Well the little baby girl is here, and in my totally unbiased opinion, absolutely gorgeous. If I could I'd post a picture then all you other fond Grandmamas would think 'I thought my grandbaby was the bees knees, but this one...wow':)

So how did I do at keeping the Mormons out of the delivery room? It was a complete fail because, believe it or not, the doctor was a Mormon, complete with Magic Vest.

Now when I was a TBM I would have assumed that a Mormon, P-Hood holding doctor would in some way be more special than your ordinary, everyday doctor. He'd have a glow and a hotline to God.

Glad I'm no longer TBM or I would have been even more shocked than I was. Labour progressed fine, but after 2 and a half hours pushing the baby's head hadn't descended at all. Her heartbeat was dropping and there was a lot of meconium (sign of baby's distress) So what did Dr TBM do? Came in the room and started yelling at my poor exhausted daughter 'If you were really trying to push this baby out, she'd be here by now. Instead you're whining (by this time she cried ' I can't do it') and not putting any effort in. Well you can push for another half hour, and if you really try maybe we can get the baby out. If not it's a C-section'. Then he went on to list all the complications of a C-section, in an accusatory tone.

All the time he is ranting the baby's heart beat is dropping, dropping, dropping. He suddenly says,'We're doing a C-section and she is rushed off.

So what did they discover when they operated? A large baby, with her head in a sideways position, with her hand up by her face and the cord around her neck. Also my daughter had been pushing so effectively her head was well and truly jammed in the pelvis.

Next day after some strong words from my husband Dr TBM comes in to explain all the things which prevented the baby from being delivered. Then, glancing nervously at me, he goes on to apologise saying he was completely wrong to shout and she could not have done any more, he was really sorry.

Well we have a healthy baby. My daughter hemorraghed ( I know I've spelt that wrong) and lost a litre of blood but is recovering well.

But what is it with these guys? The arrogance and lack of compassion. What a way to treat a woman in labour. At least he did apologise. My husband is all understanding of him, but I say, burn the bastard!!

This all took place in a US military hospital and we are not US military so i felt constrained from speaking to the doc as I would have done in a Brit hospital. Nothing against the US Military, just this guy.

Can't even get simple orders right, like come out straight and don't choke yourself.

Also to be fair, the doctor did everything he could. He tried yelling, and then when that didn't work he yelled some more.

What else is left after that?

I see you have medical knowledge Raptor. Us lay people, we don't understand these things.

Chapter 4: Throwing Things Around When Things Don't Go Your Way

We need people like you on this board!

To European View: I agree with "burn the b*****d." There could hardly be a worse time to yell at a person than this!

Thankfully, the ultimate result of the labor was a healthy baby, despite the jerk doctor.

Best wishes for a speedy recovery for your daughter!

The doctor was completely unprofessional to berate her.

I'm not one to go for the "sue his ass" method. I WOULD, however, write a letter to the hospital staff and cc him. Consider it a review of his services, particularly in light of where this baby was.

It's good of him to apologize and admit his error (did he to your daughter?) BUT... this is a situation where his behavior did have a direct impact on the safety of your daughter and the baby.

He needs the feedback as a wakeup call.

Yes, the apology was to my daughter, he was very uneasy around me and my husband.

His behaviour did have a very direct impact on daughter and baby's safety. His belief that she was just not trying meant that they lost a lot of time. By the time they rushed her to the operating room, it was touch and go and I was warned that either of them might not 'be ok'.

But as I said it is a Military hopital and completely off my territory

This doctor does not perform well under stress, which may turn disastrous in a real emergency.

Say somthing to his superiors.

L&D is not his forte.

He needs to be reassigned to a less demanding position where his knowledge can be applied but the work is more routine.
Perhaps internal medicine.

Congratulations on the beautiful grandbaby!


No one can keep TBMs out of delivery when the worst of them is the attending doc. Good grief, but that guy sure did blow it bigtime!

The irony of it, when we had made such efforts to keep RS Pres, Never-met VT and family acquaintance out of the room, then the Doc is a TBM.

BTW one of the afore mentioned unwanted visitors turned up on day two. Luckily I recognised her Big Hair through the frosted glass window in my daughter's hospital room, so I was able to head her off at the pass.

Big Hair has its uses.

That's got to be one of the funniest things I've read in awhile.

The mental image that invokes is classic. And that you took the time to capitalize it as if it were the person's name. And that I've known RS women who should just go by the name Big Hair.

Hahahahahaha! Oh my god.

My experience it that a few male doctors are not very good with women's parts (and/or are not very good with putting themselves in other people's shoes.) I had a male gynecologist tell me once that I could not possibly be feeling any pain "down there" (which was so strong that I had passed out from it.)

I also had two doctors yell at me after I went into shock while under the care of each of them. One of those doctors was yelling at me as I came up from anesthesia. Lovely!

I agree with Glo, in my opinion this doctor was shouting from stress.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/11/2011 12:52PM by summer.

HE was stressed!!! He definately needs to go into a new line of business.

Glad baby and MOM are okay. It is awful that he spoke that way to her. Is it your opinion that he did so because he is an arrogant SOB and he was giving orders as most priesthood dudes like to do. Was he truly just saying she was weak and not giving her all. That is just terrible. I would never have him for a DR. again. Have fun with baby.

I really don't know, honestone. Both probably. I wondered if a misogynistic LDS view of women held sway there. Curious choice of speciality then though.

If at a military hospital, OB/GYN may not be his actual specialty. It's more likely it's a GP/Internal Medicine doc who did his obstetrics rounds during residency.

No, it is his speciality. I've looked him up.

I stand corrected.

IMHO, even more reason to write the hospital on the matter then.

Unfortunately, having been a military dependent for most of my life and encountered an Air Force OB/GYN who gave me nightmares, I'd be more inclined to blame the military system than the fact the doc was a Mormon. I developed an intense fear of gynecologists after my very first disastrous pelvic exam at the hands of a female Air Force OB/GYN. I did not have another exam for 12 years. I have since had another exam that went a lot better, but that was several years ago. I still struggle with a phobia.

That being said, I'm glad mom and baby are okay now. Enjoy your new grandbaby.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 07/11/2011 01:50PM by knotheadusc.

You want an unsolicited opinion? I think he only apologized to keep you all from suing his ass.

Do please report his behavior. I guarantee other women have been subjected to it. And I think it is possible he has some accidental deaths in his wake.
This is not just another day at the office, oops, my temper got the better of me, why don't you do your job a little better mom...

Lives are at stake and he has become insured to that fact.

Write a letter! Get him a track record.
With earlier attention, it wouldn't have been touch and go!

If he's a military doc, he may be pretty well protected from being sued... depending of course on whether or not he's in the military or a civilian.

I think a good first step is filing an ICE complaint or, if the doc is military, contacting the inspector general. A lot of times, you can do the ICE online from your installation's Web site.

Stories like this are my worst nightmare. Very rarely, if ever, do I have someone at my back to speak up for me or help me when I'm incapacitated. It hasn't happened but once or twice; just once as an adult. In medical care today, someone has to advocate for the patient, especially if the patient is not in a condition to advocate for him or herself.

So my question is this: How could ANYone just stand there and let a doctor berate a patient in active labor? "You're just not trying..." I gotta tell ya. I'm pretty pissed off that the Momma's DH didn't clock that doc right then and there and drop his ass to the cold hard tile. You don't talk to ANY patient like that and that blame the victim shit would go exactly this far with me --> <--. But if I were unable to do or say anything in my own defense, I hope to all the gods I've got someone in my corner who will fight for me and not allow me to continue to be mistreated.

Momma's DH was thousands of miles away - active duty military. He was on a phone link.

Of course we were furious at the time, but I didn't want to start rowing with the doc and further distract him from getting the baby delivered when it was obvious the baby was in distress.

Get the baby delivered that was our priority.

I and my wife have 3 kids. I was present for all 3 births.

I always found that midwives were the most savvy for birthing, unless there were real life-threatening problems.

My youngest daughter's head came out quick but, like your grandchild, she had 3 turns of the umbilical cord around her neck.

If the midwife hadn't been there to notice it and deal with the problem (calmly), I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have survived.

Hurrah for midwives (if there are any on the board).

Also, the word for midwife in French (I live in France) means "wise woman". I've always liked that.

All the best to mother, baby and grandma!

Tom

> Also, the word for midwife in French (I live in France) means "wise woman". I've always liked that.

the german word for midwife is 'hebamme' (from old high german: grandma/ancestor who holds the newborns). my aunt, my grandmother, my great-grandmother and so on all were midwives, hence my interest in this subject.
if you ever have the opportunity to watch this film (die hebamme/delivering hope) ... i highly recommend it, it's really impressive ...

http://www.betafilm.com/media/bilder/produkt/aed7495883_br_2826.pdf

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1434613/

http://www.stvf.com/TVEn/InfoDetail.aspx?ParentCategoryID=0a7e8aeb-1471-4cfa-ac33-d335a8b1c419&InfoGuid=05734660-90c9-4e37-8c42-d87ae05fbf1d

"My husband is all understanding of him"

Why? The way you described the doc's behavior, it was beyond all understanding, as I see it.

Beats me ipo, one of those mysteries of life.

So glad your poor daughter and little granddaughter were okay in the end. (The doctor's behavior was disgusting, though.) Many congratulations!

I just loved it when my idiotic doctors would tell me to "stop pushing" when I was fully dilated and the baby's head was crowning. Excuse me, I'd think, but my uterine muscle works just fine and is not controlled by me!

We have a problem in this country of too much interference with the natural process of birth.
'My doctor wanted to go have lunch... too bad, it was time for my baby to come out and he did! All on his own.

But tragically we lost my uncle due to the arrogance of a doctor. The doctor was insulted that my grandmother had chosen a stay at home birth, which was not all that unusual in 1921, but when her labor was not progressing as it should she was taken to the hospital by her birth attendant. The doctor would not listen and absorb the labor history, instead he argued with my grandmother who really didn't like being there. The next thing you know, while everyone is arguing my uncle dies in uterine and was still born.

If the D... Dr. had listened and said let's get this baby born now and argue about it later,... I would have had an uncle.

Now as far as military goes. She was treated okay.
My friend was an NCOs wife. If her husband had been an officer she could have requested a specific doctor to attend her.
She has some good doctors and some really bad ones.
She was lucky. It was her second baby and when she was in a safe place before the doctor got there she safely pushed and her lively daughter was born without the Dr. Asshat there.

I met Dr. Asshat a few weeks later in the Commissary. I'd been at that army post for three years and was used to unruly and rude GIs.... no big deal, but this man was in the cereal isle and being so loud and obnoxious I doubled back my shopping cart to catch up with my friend to suggest we go to another isle while this man was there. Imagine my surprise when she greeted him with her best eat-snails-and-die smile "Hello, Dr. Asshat!" My jaw dropped. Dr. Asshat was an ob/gyn in the Medical core and HE HATED WOMEN. I guess he saw his specialty as a way to make a lot of money and get a lot of ego boost and power by bullying women who would pay him to bully them.

The sad thing is there are women out there who keep going to the same rotten doctors over and over again and paying them for their bullying treatments!

I'm so glad she had you as a witness to his behavior.

Now to be just a little bit fair. As a Dr. in a military hospital he probably did not have access to an ultra sound or other diagnostic equipment to check her. So he's supposed to treat his patient, yet cannot use the tools he needs to do it.


But I remember back in the 70s a Dr. went into 'operate' on a 'five pound tumor' and discovered a baby. The wife with the lost baby and her husband were transferred to Germany within five days. Their orders were cut, their household goods packed and shipped, and they were on the plane to their new duty station. The packers even packed their full waste baskets! This was to get the family out of the country so they couldn't press charges on their military doctor for incompetence! (Again the days before ultra sound)