My sister has left the cult! Not officially, but out,loud and proud. One step at a time.

So, those of you who are well versed in how to do this: how do I help? What do I do or say without alienating her? Keep in mind, we are a large, Catholic bunch with a heavy duty Mormon periphery. Those LDS types will not be happy and us Catholics (ranging from practicing to atheist) are walking on eggshells.

I always thought I would know what to do and say, but I have to admit, I am humbled. By my sister's courage, by my own ignorance (hey, I looked up the word in my dictionary, it means lack of knowledge, not stupidity, folks!) and by the hope of a better tomorrow.

So, help!

With a lovely meal and a nice glass of wine??

;o)

living your life the way you want. Now enjoy it!

Congratulations on getting your sister to this side of sanity.

Now, what kind of help do you need? If she is out loud and proud, she should be fine with you.

First, congratulations. I am jealous. Second, I like Shannon's idea. Celebrate with a nice dinner and a glass of wine. Third, I am dying for more information. How did this come about?

Yes, more info....was this a quick decision on her part or has she been leaning this way for quite awhile. Just give her support as she will be told many negative things by the Mormons.

Be supportive when the second thoughts begin. Encourage and reassure. Relax.

Yay, congratulations!! I think taking her out is a lovely idea :)
It's one day at a time, so whether she needs celebrating or support, be there for both.

Sorry about the gap in time--on the phone! And I will be doing Shannon's idea: dinner with wine.

It's been a long time coming, I guess--from her point of view. The rest of us siblings have been doing the eggshells thing ever since she converted. Because we love her and would rather have her in our lives as a TBM than not at all.

Anyway--it seems her latent feminism has reared it's head. She just couldn't deal with being 'put in my place' (as she said on the phone, in tears last night) any longer. The final straw was that she keeps the books for the family business. Her DH runs it and his siblings draw money from it but live in Utah (they're in Idaho). At the annual family get together the brothers decided to move some of the investments around and sis pointed out it was not a good idea in this economy--long term should be paid attention to--and she was told to leave the room. That her job was to keep records, not make decisions, that was up to the heads of household . . .

Between that and her DH threatening divorce because she thinks 6 kids are enough and won't have any more, she left the church over 'issues'.

Now I am hoping she'll do some research and figure out it's all a sham anyway, so she won't feel so guilty (her oldest is a girl who just married in the Temple) about the kids.

Her husband sounds ridiculous. SIX kids, not enough, AND she does books at the family business, AND they don't want financial advice from her.

That REEKS.

Just be a good listener, but be careful not to fuel the fire of resentment that might be getting stoked already (by bringing up how horrible those men are being to her). I think she needs to make her changes slowly if there is any chance for keeping her relationships.

She's lucky that she has a sympathetic listener in you.

I would think she does not need much unsolicited support.

I would suggest inviting her to Sunday brunch at a fun, good restaurant with a bunch of fun people. Then just let people enjoy each other's company! Oh, and if they make some good Mimosas or Bloody Marys so much the better (for those into such things).



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/17/2011 10:31AM by MJ.