I am actually glad that the previous thread was started with the question of what bad experiences have "taught" you.

Life is an extremely diverse experience. It always ends with death, be it an easy one or a hard one or something in between. Given this, it is hard to imagine how life can be "worth it", since IMHO, there are probably 10 bad things that randomly happen to us for every lucky/good thing that randomly happens to us.

We are going to get sick (the flu, cancer, heart disease, mental illnesses, etc.). We are going to meet people, fall in love with one of them, and stay together and "be happy" or fall out of love and divorce. All these things are easy to talk about in a detached way and very, very, difficult to go through. So many of you have experienced so many hard experiences. It has left you (and me) wondering how we can ever become "whole" again. The answer if that we won't, not here and now, IMO. But I believe we can cope and we can look for the good and doing that is not some poly-anna bullshit-steven-covey kind of crap. It is real and can help, at least some.

I go through in my head, probably every day, a list of things that I missed out on for reasons I had no control over...I thought about listing them, but I am sick of thinking about it.

My never-Mo Dad used to say sympathy is found in the dictionary between "shit" and syphliss". He grew up in Nebraska, born in the early 20s, his Dad lost their farm (drought, crop failure, bankruptcy). They left Nebraska for Colorado in 1937, with everything they had...6 kids, the clothes on their back, and not much else. They got to Western Colorado and the kids were sent to live with a relative and neighbors because they had no place to live. Only my Dad and his younger sister graduated from High School. The kids worked picking beans and such and the family pooled their money to survive. My Dad enlisted in the Army just before WWII started and was sent to Europe to fight. He came home, married my Mom, had six kids, and then proceeded to get shit on by his employer, I won't go into it. He had heart attacks, heart surgeries, and strokes. He died over two years ago, in a little apartment with my Mom. He had nothing all his life. Except his kids. We thought he was the bravest, strongest, most honest and good man we ever knew.

So maybe struggles help us become something we would not have become without them.

But that's life. It isn't easy, but it is not supposed to be.

What a ride! The goal (a saying I am going to butcher...) is not to finish life dressed up in a tux and looking great, instead it is meant to be finished all beat up, screaming for joy as we skid out our motorcycle, scraping our knees and elbows, pronouncing "what a ride it was!"

It reminded me of my own father who died 2-1/2 years ago. My mother had deaf parents. My dad's father also lost their farm in the depression--but was eventually able to buy it back. My dad bought it from him and we just sold it a few months ago to a good guy who loved my dad.

My parents didn't have much--but he did leave us the farm (I have 2 disabled brothers--one had a stroke at birth and one had a stroke at age 42, who my parents nursed back to health and then he took care of them in their last years.)

I was listening to a song by George Strait one day--and it reminded me of my dad "simple people living side by side who still wave to their neighbor as they're driving by"

My parents' house was the house of a farmer--and the new bishop came by to see my dad after my mom's death (2 months before he died) and my dad said, "The bishop thought I was poor." My dad and mom were great people and weren't over the top TBM (especially my dad).

i learned from dh being unemployed/ underemployed for awhile in the early 90's depression that i can make it by with very little. I also learned that i like money!

Because of all the time and energy it cost me and my family for me to work thru my issues due to being emotionally and probably physically abused as a child i have some compassion for those in my family who are still working thru their issues. I am also trying to have compassion for myself, instead of doing the mormon thing and beating myself up for not being perfect anyways.

I understand there are experiences in life that you cant just 'get over' like mormons want you to think (and others too, it's not just a mormon issue).

That things take time to heal emotionally not just physically.

That there aren't any quick answers like: you got ill because you sinned. Go back to church and everything will be like it used to be.' Or 'god doesn't do that to his children, so it must be a choice'. Priesthood blessings are not the answer to life's ills. Science and research and good doctors and therapists are.

That i prefer kind people to critically hurtful ones and i do better that way. But that people like that exist in the world and it's not something i did to them. it's their problem.

So by the time i got out into the real world (post mormonism) i wasn't as floored as i could have been thanks to what i was taught as a mormon.



OTOH:

i know i'm not special so i haave more fear of things that could happen ( why not me).