I ran across a statement I'd saved from somewhere, because it's partly funny and partly true. I don't remember the source.

“Do what makes you happy. Unless you’re no good at the thing that makes you happy, in which case you shouldn’t do it.”

There are things I enjoy but I suck at. Knowing I suck takes some of the enjoyment out of it. I guess a person needs to lack self-awareness in order to derive full happiness from something they do badly.

The flip side of that is being very good at something that brings you no joy. That was my life in Mormonism. I was a very good Mormon and it wasn't hard for me. Except it made me very unhappy. The converse of the quote above gives me the creeps:

"Don't do what makes you unhappy, unless you're very good at the thing that makes you unhappy, in which case you should do it,"

So, what things make you happy even though you're bad at them, and what things make you unhappy even though you're good at them?

I was about to say I was good at Mormonism but it didn't make me happy, but then I thought -- if you're not happy doing it, are you really good at it? My sister is a commandment-keeping Mormon who is blissfully naive and incredibly happy, I think that is truly being good at Mormonism.

I don't know if I'm good at anything anymore.

losinglisa Wrote:
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> if you're not happy doing it, are you really good at it?

Ah, yeah, there's that. Mormonism pretty much requires you to be happy. Or so good at faking it that you forget you're faking it.

Good at (but don't enjoy): math, accounting, paperwork, data entry

Bad at (but love): playing piano, playing guitar, dancing

Bad at painting and drawing, but I still like to do it. I found a way to make myself feel good about what I paint, so it doesn't make me feel like a chump so much.

Things that I'm bad at that make me happy: Thinking for myself, making choices for myself, making mistakes for myself, and not having a nervous breakdown about my mistakes anymore.

Things I (was) good at that made me unhappy: Trying to adhere to the church so strictly that I literally lost my mind. Trying to gain a testimony when I never could quite say with firm conviction, "I know the church is true". Trying to feel happy each time I heard a general authority, or ANY authority, tell me about how filthy immorality was, and how unclean I would be if I thought or did anything remotely sexual prior to marriage.

Trying to feel happy when all I ever felt was guilty, overwhelmed, and scared to death by Mormonism.

+1. I empathize 100%! Trying to be happy listening to general authorities, or sitting through church for three hours and getting a headache, or going to the temple to supposedly feel the spirit. Ugh. I wasn't good at any of those things either!

If the person is not concerned about how good they are, then it should not impact their happiness while doing that thing.

I enjoy cooking. I enjoyed it even when I sucked at it. I enjoyed it even when I was sucked because I created it, I learned something, I tried something, and I believed that the next time I tried, I probably would do better. In short, I enjoyed the process of trying to create something, even if the end result was not as good as I hoped.

I am still that way. When I try a new recipe and it bombs, it lessens my enjoyment of the result, not the joy in the process of creating.

How are you supposed to become good at something if you don't keep doing it?

Wouldn't it be better to say "Do what makes you happy, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone"?

But having to practice can sometimes be incredibly lonely and boring and sometimes even physically exhausting. It's difficult to tell wether music makes me happy or not. I'm very proud and happy about my achievements but the road to get there can at times be miserable.