Posted by:
eddie
(
)
Date: April 12, 2011 12:42AM
I think the following article is spot on and represents how many on this board have been treated. I made a few wording changes to the following article to show how it applies to adults who bully.
How Adults Bully
The Covert Tactics Used When Adults Bully
When we think of bullying we tend to think of physical violence and outward taunting but when adults bully their tactics are often quiet and covert.
Adults Who Bully Can Be Hard to Recognize
From the outside looking in it can be hard to tell a group of adults who are bullying apart from a group of adults who are innocently standing around. …when adults bully they aren’t so obvious. Adults can be quietly vicious with their victims and others often fail to recognize their behavior as bullying.
The tactics used by adults who bully are distorted versions of some normal mechanisms of social development. …. when adults bully they use things like alienation, ostracism, deliberate and calculated random exclusions, and spreading of rumors to harass their peers.
Adults get others…to gang up on one or more peers as a way of exerting control. Sometimes they incite others… to act out aggressively and sit back to watch the show. They form groups that pick and choose members at random and exclude others without real reason. They form alliances with other social groups in an effort to jockey for popularity and positions of power among peers. All too often the bullying tactics used by adults are brushed off as cruel but normal social interactions.
…many people are slow to recognize things like exclusion and alienation as something sinister. These behaviors are often dismissed as an unfortunate part of the normal formation of peer groups.
… it becomes bullying when those groups make power plays over other groups or individuals. Having friends is one thing; having friends who work to make others feel that they are not good enough to be included is another. Playing the popularity game in a way that causes fear or inadequacy in others is a form of bullying and it is a common tactic used by adults.
Adults Bully in Packs
Sadly, good adults who know better go along with these types of popularity power games for fear of being singled out and cast out of the group. Since others often treat this exclusionary behavior as mere social clashing adults who are caught in the middle are afraid to stand up to the bully. It seems easier to do nothing than it does to do the right thing.
Adults who quietly go along with a bully add to the bully's power by giving victims the illusion that the bully has peer support. The victim feels like everybody is against them, not just the bully. When others do not address exclusionary behavior the same way they would address more traditional forms of bullying it worsens the problem. Adults who know better feel powerless to do the right thing when leaders do not react or even lead the bullying.
Adults bully by using emotional violence. They do things that make others feel alienated and alone.
All part of creating a hostile environment and forcing compliance from others.
http://teenadvice.about.com/od/violencebullying/a/girlbullies.htm