So, last Sun was the day when a cute little boy showed up at the door to invite my daughter XXX back to church after I had just talked to her SS teacher the night before and told him, "No, xxx will not be at church. I am not interested. We are not coming back to church. No, I don't want your phone number etc...

Had a FB post about religious figures that undermine parental authority in the name of religion. Didn't mention mormons nor was I very specific. However, one TBM FB friend read between the lines and actually apoligized for the behavior! She said when she was Primary pres and I sent a letter (which I forgot even doing)saying to stop contact she told everyone to respect my wishes. But, she says now xxx is into mutual so different leaders. Anyway,the last post was from me, that I still could not believe the arrogant and intrusive behavior of some people and that a letter was sent threatening a restraing order if anyone attempted to contact my minor chldren.

So, my adult niece tries to start up a chat with me the other day. i could tell she really wanted to know the whole story but I didn't bring it up. My son is babysitting for her kids tonight. I txt my son about when he would be home. He said nephew would call me. Waited-no caLL.Finally called him (nephew) and this was his plan (keeping in mind my DH died June 2010 and none of my TBM family has EVER offered to help me with the kids/house/errands NOTHING). Nephew thought they would just come get XXX(my daughter) after they got back from their outing tonight and she and my son (who is already there) can just stay the night and then go to church in the morning with them, because they are sure I'd like a break from the kids!!!

UHHHH, NOOO. I told him since I sent a letter threating legal action if anyone tried to contact my minor children it probably would send the wrong message (read sarcasm here).So, I pinned him down to a time they would bring son home (otherwise I'd be getting a call saying its midnight can he just stay blah, blah)and said Ok, see you tomorrow. Ah, yes..tomorrow. Family gathering for one of my (different) nephews birthdays. Could be interesting. At least it is in the home of the only other ex-mo resigned member of our family. I think if anything is said, I will just tell them that a birthday party is probably not the appropiate time for discussion.

GRRRRR...



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 07/23/2011 06:49PM by ladybug.

Quite a situation there! O_o

I am just puzzled by the sudden reactivation attempts. We haven't gone for 10 years! now, basically 3 times in one week?

when was nephew planning to tell you the good news? At your door step? While dd is excited and wants to play with her cousins? Who called them to get them to help with the reactivation of your kids?... notice they didn't want to reactivate you :)

And the fact that the whole purpose of the offer was to whisk your children off to church the next morning, was supposed to escape your notice!

But didn't you just submit your resignation a few days ago, ladybug? Is it possible that word got passed from SLC to your bishop right away, and that these are the last-minute desperate reactivation attempts?

Yes, I did just send it in. I don't think it would have gotten through that fast. It was just last Mon-less than a week ago...

When nephew brought my son back we talked and he says he did not know about the resignation, that he just asked because son was already there. Says he had no agenda.....Hmmm

ladybug Wrote:
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> Says he had no agenda.....Hmmm

Oh, he has an agenda, and you know exactly what it is. Hard to say about the reactivation attempts. It could be the new leadership, your resignation, one of your kids hitting (or close to hitting) a significant age, etc.

You've handled it well so far. Keep your chin up!

Keeping your cool - definite pat on the back for you, ladybug. One of the hallmarks of the egocentric religion is that you become the proverbial "Cipher in the Snow" when you leave. Their behavior could be just plain old thoughtlessness since they Mormon-yammer morning noon and night with all the activities whirling constantly.

Just be glad you grabbed your own life out of that tornado. So hard to believe they haven't offered you any help. Guess if it isn't a request from the Bishop they don't have to worry about it.

Your kids are lucky to have you to help them lead a joyful life of their own.

Anagrammy

Thank you all gor your responses. No problems at the birthday part. The only discussion was between me and exmo sister after the party was winding down.

Ex mo sister also has a story to tell. She quit going to church as a teen. HT found her in her 20s and started visiting. She had let her son attend church with our mom, AND she let him be baptised to keep the peace."

HT told bish sis was living with her boyfriend.Sis got word there would be a court. She sent in resignation for her and son at that point. She has now been married to her "live in" for over 10 years. Hes a wonderful guy..She is still bitter about the HT "spying" and "tattling."

In the midst of the process of DW and I receiving our letters DW got a call from the RS Pres. It went something like this.

DW: hello?

RS: this is is sister x, the RS pres, my understanding is that you are a member of the church.

DW: I used to be.

RS: What about DD? (DD is autistic but is independent enough to live in her own apartment although it is very close to us. She was never baptized. And even though she is an adult we remain very protective of her.)

DW: She's not a member either.
RS: okay, I won't bother you again.

That's the only conversation between church members to "reactivate" us since we resigned.

core of the "tribe"(as I think best describes how Mormonism functions), is not going to let go, no matter what anyone says or does! They are on an "errand from Heavenly Father " and by golly, they are going to do what they are required to do, no matter what.

They are so convinced that they will be held responsible at the "judgement bar", in the after life for failure if they don't get the family members back in line, that they push ahead regardless of any resistance, or common sense. (Of course, if it was so common, more people would have it.)

From my long experience in Mormonism, this is the impetus for the disregard for anything and anyone that resists them.

But, what to do about it? Continued resistance, continuing to shut down all requests for attendance, and then, if it won't stop, follow through with the threats.

There may be some strong consequences to those threats, so it's wise to be prepared for them. Many times family relations are severed because some of the LDS members never seem to be able to respect other people's wishes.

It may take awhile, and you may need to make some changes in how you deal with the family.
My best wishes to you.

I could not help but think about couple of 'reactivation' stories I've heard when I was still active in mormon church that mentioned children being instrumental in bringing their parents back to church. As if you can bring the kids to church, their parents will see the great effect it has on the kids and change their minds.

Also, I remember hearing comments like "but the kids really need to be in the church, where else would they learn?" when talking about families that stopped attending and had children at home.

I like how you handled it, hopefully they will get the message!