I wrote to this forum last week about my girlfriend recently joining the Mormon Church. She thinks that BYU is the greatest school and she is a single mother. I went onto there website and took a look at there honor code. I can't believe that anyone would agree to it and think that it is ethical to run a college under such rules. They tell you how to dress, cut you hair, etc! It seems like it is more of a police state! Does anyone have any experience with either attending BYU or there children? I am going to show her the honor code and ask her of she thinks that it is ethical to impose that on others. I could NEVER send my child to college or any institution where they weren't allowed to freely express who they are. It is very scary how powerful the church is and how many people blindly follow there rules. If she defends the honor code and the way in which the church expects there young adults to live there life she is too far gone and I think I have to leave! Reminds me of living in a police state. SCARY STUFF!

Almost any religion-owned school has rules of that sort. If you think she is going too far find another girl friend.

So do all our Military Academies..USMA, USNA, USAFA and CGA..they all tell you how to dress and then when you can eat and when you may speak and what to say.

But you don't need to go them...same with BYU

stormy

I like Midwestern and Eastern Private Universities the best.

minus the coffee and tea restrictions. It is just as destructive. Read here

http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2011/03/30/the-secret-sex-lives-of-spu-students

One student mentions that the higher ups can dismiss you, or charge a fine on allegations, no evidence need be produced.

I endured BYU because I didn't know better and I was brainwashed. Now I feel like I could have made a much better choice for undergraduate education than I did when I was 18 and stuck in the bubble.

Good luck with your relationship, that's got to be difficult situation. It will be difficult for her to see anything but good in anything endorsed by LDS inc until the honeymoon is over. You may be able to shorten the length of the honeymoon, or you may be fighting an uphill battle. Anyway, best of luck to you.

i remember reading a College in Orlando that stated that black males could shave their heads..but not white!! WTF??? oy vay!! the religulas!!!

A lot of "institutions" have dress codes. Think of the military, they've tried to do some crazy shit with not allowing tattoos and making people get them removed if they show in their uniform. I'm not sure if that's how it is now but I heard they tried to pass something like that...

Some of those rules don't look as problematic as they really are, too.

For example, if you are a member or a convert, and don't attend church often enough, or otherwise tick off your bishop, he can threaten to take away your ecclesiastical endorsement. No endorsement, no school.

That almost happened to me and my spouse because I had a number of health issues after having our first child. We were both 100% believers at the time.

Not sure how it is now, but those ecclesiastical endorsements can be forged. I know one student who did that and I'm sure many did the same. With it common for students to move apartments it's hard to correlate everything, especially with 30K students sending the forms in every year. It's my understanding that the student employees of the Honor Code simply just click a checkbox that this year's form was filed.

If a problem ever does come up they'll pull out the form and guilt you about how you gave your word of honor that you would never leave the chalk circle. :P

a school voluntarily? Good luck on never sending your kid to an institution with a dress code. I guess high school, the military and nearly every company on Earth are not in his or her future.

I attended school in the UK but as far as I can tell from chatting with those who attended one of the BYUs there's precious little free choice in attending BYU - family pressure is too great.

"You can have any color cherub as long as it's black".

Most BYU students want to be there. A significant percentage would prefer to go somewhere else but settle for BYU for financial reasons. Even if pressured by family, a student who goes there is ultimately going there and staying there voluntarily.

My point is that dress codes are not unethical.

My son is kinda on the fringes of the church and attended BYU. He still says it is the most amazing place on earth. And he loved the honor code !! go figure---

I got to attend YBU the second year women were allowed to wear blue jeans! I am a convert and went there for my last two years of college. I just played the honor code game and concentrated on my studies to deal with the breed 'em young bullshit mentality. But I sure as hell was glad when I left the campus for a D. C. seminar before I graduated. When I drove across the state line into Colorado, I literally pulled my car off to the side of the road, got out and yelled, "I'M BACK IN REALITY!"

I understand and agree with those who say "if you go to BYU, you have to live by the honor code." The problem I have with this code is that it is used when and if the church wants to apply it.
On a personal note, I married a BYU graduate. During her Junior year she had an affair with a Humaities professor (TWM)and became pregnant. When she went to the professor, surprise, he sent her off to have an abortion and said he could not risk HIS career OR family. She needed to GO AWAY. When she talked to her stake president and bishop, they too said she needed to "take care of HER problem and not cause waves at the school or in the church". She and I were friends and I knew of this situation from the start and have supported her all along.Years later we found out that this professor (TWM) had slept with several other coeds, kind of a coed of the semester club and his actions were brought to light by a couple of the women. BYU removed the professor from teaching classes, BUT moved him to the Maxwell Institution to write and do research for the university, thus allowing him to stay and receive his "retirement". He was bound by the same honor code as was she....The university allowed her to remain in school and graduate in order to keep the affair with the professor quiet, and not bring "embarrassment on yourself, the university or the church". A few years ago she inquired at BYU as to the status of this situation and was told thay have no information or did they acknowledge anything to do with either her OR the professor. Swept under the table and hidden like so many other truths in the church. She confronted him one day on campus and he said he had no idea of what she might be speaking of. A fellow professor at BYU told my wife the professor(TWM) still denies any involvement with the coeds. Last year my wife received a call from the son of the professor (a SLC attorney) apologizing for his fathers actions. He has apologized to the other women as well we have been told. The way this whole thing was handled by the school and the church changed her views on Mormonism and she left the church never looking back.