What do you think the most comical or silly things Mormon either teach or use to justify their religious beliefs? I'd say a few are:

1. That references to Wine in the New Testament was really Grape Juice.

2. That JS was forced by an angel with a flaming sword to enter into polygamy.

3. Missouri being the Garden of Eden.

Others?

Secret passwords and handshakes needed to get into heaven has to be right up there!

The list of comical teachings/beliefs seems to be inexhaustible. They actually continue to make stuff up. If not the leaders, the ordinary members who try to explain past ridiculisms of Mormonism make up new ridiculisms to do so.

Just a few others to add to your list:

(4) The belief that God has revealed a sacred underwear design for his most obedient children to wear and that he only want you to purchase that underwear through LDS ChurchCo authorized dealers.

(5) The belief that a corporate hack blowhard like Thomas Monson has been given the exclusive authority to speak to humanity on behalf of God. (This applies equally to all of his predecessors.)

(6) The whole golden plates story.

"The" church is true.

Determining what sort of creature you face by shaking hands.

The five points of fellowship has to be up there, how ridiculous.

That kills me. A gentile is a non-jew. Priest, priesthhood, bishop, bishopric...all stolen from other religions, ancient religions. I really wish Joe's Hebrew tutor had taught him some made-up Jewish words just to really mess with his head. He stole everything. Well, not Danites and curoloms. JS was probably smoking jimson weed when he thought up those terms.

12 year old boys have more power in their pinkie than the pope when they receive the priesthood.

A woman is supposed to be "counseled" by her 13-year-old son if she has questions of faith. Look, when my son was 13 years old, I didn't believe a WORD out of that kid's head!

But the MOST comical is the news that God is from Kolob. THAT one takes the whole damned cake.

~VOW

Goddammit! God is not from Kolob. Kolob is a star near where God lives. Sheesh! Didn't I teach you kids anything???!!!

"And the Lord said unto me: These are the governing ones; and the name of the great one is Kolob, because it is near unto me, for I am the Lord thy God: I have set this one to govern all those which belong to the same order as that upon which thou standest." - Book of Abraham 3:3.

Just sayin'...

ron

Ehhhhh...star, planet, planet, star...

The whole idear that God played a game of "Celestial Work Up" in a completely different solar system and was exalted enough to earn his own planet where he could be "God" is beyond comical.

So, what was God's name before he was promoted to God?

~VOW

LaVerkin

The three nephites was always a knee slapper for me.

Your salvation depends on the temperature of your caffeinated beverages.

Polygamy was just done so that women widowed on the pioneer treks were looked after.

This was the early (70's) apologetic on polygamy that was taught in Sunday School in that era.

Yea I heard that shit well into the 1990s

But Mormon magic underwear takes the cake for the silliest thing imaginable. Mormons still huddle around the fire and tell each other stories of how they are protected by their underwear, and that is pretty darn funny.

Of course hundreds of other weird beliefs might be neck 'n neck.

I was trying to read "It's a Miracle to Be Forgiven" and when I came upon that, I knew right then and there this book was full of bullshit.

The sun borrows it's light from Kolob.

Mormonism is filled with absurd mysticism, false histories, and weird cosmology. It's a goofy religion all the way round.

If I were to name of few of the silliest beliefs, they would be:

Cotton-poly undergarments with masonic symbols will keep you from harm.

Water is a tool of the devil (which, I guess, makes humans 75% evil).

God's confused understanding of planets, moons and stars (Abraham 3:1-13)

The use of magical stones, amulets, and clothing.

Power in the Priesthood to heal the sick and raise the dead.

There was no death before the Fall.

The assertion that faith is more important than empirical methodology.

I thought the Jaredite barge story was funny when I first heard it.

The idea that God wants you to wear long underwear that can only be purchased at specific stores.

Not only is one's salvation dependent on the temperature of caffeinated beverages, if a beverage is made from the tea plant or coffee bean, it's still a sin even though it's cold.

I heard one today that caused Moroni to shudder in Salt Lake City.

I asked a question of my TBM friend about Eve being told that if she bit the apple, Satan told her she would become "like God knowing good and evil." I asked if LDS, Inc. weren't following God's plan by offering knowledge that made a person become a God?"

Now this person holds a temple recommend and was a missionary in the sixties. He told me the Mormon Church does not teach that members can become gods anymore.

WHA WHA WHAAAAT? Is this true? Is godhood off the table?

Anagrammy