Several months ago (I'll have to check my records to find the exact date) my husband sent a resignation letter to the church. We followed the guidelines posted on this website. I think I had to threaten church members with harassment charges about 3 times before they finally stopped contacting us.

All I wanted to see from them was the confirmation letter. It has not come. How long does it usually take? I thought it was about 30 days. It has been about 3 months now I think. Should there be any more action on our part to ensure hubby's resignation is complete?

My biggest issue with this whole thing is that he was sealed to his ex in the temple and since I found out about that (after we were married) I have felt like he is still married to her. Mostly because he believes it himself. If I can't know for sure that he is no longer sealed to her, then I can't remain married to him. I'm sure that makes no sense to some of you, but that's just how it is for me. It would be different if HE didn't believe it, but he does.

So... how long should I wait and what's the next step?

Thanks to all for any advice you can offer!

start calling they some BP take a very long time with out the calls . (me 14 months)

Ironically, resigning does not cancel a temple sealing, though how the sealing would have any effect according to their own theology, is at best confusing.

"If that's just how it is" for you, find a therapist to help you change your attitude, because you aren't going to change LDS Inc. They don't cancel sealings, because the courts don't force them to. The courts don't get involved in contracts that only apply to you after you are dead.

I have spoken to counselors about my issue with the sealing. Point is, hubby believes that the sealing is no longer valid if he is no longer a member of the church. That's all I need for it to be good enough for me.

After all, I know the whole thing is bogus anyway, and therefore it makes no difference to ME if he is with someone else when we are dead. What matters is that HE thinks he will be with her when he's dead.

Here's the part that really concerns me... if he thinks he'll be with her after death and he WANTS to be with her in death, then I don't want to be with him NOW. Because ultimately he is choosing her over me. And I just wish that if he'd rather be with her he would let me know so I can get on with my life!

Anyway... I've said too much. I just need that confirmation letter so that I don't feel like a polygamist anymore.

Call the Church Office Building int S.L.C. and ask for confirmation that your name has been removed. That's what I had to do two times before I got my confirmation letter. They said my name had been removed (ha, ha, since all they do is put a date by your name) but when I said I'd never received a letter, they sent me out another one.

The resignation letter we sent in via snail mail got lost in Never-Never Land so several months later we send the Great Greg Dodge an email, and BAM-OH got our letter in under two weeks.

So if you sent it via snail mail (even registered snails and return-receipt-requested snails seem to get lost) I'd just pop off an email to the Great Dodger.

When I sent my resignation letter in they sent me the phamphlet and said it is an "eclesiastical matter" and that the local Bishop would contact me. I waited thirty days and heard nothing. than I sent a second letter telling them that if they did not comply with my wishes I would get a lawyer or the press involved. Weeks latter I got my final out letter. The magic word that will light a fire under them is "lawyer!" good luck..

I was afraid that the word "lawyer" might not work because the MORmONS tend to have so many connections.

We did get the "ecclesiastical matter" pamphlet and the local Bishop did call. We had recently moved to a different town and we used a relative's address as address of record so they couldn't show up at our doorstep. They showed up (at relative's house) even though the Bishop had been told over the phone that such action would result in harassment charges. My atheist relative sent them packing.

Thanks for the advice. Guaranteed, hubby's next letter to LDS will include some "magic" words. (And I don't mean "please".)

Mine took right at 60 days. Greg Dodge's email address is: dodgegw@ldschurch.org.

I'm sorry the sealing thing is causing you so much pain. My dad had Kolobian offspring from his first marriage. He and my mom had been married almost 40 years when my mom died. When my dad died a couple of years later, said Kolobians dead dunked and sealed him to their mother, to whom he had referred to throughout his life as "the old bat". I was enraged when they told me, but finally realized how ridiculous it is to put any credence in such foolishness. I hope you can get to a place where this doesn't torment you.