I have had a best friend since middle school. There were three of us, two were mormon and one "sara" was not, but sara did everything with us mormons. Chruch dances, girl's camp, mission farewells as we and our friends became that age. She would come and visit me at BYU twice a year. She went to the same college as our other mormon friend and was very active in their institute.

As you can see, Sara was very familiar with mormon culture and religion. She also thought JS was a crackpot and would say this very openly to other mormons. Mormons would always pressure her to take missionary lessons, as she was always at mormon activities, but she always said she was happy in her life. She loved her mormon friends, but that was it. She had no desire to join the mormon church.

Fastforward many years. Sara is living in a different state and starts dating a inactive mormon. I joke that she just can't seem to escape us. They get married. He is a good guy and I like him. The third member of our trio of best friends leaves the church. Shocking, but hey I respected her decision as I wasn't too keen on the church anymore myself.

Last year I had a long converstaion with sara about my leaving the church. She had been married to her inactive mormon for about 6 months and was even more shocked that I would leave then our other friend as it was such a part of my life and my family. She felt it was part of who I was. I explained all the problems I had with the church, the beliefs, that I had in fact started doubting at BYU. Considering that she has been my best friend for almost 20 years, she was very supportive, said she admired me, and was proud of me for figuring everything out.

Recently I started seeing pictures she posted on facebook that she said were taken at "ward activity night" or "Young Womens" posting about how she is grateful for her eternal companion. I asked her if she had become mormon and she responded that she had. The conversation ended there.

I don't know what to say. I am still in shock. I want to ask her what the hell was she thinking, but I know this is probably not the best way to keep a friendship. I want to ask her if she learned nothing from her two best friends. I guess I really just want to understand her thought process. Was it pressure from her husband's family? Does she really believe it? Should I even bring it up? It's really thrown me for a loop. I feel a little betrayed, which I know is ridiculous, but I do feel that way. Any advice would be helpful. Do I address this and if so, how?

I would address it in a neutral manner. What prompted her to finally join after flirting with Mormonism for so many years? How is being a member similar to or different from what she expected? Is she a cafeteria Mormon, and if so, how is that working for her? How did she react to her temple endowment? Etc.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/24/2011 05:37PM by summer.

My approach would be a very direct one. I would say something along the lines of "I am worried that you might have joined Mormonism and it makes me sad to see you do that. I want to talk about it, and I hope you do too."

If you want to say something along the lines of "I don't want this to ever get in the way of our friendship." However, if you guys have been friends for 20 years, I doubt that something like that even has to be said.

When I was living overseas, I had a friend who was a Mexican who was considering joining the Mormon church over there. He was very lonely and they provided him with a community that made him feel better.

I didn't tell him not to join, but I explained many reasons why he shouldn't join. I explained what they were doing, step by step, to get him to join and exactly how living within the faith would be.

He didn't resent anything I told him and decided not to join up. It was his decision and he knew I wouldn't stop being his friend if he made the decision I obviously didn't want him to make.

Anyways man, good luck.

It sounds like she has always been in love with the social aspects of the church and that's enough to overlook the crazy beliefs.

My friends investigated as I began to research and left. She lived pretty far away then.

Her oldest closer friends were Mormon.

Didn't ask if you joined, gave her my old tiny quad (with letters to small to read) Take life easier and talk about politics job, ill parents, kids, tumors, bosses at work allergies and dead horses assholes that bother us tresspassers our brothers. YOu know things that matter

My husband said, Don't let it bother you. Take it as a compliment.

I was still too mad.Guess what made me and my life lovable. Memorable might be catchy.

She doesn't go much either anymore.

so we talk about the horse that's dead. long dead now. The cows on the upper range. Politics. And stupid men decisions on the farms in both our family. Then we look at each other and eat ice cream until our teeth hurt. and go and look at our comic books or look for more comic books tabric and beads, or drive down to the frosty as we've set dinner just let hte whole world stew.

We're that kind of friends. An escape from family at their mutual farms excepting her dad is a bit more into politics have to ask if hes still on the water board, president, now he's had that stroke. Who the heck cares if she enjoys visiting teachers in the mountains. Ruthie, she said, I just dont' like the air or the people in the church down there just makes my skin greasy.

I can't compete with her chichi friend in Austria anyways.

When she joined I threw up my hands. Her father owns near half the high Sierra he'll he has his own lake. Gravel mine minerals rights. She can do anything she wants to

Join the church then. Sniff.

Fine.

Let it run its course. It probably finally will like it did me. I joined in 2003 and married a Mormon then resigned on 2010 due to learning a lot of the unacceptable doctrine over time. Converts have a hard time accepting the outlandish after awhile. You arent told everything in the beginning. Converts are more heightened intuitively and can more easily detect and discern the BS than BICs can.