I am sick of my husbands preaching church to me in his arrogant prideful god like glorified priesthood fashion. Ive been depressed all day and just when I think I can leave all you sorry ass ex mormons in the dust and pretend I never took a walk on the Mormon side, here I am again crying to you all about my sorry ass life. I HAVE to recover! It has been 6 whole months already since I withdrew my name! Oh ex brothers and sisters, Im needing words of encouragement that this is going to end! Im a happy person but he sucks the life out of me with this attack mode dogma. I need to overcome it. P.s. Libby, you can ignore my post since my suckafoo name sucks.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 04/12/2011 10:25PM by suckafoo.

Oh honey, you're so cute when you get all churched up like that.

(Ive had a little wine because I'm sad :()

I've had a little wine because it's there...... and can't imagine what you're going through with a tbm hubby preaching to you. But I'm here for YOU. YOU are not alone, suckafoo.

Obviously you have not set YOUR boundaries with him. Can't some items be off limits because YOU want them to be? I would have a good sit down with him. Show your strength....if you don't he will consider you a wimp who will come around and abide by all his wishes in the home. I should think a lot of them have changed in your eyes. Be firm and staqnd tall. Cry if you must, but don't let him think he has gotten to you.

WCG has been there,back and been there again she has the answer.

Please just stay with us and ride the wide wave, at the end is a rainbow.

Life is worth the struggle and you are a person, that deserves a chance to live life at it's fullest.

It's not my fault that the church is not what it claims to be.

Hang in there!

He told me I betrayed him losing my testimony. I know I need to be strong too. He thinks I'm going to come back one day and respects none of my facts or untruths I've found. His lording over me makes me want to barf. I hold no such priesthood/handmaid notions anymore and his way of being I am now finding so repulsive and disturbing. When I see a white shirt and tie in the office I find myself wanting to rub chocolate or coffee on it. No kidding. Ive imagined it. Im in the repulsed stage of recovery. I'm shooting for the kind of recovery of nonchalance to these sudden attacks of know-it-all-ness where I can be completely above them and unphased by it.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 04/12/2011 11:14PM by suckafoo.

I am amazed at the compassion from you on this board. None of you are sorry ass. I take it all back. I'm the sorry ass. The assiest. And you guys are amazing and have gone through so much undeserved crap.

You *betrayed* him by losing your testimony? Well, that's pretty damn self-centered of him. It's so sad you and the entire universe don't order yourselves to his liking. He needs to grow up.

You are evolving. He's not. Just ask RaptorJesus what happens to things that don't evolve!

Oh, dear suckafoo, hang in there. I remember the morning when my then-TBM BIC DH said to me, "If I'd known you were going to question like this, I'd never have married you!"

I was heartbroken. As an adult convert to this fucking cult, I'd *never* considered that the Morg would be more important to him than I am.

Time has passed since that horrible morning, however, and he has since backed off from that statement. I am stronger and his self-righteous penis-holder jabs stopped hurting so much. We are "renegotiating" our marriage, which right now means I don't live with him. May never live with him again, but who knows.

I am hugging you in my heart.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/12/2011 11:21PM by Sorcha.

I knew a sister missionary who, in the worst way you can imagine, just did not want to be there. Told the Mission President who called her into the office. He tried all the usual guilt trip and coercion and bribery ..Still not impressed she clambered over the desk and yanked his tie HARD. She was on the next flight home.

Sometimes you just have to defend YOUR position. Be civil but do not yeild you ground. In the immortal words of Sarah Palin
"Don't retreat --just reload""

JB

Just Browsing Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I knew a sister missionary who, in the worst way
> you can imagine, just did not want to be there.
> Told the Mission President who called her into the
> office. He tried all the usual guilt trip and
> coercion and bribery ..Still not impressed she
> clambered over the desk and yanked his tie HARD.
> She was on the next flight home.
>
> Sometimes you just have to defend YOUR position.
> Be civil but do not yeild you ground. In the
> immortal words of Sarah Palin
> "Don't retreat --just reload""
>
> JB

Great story. That girl had some balls. Is she still in the crutch?

Suckafoo
Sorry your penishood is acting up. I suggest a sharp rap with a spoon. That was the way the old school nurses dealt with men who got erections when they were given a sponge bath. Maybe a baseball bat, instead?

Keep heart. You know the truth. Friends don't let friends do cult.

I have been through much of the same, but DH just became so very mean and abusive I finally asked for divorce.

Not one regret, but the pain and rejection with the kids will always be there. Now priesthood holding papa is the favorite, and I assume he always will be.

My 5 kids are all in their 30's and raising their own families active mormon, so I really am on my own for the rest of my journey on earth.

Somedays I am fine, sometimes I think I am just over it, but lately it has really gotten really bad, and when it is bad with my kids, I come here much more for support and as a safe place to express my anger.

Learning recently that they have been spying on me here for some time now really bugs me, not that I have said anything I regret, or I even care if they hear about, but it is just so very disrespectful of them, as this is MY one safe place, and now they have stuck their noses into my business once again.

And the fact that they some of them have been very angry about my posts and refused to be honest with me as to why is what really makes me mad. I just could not figure it out, and then a couple of weeks one son told me they read my posts on here.

Well, come aboard kids, do your thing if you must, and in the process you may just learn a few very disturbing things about the church you so love.

Oh well, I am movin' on. I would never in a million years go back to the fraud of the mo church, and even through it all, I am happier since I left. I can finally be true to who I really am, and what I really think and believe.

I feel for you though, and do not be surprised if you keep returning time and time again over many years. I left 4 years ago, and I am certainly not recovered yet. I officially resigned 9-9-09, so resignation does not necessarily equal recovery, I know that at least for me it most certainly did not.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/12/2011 11:30PM by think4u.

Think4u, your post really got to me. Your losses are great. I have lost my parents and three siblings to the cult of madness. But I'm lucky my wife is nevermo and my son too. I have a wonderful brother and two sisters to talk to. My other three siblings despise me, as my father has taught them to do. They want his estate, so I don't envy the lot of them.

I am sorry for estrangements. Hold your head up; you are a person of principle.

Please read this book, Suckafoo!: “The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to recognize it and How to Respond,” by Patricia Evans.

Evans has written two other books on related subjects, but I like this one best because it includes (with their permission) the real-life first-person stories of many women who have been in such relationships.

If money is an issue, you don't have to buy the book; your local library either has it or can get a hold of it for you.

I hope you will take this step to gain perspective on the challenges you mention. You are worth it!

Ok. I think I will get a mug and tshirt to go with it that says "verbal abuse sucks" and wear it around.

You're trying to recover from TWO things here: The church, and verbal control/abuse.

And you can't recover from something while still being subjected to it on a regular basis.

I can also recommend Patricia Evans.

And it may be that you just have to learn to set boundaries with your husband. Having been a priesthood holder all of these years may have given him a sense of entitlement he shouldn't have.

You have helped more than you can know. Stay on the board and help people like ypu continue to do. I misposted thd following:


Posted by: suckafoo ( )
Date: April 12, 2011 11:49PM
Re: I'm so sick of him

I am amazed at the compassion from you on this board. None of you are sorry ass. I take it all back. I'm the sorry ass. The assiest. And you guys are amazing and have gone through so much undeserved crap.

Options: Reply•Quote•Follow Topic•Report•Edit

Suckafoo--Do you have children with this man? Do you have a job or a degree? I hope you're in a position to leave if you decide you need to. I have stayed too long in my marriage to my husband who's still a believer. Leave before you're middle-aged and feeling a chance at real love has passed you by. leave before he belittles you that you've little sense of self left. I'm saying this will all my heart. When my youngest graduates in a few years, I will probably walk out the door the next day.

I have a 7 year old. I just cant do it! I cant! I have entertained the idea so many times I just love her so much I cant risk it. I wish I could. Yes, i have a professional salary and can support myself.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/12/2011 11:55PM by suckafoo.

Then post it on the fridge and on the mirror where he shaves!!

The Articles of Faith - #11:
We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.

I'm grateful for my husband who understood this very well and has lived it as he promised!
My advice is not to bring up the LDS Church or Mormonism at all to your husband while he is in the preaching stage. It will just fire him up more.
Ignore him and just repeat the 11th Article of Faith.

You are breaking a pattern. He wants to keep the pattern, it is safe, he is comfortable there. Even though you are trying to do things in a healthier way, he is going to resist at first. If you really love him, stick it out and give him a chance to adjust. If he does not love you or you him, then no amount of waiting in the world will help. Hugs to you.
Piper

"Words" are some of the hardest things to endure. I read the thread today about a young man physically inflicting pain upon himself and now hearing haughty words being spoken to you---damn that Joseph Smith! Keep your chin up, do not believe for a moment that you have any less value because you left the church created by a deluded person.

My TBM ex-wife told me that I had thrown away my eternal family & has pretty much convinced the kids we had together of the same BS! That was nearly 20 years ago.

I think back on that marriage now & just shutter. I was never good enough.

Hang in there - it will get better - one way or the other!

Life is just the best! So much to do & enjoy. Get out there & enjoy nature...me I bought a motorcycle & rode it until I understood. Heck...I'm still riding!

>He told me I betrayed him losing my testimony.

Ask him to put more Christ in his attitude and less arrogant Pharisee.

Just my opinion and I have no experience of abusive relationships.

I don't think it will get better unless you make it get better.
You will have to stand up to him at some point.

'Look honey, I love you but I will not tolerate being berated and preached at by you about a fraudlulent cult. Now, you either drop the subject, period or we are headed to the divorce courts.'

Bullies keep bullying people who allow them to bully.

I have every sympathy with your situation.

But it doesn't sound like he or you are in a situation to use that tactic yet.

Perhaps the guy needs a special gesture to remind him that religion should be off limits for the time being. Would it work to hold up your hand like a traffic cop in an intersection? The meaning would be, "Halt. For the sake of our marriage, let's don't go there."

Individuals change and marriages must adjust to change.

A relationship that doesn't change and mature is stagnant. Anyone who says leaving the church did not change a relationship is deluded or they floated through the experience and let everyone else absorb the changes.

It's tough. I'm sorry you're going through this. Remember it's mormon programming causing this problem.