Another reason why I hate the church. This is disturbing on many levels. I saw this on another ex-mormon support group website. Goddammit I hate this stupid cult and what it does to families. It's only a family-friendly church if everyone OBEYS. If you are not obedient to their teachings, then, well, now we'll just encourage your family to shun you and punish you by not allowing you to see your child get married unless you pay. No big...


"My dad is hard working, honest, blue-collar guy. The world hasn't always been to kind to him. He found himself out of a job many times as I was a child. You could say we grew up poor. We qualified for welfare and free school lunch, but my dad had too much dignity and pride to accept the freebies. He busted his ass and made every penny count.

By the time I was in high school things were working out for my dad and he had stable work with benefits. Our lives improved, but it wasn't like we were rolling in cash. We had moved out of poverty status into the lower middle class status. Money was still tight.

I was never one of those kids who saved for a mission because honestly I never considered it until I was a SR in HS. My dad was proud when I decided to serve; I was the first in my family to serve a mission. The mission would cost $365 a month. My Dad's monthly tithing was about $365 a month. If he paid for both it would be over $700 a month and he just couldn't afford to do that.

My dad decided to skip out on tithing and fund my mish. The Bishop chastised him for this and told him tithing always came first. He should pay his tithing no matter what, and the ward would pay for my mission. My Dad had too much dignity to do that. Also, my Dad reasoned that it was sixes. He tithes $365, and the church turned around and gave him $365 back to pay for my mission. How is that any different than skipping tithing and just paying for my mission?

2 years later I arrived home, and a month after I got home, my brother left on his mission. So basically, my dad did not pay tithing for 4 yrs because he was funding missions.

About a year into my brother's mission I got engaged. I was going to be sealed in the temple. My dad's TR had lapsed, so he went to get it renewed a couple of days before the wedding. Of course, he hadn't been paying tithing for 3 years because he was funding missions. The Bishop knew this and told him he had to at least pay a years worth of back tithing before he would renew the recommend. This came to roughly $4000. My dad went out and got a loan and paid the money. I was pissed at the whole situation. My dad just said: "It was worth it to be able to attend my son's wedding." The sad thing is; in any other situation, no one would have to pay 4 g's to be able to attend their kid's wedding.

I want everyone who is teeter-tottering on whether the LDS church is for them or not to understand this story.

Forget JS marrying a bunch of teens, forget about the uneasy history of Mormonism, forget about DNA and the BOM, and the contradicting doctrines. All churches have these things in common to some degree.

The most f*cked up thing about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the way it treats it's own members and families. It claims to be pro family, but it splits up families and screws with people's lives. It makes them pay large sums of money in order to see a loved one's wedding. It takes, and takes, and takes. Whether it is your time, money, or sanity. It sucks you dry and does not give back anything of value except some pipe dream of a perfect afterlife. An afterlife which the church makes you feel is impossible to obtain, and uses this to heap unnecessary guilt upon it's members.

It's not the doctrine that makes the church a damaging cult. It's the way they screw their members over. Such as not letting a father attend his child's wedding unless he pays $4000."

This post actually made me cry! What an f'd up church and what an awesome father you have. The mormon church doesn't deserve members like him. How long ago did this happen?

it didn't happen to the op. he found it on another ex site. (reread the top 2 lines :)

$4k is only 1 year's worth of tithing. The Bishop calculates that he owes 4 years of tithing, so he gave him a 75% discount.

Whoa. I'm sending this to my crazy TBM mother right now and telling her that THIS is why I don't want anything to do with her cult...thank you so much for posting...that's just awful.

Forget signs and tokens and crap. Ya gotta freakin BUY yer way into heaven. or whatever they call it.

Nope. Ain't goin there. THAT place prolly gots no use for dogs anyway because we don't pay no tithing!

Wow... and look at the way the poster feels about the church now. His dad made the sacrifice to pay for the missions and get the loan so he could see his son get married. Years later, his son hates the church.

It seems like a huge waste.

This is EXACTLY one of my main problems with the church. It makes strong families when everyone is towing the line. Otherwise you CAN'T be at the important events in your family members' lives. Where else but in Mormonism would a bride and groom be denied having their supportive parents and siblings there?