By M (Jello Belt) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Stainless Steel 5/16 in. (8 mm) Ring w/ CTR Cut-Outs (Available in Sizes 7 to 14) (Jewelry)
This ring is very helpful when it comes to remembering what to order when I am at Arby's.

Update #1:

This ring is a marvelous work and wonder. The curious workmanship of this ring uses the same material that was used in the weapons of the ancient inhabitants of the Americas. The properties of this ring go beyond reminding me of the correct choice of fast food -- the ring seems to have a will of its own and constantly reminds me to choose the right.

I have also noticed that since wearing the ring I have not been stabbed, shot at or hurt in any other life threatining manner. This ring truly works in mysterious ways.

I know that this review is true.

Update #2:

OK, I've worn this ring for some time now. I am somewhat concerned that the ring is compelling me to do things that I would not have done before. For example I've recently accepted the calling to be the Ward Nursery leader. This is simply a calling I would have never taken. However when the bishop extended this calling to me, I was about to say no when an intense, warm feeling that originated from my finger and went straight to my bosom compelled me to say yes. It was as if some power descended on my agency and bound my tongue until I chose the right response.

Also, I never watch all sessions of General Conference. I was planning to sleep in Saturday morning when *BAM* a shock from my ring woke me up at 9:59 MST and continued to burn until I turned the TV to KSL. The ring didn't do anything to me as long as I continued to watch the session. It wouldn't even let me go to the bathroom during a hymn or a talk given by the Relief Society presidency. The ring compelled me to watch every session including the priesthood one.

I'm afraid that the ring might do something to me next Sunday if I don't volunteer (when they pass the sign up sheet around) to work on Sister Smith's roof.


Update #3:

I finally overpowered the will of my CTR ring and took it off.

To my surprise the affects of wearing the ring flashed into my eyes! I had a band of white and delightsome skin on my ring finger that stood out like an ensign to the world!! Even without the ring I have a reminder (I call it "The Mark of CTR") to choose the right. However it isn't as strong of a reminder as it is when wearing the CTR ring. For example I've started to like the smell of coffee.

Update #4:

I decided that all of the above was my imagination and put the ring, my precious, back on.

Update #5:

I have been called to the Stake High Council.

Update #6:

I can't bear this anymore. The CTR ring has stripped me of my agency. It won't let me do anything it doesn't want me to without being burned or zapped. I have decided to travel to the heart of Provo, Utah and climb the mountain with the big "Y" on it. There I will destroy the ring... if I can...

Wish me luck.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh where oh where could my baby be!

Product page:
http://www.amazon.com/Saint-Joseph-Home-Seller-Statue/dp/B002PHYF52/

M's review:

4 out of 5 stars
Miraculous!

I was extremely skeptical about the touted features of the St Joseph statue Home Seller. I have no doubts that God takes the time to bless pieces of plastic to help the faithful. However my faith waivers when it comes to real estate. Really, does even God have the power to sell homes in THIS ECONOMY?

So I decided to test my faith by purchasing one of these before listing my house. I was thinking of expediting shipping however the seller only offers standard. I was kinda miffed until I realized that God does things on his own time. No wonder the seller offered a 4 - 14 business day shipping window. My faith started to grow.

The item arrived exactly when God intended and I immediately put my house up for sell. In no time I started getting numerous walk-throughs and bids on my home. Jackpot! I was able to sell my house quickly and for a goodly profit. I even donated 10% of my increase to a local church to show God my gratitude.

But this is not the end of my tale, er, I mean review. Doubt crept into my mind as I thought about the statue. Did it really invoke God's blessings or was it a coincidence? After all my house was in very good shape and I didn't ask too much for it. Was I hoodwinked into buying a powerless piece of plastic?

After moving into my new house, I became very irritated with my next door neighbor. He had a pair of cats that would do their business in my yard and mess up my flower beds. One evening in frustration I chased one of my neighbor's cats out of my yard, throwing the St Joseph statue at it. I thought my aim was true but God does truly look after each sparrow (and cat apparently) and I missed. The statue ended up in my neighbor's backyard.

I almost forgot about that incident until two weeks later. I saw my neighbor packing up to move out of his house. I (gladly) stopped by to help him load the moving truck when he told me why he was moving. He said one evening a couple of weeks ago he started to get numerous phone calls of people wanting to buy his house. He said he wasn't thinking of moving especially after I had moved in; he said his cats really like me. However the offers he was getting were too much to turn down. He said the experience was nothing short of a miracle.

My heart started to pound, my bosom started to burn. He was selling his house because I accidentally threw my St Joseph statue into his backyard. On the day he moved I went into his backyard to recover my statue. I have used it many times since! In addition to selling my house again, I've gotten rid of three other troublesome neighbors with my St Joseph statue. Well worth the $8!

I only gave it four stars since the statue doesn't reveal beforehand what kind of neighbors you'll end up with. Of course re-application of the statue will eventually solve the problem.

TOO FUNNY! I like this style - anyone know who "M" is?

ANagrammy

Reminds me of the old country song

"I don't care if it rains or freezes, long as I got my
plastic Jesus, glued to the dashboard of my car."

You have my axe!

CTR = Chose To RUN!

CTR = Corrupt The Righteous!

http://www.amazon.com/Sunstar-Industries-Mooning-Gnome/dp/B001DTPAAC/

Knock, knock, knock...

Q. What is wanted?
A. Something to impress my neighbors.

Q. Has it a name?
A. It has.

Q. Will you give it to me?
A. I will, through this review.

I inherited this Mooning Garden Gnome from a special relative of mine. It was originally named "Brigham", but after receiving this endowment I decided to give it a new name -- "Tommy". Tommy likes to share (or should I say bare) his message to all those who seek further light and knowledge at my front door. Tommy does this by removing his magic pantaloons and showing his inner, vertical smile. Tommy reveals this message to all regardless if one is seeking it or not. His revelations aren't always welcome though. However, Tommy doesn't go door to door, intruding on other people's time to share his message. Besides, who wouldn't like his message? It's so white and delightsome.

I initially wanted to give Tommy 5 out of 5 stars on this review. However, Tommy is a little temperamental. I keep catching him getting into fights with my Saint Joseph Home Seller Statue. I know Tommy thinks his message is the best yet I wish he would show a little more tolerance for mindless pieces of plastic with different beliefs. My yard would be more peaceful.

You have my bow!