so cool you two actually got to talk openly about things. In my life I literally can't say anything without my parents taking a Gospel look at it. "Oh you didn't well in a college course? It's probably because you don't go to church anymore."

I've also gone to BYU, and I feel comfortable saying the experiences can really vary. I had friends who swore, went to church like 3 times a semester just to get the Ecclesiastical Endorsement, and were just chill guys, and I've also met people who have a stick up their butt 24/7. So I hope he's gonna be living with some friends he already has or that he gets lucky with his random roommates.

It's also awesome you bonded over Pineapple Express. If I ever have kids I want to be close enough to watch movies like that with them when they're of age.

About the BYU thing....I asked him about it and he was pretty up front about the female population being his primary consideration. He has a scholarship to UVU so If YBU doesn't at least match it he may end up there instead simply for economic reasons. I'm not sure it's that much better, but at least he wouldn't have to deal with ecclesiastic endorsements and the honor code crap.

A couple of nights ago we watched Zombie land. We're still quoting lines at each other. Any other suggestions for movies he missed? So far we've watched the following:

Avatar, Tangled, Toy Story -whatever the last one was, The Blind Side, The Proposal... I'm sure there were a few others. Recommendations are welcome.

Stunted

If you and he wanted to go and see a movie, Lincoln Lawyer is good. It's interesting. Love the blind side(Ole Miss grad, here)

Here's a quick list for now.

And that female population is funny - potentially dangerous though. If he wants to get married young and to a stranger - yikes. But let him know that there is nothing wrong with dry humping, and that the spirit likes to watch.

You should watch:

I love you Man

Tropic Thunder

Step Brothers

Knocked Up

40 Year Old Virgin

Taladega Nights

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

(These are roughly all by the same people. All great though.) For Comedies. That's what popped off the top of my head.

If he's a nerd like me, make sure he sees Iron Man 1 and 2, Batman Begins and the Dark Knight. Kick Ass, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. District 9.

Add "The Hangover" to that.

One of the funniest movies I've seen in the las 2 years.

Oh God, Pineapple Express! *That's* the role Franco should have been nominated for.

Good stuff, stunted.

(By the way, and forgive me for asking and not remembering, but were you the one who posted a clip of your daughter and yourself singing a song? If so, enjoyed that. Good dad=nice family.)

And that's the daughter with the PB promise of me coming back to church. Breaks my heart.

I missed it the first time! Repost the link, please?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wi5nRAykj8

She's still a total TBM but we have a great time playing music. Another guy sits in regularly and we've even played at a couple of wedding receptions.

I sometimes wonder if she hangs out with me only to fulfill her PB blessing. I'm pretty sure she'd still love me even if she wasn't instructed to by the old fart patriarch but sometimes I wonder. Doncha just love the way the church has to be the center of every relationship?

Stunted.

There have been three new actors in the series so far and I've loved every one -- although David Tennant is definitely my new favorite. (That man can ACT!)

You can watch them on demand if you have Netflix.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 03/20/2011 02:24PM by Rebeckah.

daughter's PB. The last bishop (and others) made it my daughter's job to save the family. Nearly drove her over the edge and I know it still 'gnaws' at her--but she lives out of state most of the year and I think it helps not to have our salvation staring her in the face daily.

I'm glad to hear it is going well with your son.

My oldest called it "scrotum welding" (as opposed to male bonding) when we had that talk. :)

Gotta love those kids.

Ron