They have such ulterior motives, as far from what I've seen especially on the young women side. BYC= Bishop youth council(my bad.)

The presidency of the young men, young women, and some leaders gather together to discuss activities. I think the times I've sat in the bishop has been there once. I don't sit in often, as I am the lean to girl to go to these things if the president can't make it. She can't "make it" to these a lot....hmm. Anyways. I remember during BYC meeting, our main focus was on how to get another girl to come to church and activities more. I don't know who this girl is! And it's just kind of irritating, this is why I felt weird when the other girls "invited" me to dances, mind you I provided my own ride, etc, etc... I felt there was something else pressuring them. Behind these BYC meetings is just to plant a false friendship in the person to get them to join the activities. Now this isn't to say they all start out as false friendships, but this is what I've experienced, anyone else have a comment on the matter?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/12/2011 07:46PM by anon123.

People as projects. This is very common and happens all the time.

"All I wanna say is they don't really care about us"

MJ lover forever! You are awesome! I love that song!

Oh, yes!! I was very open with my hate of mormonism the last couple of years I was forced to go. At first, they sent the other young women to befriend me, even though those girls had ignored me most of my life. When that didn't work, they sent the YW leaders. I despised them, so that didn't go over well. Finally, random members would strike up a conversation with me. Most of the time I completely ignored them. They would ask questions about me as if they genuinely wanted to understand me, but by next Sunday, it was another member's turn to be my friend, and they wouldn't even acknowledge me. I finally stopped talking to anyone at church.

How about you guys, were you guys pressured to go to activities by other young men? Even though I understand if not, the young men do all the fun stuff. :(

They were from what would have been our sons Teachers Quorum. They wanted to speak only to him and proceeded to tell him all the fun they've been having and how much they wish he would be there. Then they gave him a schedule of all the youth activities for the next few months.

He was a little rattled, but told them politely thanks for the paper and no, he won't be going.

Over heard:
Won't your parents let you go?
Yes they would let me go if I wanted to.

-stammering noises...okay well, bye...

I'm so proud!

I wonder what the conversation was like once they got into the leaders car.

Good for him!!

When I was in young mens (boy scouts) I would have to call mostly everyone an hour before the activity to encourage them to come. I remember liking going to the activities because they were pretty fun. I didn't like doing the church stuff though. I always didn't like going early to set up the sacrament. Or going to peoples houses on fast sunday asking for money.

Whoever was in the presidency went out of their way to befriend me, but when a new presidency was called, the old presidency hardly spoke to me anymore, and the new presidency started pursuing me. I thought this behavior just came with the callings, but I didn't know they had formal meetings and that you were assigned to them as a project!

The Mormons are training up the daughters to follow in their mothers' footsteps. It is all so fake, and they think we're gullible.

Some Relief Society lady would say to us, "We should go to lunch sometime."

My friend (a divorcee) would say, "Yes, would this Wednesday good for you? I'll pick you up at noon." She would take her little calendar and pen out of her purse, and start writing things down.

It was hilarious to see the shock in the RS lady's face, when she tried to backpedal, "Um, er, well, I'm busy most days, you know...."

Get in there and play their game yourself! Invite them to the community caucuses, or to the high school play, or to donate to the Red Cross, or whatever. Keep insisting they contribute to YOUR causes.

I like that...insist they contribute to YOUR causes or attend your community functions. Feed them their own medicine.

I was the Beehive, Mia-Maid, and then Laurels president when I was in the yw's program (not continuously, but at some point I was all three). The entire 6 years, we were always trying to get these two young women to come to church. We would knock on their door, bring them cookies, talk about them in meetings (gossip), speculate about why they didn't like church, etc. It makes me so angry now that I thought that was okay. The girls made it clear they weren't interested in coming to church, but we wouldn't leave them alone. It wasn't because we wanted to be friends with them, we just wanted them to be active. Makes me sick now.

And I think I mentioned this earlier. I don't know this girl! I think she came to church once and I was gone that day? I wish I knew where she lived(ok that's stalkerish), or at least she would go to seminary once so I could tell her that there is no pressure, at least from me, and being part of the presidency, I would hope that would mean a lot. Now only if I could meet this girl!

Actually it is Bishop's Youth Council FYI. The "youth" equivalent of PEC (priesthood executive committee) meetings. The youth leadership is supposed to discuss activities and such, but also identify "needs" among the flock and consider how to address them. Inevitably (just like in PEC) the discussion may center on problem or troubled individuals, the inactive, the apostates, etc. Too frequently this meeting is the source of hearsay and rumor -- which will often find its amplified way (now that it has been blessed by a discussion among the elites) inappropriately back out to the masses.

why have this forum??? T___T

Why have the Recovery from Mormonism forum?

Because a lot of people who leave Mormonism are deeply hurt and angry and they need friends to support them through their feelings.

Why have a thread about people making "projects" of people?

Because they are working through their feelings about this particular aspect of their former Mormon lives. Some are angry because they were targets of it. Some feel guilty and angry that they participated in it. Some feel other things.

Stick around and read and you'll figure it out if you're willing to open your mind and heart to walk a few miles in someone else's shoes.

Go read the exit stories. That should give you an idea why.

When I was Laurel President they wanted me to get the two inactive girls to come to church and mutual. So, I succeeded in getting these girls to show up more by promising them we could sneak off to smoke joints, which we did many times. My leaders were so proud of me for reactivating these girls. They were unaware of my methods.