...you walk in through the front door holding a 99cent Arizona "Mucho Mango" drink and your dad with a concerned look on his face asks, "What's that!?"

you're part of a church that has successfully convinced millions of people that a natural substance with proven health benefits is actually bad for you (tea).

You end up posting on here... ;)

+1

You have a discussion in a BYU class about how dark matter could be the light of Christ.

dapperdan Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You have a discussion in a BYU class about how
> dark matter could be the light of Christ.


*Snort!*

Dark matter can BECOME the light of Christ because it will become lighter and lighter in righteousness as time goes on.


Anagrammy

You mean, dark matter is a descendant of Cain?

With that type of thinking, dark matter could just as easily be Jesus' poop.....or maybe its the combined poop of all the gods and lesser glorified being in the universe!

OK, I'm going with that one as far as dark matter is concerned:)

I think that's pretty deep.

All the poop from the Kolobian star system flows into space in the form of dark matter. Because God is so old, the mass of dark matter has become so enourmous that it keeps the universe from collapsing!

Then one day God says, "I flushed my watch down the toilet. Whom shall I send?"

Lucifer raises his hand, "Oh! Me! Please, oh, please, oh, please...!"

But God chooses Jesus.

As Jesus walks out the door, he mumbles, "Why do I get all the crappy jobs?"

...You think Michael Jackson was Mormon because over time he became more White and Delightsome.

...you've ever had a serious discussion about LDS doctrine's role in Star Wars.

...you have ever heard "parable" and "pickle" used in the same sentence.

...you hate the Boy Scouts but you've served as a Scoutmaster.

...you get a cold chill down your spine when you hear any variation of the obvious statement, "you can buy anything in the world with money."

...you believe God lives on a planet in the Kolobian star system, and you consider the Jehovah's Witnesses whacky.

When the "little family" stickers on the rear window of your mini-van show Dad, Mom (pregnant), Daughter, Son, Daughter (pregnant), Daughter (pregnant), Son, Son, Son, Daughter, Cat, Dog, Bird.

Ron

haha

saw one of those with the stick figure father ripped off - could make it out because of the dirt stuck to the adhesive...

You have been married 3 times and go to the same family reunions.

Green Jell-O is considered a food group.

You think oral sex is when someone is talking about sex.

...you find your lost wallet and call it a "miracle"

All of your non-member coworkers are talking about a recent wild roadtrip to Vegas and then they all look at you and all you can talk about is how nifty the Oakland Temple is... and then you wished you were somewhere else!!!

NorCalExM Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> All of your non-member coworkers are talking about
> a recent wild roadtrip to Vegas and then they all
> look at you and all you can talk about is how
> nifty the Oakland Temple is... and then you wished
> you were somewhere else!!!


Or, you talk about the Las Vegas temple being beautiful.

...a lady on the bus sees you reading Massacre at Mountain Meadows and asks you what Ward you're in.

You are not allowed to drink iced tea, but you are allowed to drink hot cocoa because your scriptures say to avoid hot drinks.

You believe the temperature of your caffine is a qualification to learn about God in the holiest place on earth.

Diet Coke....okey dokey
Coffee.......better repent

After paying tens of thousands of money in tithing you one day get an unexpected check for a few dollars and that is proof paying tithing works

when you are at a mormon wedding

1. The bride's mother is pregnant

2. The main table decoration is a decorated basketball

3. The main hall decoration is the basketball hoop and backboard

4. The main food is green jello

when you are at a mormon funeral

1. Everything is about the gospel plan and nothing is said about the deceased individual's life accomplishments outside the church. You know work, travel, family experiences.

2. The main food is funeral potatoes

3. Every TBM is judging where they think the deceased will end up, in the next life.


Just some observations--

JB

...needs to repent from their sins that caused their devastating loss to the U.

You think it's perfectly fine to disown family members because they don't believe the same things you do.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/21/2011 01:34PM by knotheadusc.

When you're at a wedding reception and the bride isn't pregnant but her mother is.

..A major snowstorm cancels church and you have no idea what to do with your time.

being in the same vicinity as someone drinking coffee makes you uncomfortable.

Your idea of "high cuisine" is to apply to the TV show "Master Chef" and you cook Funeral Potatoes!


~VOW