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Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum.
Sacrament meeting wasn't too bad this morning. Two of the speakers were fine. However, one woman, whose husband is in the bishopric, gave a talk that made me want to do a facepalm more than one time. (roll eyes) Yes she spoke on the glories of Mormon poverty. (barf) OMFG!
Please allow me to do some background explaining.
I first encountered this Mormon poverty when I got to YBU as a junior transfer. I had to have a term paper typed so I wrote the paper up and went up to Wymont Terrace to have a woman do it on her computer. I was floored when she admitted she was surprised that I was a JUNIOR at YBU instead of an airhead freshwoman. I thought to myself, what the hell is wrong with you, lady???!!! But then I looked at her YBU apartment and yes, she had two kids in diapers. My memory then went back to the first time a nevermo sister of mine drove out to Utah with me from back East to get me settled in. The first time we went to visit the campus, we saw a woman dragging FIVE kids behind her. My sister turned to me and said, "If that's what your church is like, I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!" (And yet she now lives in an area of Utah that's 95% Mormon) I was so glad I never fell for that shit but graduated and got a career. :-)
Also, my nevermo parents got some magazine from YBU for parents of students there. One story my mom read was about a couple at Wymont Terrace who were so dirt poor and married and had kids and how glorious it was to eat mac and cheese every night for dinner. She was disgusted with that and let me know about it. I was in total agreement.
Now while I was at the Y it happened to be during one of the years for the presidential race. I must've been the only person there at the Y to be a campaign volunteer for the Democratic candidate. I remember how the guy from the campaign headquarters and I went into south Provo to distribute flyers to encourage people to attend the local Democratic caucuses. OMFG all the poverty I saw there appalled me! Were all these fucking idiots INSANE? Was that what the church was really like???? Live in substandard conditions and pop out all the kids you can??? OMFG!!!!
So anyway, this speaker was going on and on and on about she and her husband were living on student loans and how bad it was. When they moved to one location, they were so fucking poor that they had a Disabled Veterans of America couch that was 30 years old and the table and dining set in their kitchen was 20 years old, etc. "And we lived on peanut butter and jelly and applesauce and had the best time of our lives!" I rolled my eyes, turned to my oldest and whispered, "PLEASE do me a favor and don't marry until you're established in your career!" He agreed, bwaa haa haa.
Right then and there, a creepy Mormon poverty memory came back to me, but this happened in the East. I had just moved to a city to continue my career. I ended up becoming a VT companion. One evening when I wasn't working, the main VT picked me up and we visited three families, but the only memory I have is this one family that was so damned brainwashed by TSCC about marry and have kids even if you can't afford them it was disgusting. This family was so poor that there was NO furniture in the living room. I was appalled to see two lamps ON THE DAMN FLOOR! There was only one quilt laid out on the carpeted floor. We had to sit on our rear ends to visit teach the wife. Somehow the subject came up and this family explained how they wanted to have 12 sons so all of them could become apostles someday! O_o Are you fucking kidding me??? I wanted to yell but kept my mouth shut.
I am SO GLAD my nevero parents, especially my mom, drilled it into me to do it the LOGICAL way: Go to college, GRADUATE with a degree, get a job, pay off your debts, THEN look for a mate and get married, which I did. I'm making damn sure to drill this into both my kids.
Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/30/2011 02:35PM by imalive.
Please allow me to do some background explaining.
I first encountered this Mormon poverty when I got to YBU as a junior transfer. I had to have a term paper typed so I wrote the paper up and went up to Wymont Terrace to have a woman do it on her computer. I was floored when she admitted she was surprised that I was a JUNIOR at YBU instead of an airhead freshwoman. I thought to myself, what the hell is wrong with you, lady???!!! But then I looked at her YBU apartment and yes, she had two kids in diapers. My memory then went back to the first time a nevermo sister of mine drove out to Utah with me from back East to get me settled in. The first time we went to visit the campus, we saw a woman dragging FIVE kids behind her. My sister turned to me and said, "If that's what your church is like, I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!" (And yet she now lives in an area of Utah that's 95% Mormon) I was so glad I never fell for that shit but graduated and got a career. :-)
Also, my nevermo parents got some magazine from YBU for parents of students there. One story my mom read was about a couple at Wymont Terrace who were so dirt poor and married and had kids and how glorious it was to eat mac and cheese every night for dinner. She was disgusted with that and let me know about it. I was in total agreement.
Now while I was at the Y it happened to be during one of the years for the presidential race. I must've been the only person there at the Y to be a campaign volunteer for the Democratic candidate. I remember how the guy from the campaign headquarters and I went into south Provo to distribute flyers to encourage people to attend the local Democratic caucuses. OMFG all the poverty I saw there appalled me! Were all these fucking idiots INSANE? Was that what the church was really like???? Live in substandard conditions and pop out all the kids you can??? OMFG!!!!
So anyway, this speaker was going on and on and on about she and her husband were living on student loans and how bad it was. When they moved to one location, they were so fucking poor that they had a Disabled Veterans of America couch that was 30 years old and the table and dining set in their kitchen was 20 years old, etc. "And we lived on peanut butter and jelly and applesauce and had the best time of our lives!" I rolled my eyes, turned to my oldest and whispered, "PLEASE do me a favor and don't marry until you're established in your career!" He agreed, bwaa haa haa.
Right then and there, a creepy Mormon poverty memory came back to me, but this happened in the East. I had just moved to a city to continue my career. I ended up becoming a VT companion. One evening when I wasn't working, the main VT picked me up and we visited three families, but the only memory I have is this one family that was so damned brainwashed by TSCC about marry and have kids even if you can't afford them it was disgusting. This family was so poor that there was NO furniture in the living room. I was appalled to see two lamps ON THE DAMN FLOOR! There was only one quilt laid out on the carpeted floor. We had to sit on our rear ends to visit teach the wife. Somehow the subject came up and this family explained how they wanted to have 12 sons so all of them could become apostles someday! O_o Are you fucking kidding me??? I wanted to yell but kept my mouth shut.
I am SO GLAD my nevero parents, especially my mom, drilled it into me to do it the LOGICAL way: Go to college, GRADUATE with a degree, get a job, pay off your debts, THEN look for a mate and get married, which I did. I'm making damn sure to drill this into both my kids.
Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/30/2011 02:35PM by imalive.
Cult! Cult! Frickin' Cult!
Struggling together in poverty to get an education...making sacrifices for each other to succeed...showing your faith in God by not postponing children...funny stories about wearing hand-me-downs from your single friends...the sisterhood in Wymount Terrace because you are all in this struggle together.
What a LOAD of CRAP. When I finally got married, after I graduated, DH had gone back to school after serving in the military. I was actually HAPPY I didn't miss out on the experience of living in a small, brick apartment in Utah and struggling to make ends meet while hubby was still in school. FYI..IT SUCKED!!! Big time. And I had a small trust fund I could fall back on and a college education so I could get a good job if I needed to, even if it meant putting the kids in day care. In other words, I wasn't 19 and desperate. I had resources. I can't imagine how horrible it would be if I didn't have the ability to turn it off if I had to.
But I chose to live on what little money DH made and what I had so I could stay home with the kids. I really believed this Mormon Poverty lifestyle was the best option because it was what I'd always been taught. And even though we were able to make it, we had to live on a really tight budget so I could stay home with the kids. DH was NEVER home, between work and school and our budget didn't allow for babysitters. We didn't live near family at the time and I didn't have many friends among the snotty Utah Mormon girls in my ward. The only good part was that my kids, even as babies, had great attitudes and were very portable. We did everything together, mostly because there was no one else. So that made the kids very adaptable and they learned to be very polite. But I never got a break, had to cut my own hair, wore my little sister's clothes and discarded makeup. I could have gotten a job - I realize that - but I really wanted to be with the kids and really believed this Mormon Poverty thing would bring DH and I closer together and was sort of a right-of-passage for a good Mormon woman.
Instead of being uplifting, it was soul-destroying and what really brought DH and I closer was when I left the church altogether. Of all the times in our marriage, these last two years have been the best by a long shot. I wonder how your sacrament speaker would like THAT for an uplifting thought.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/30/2011 02:29PM by CA girl.
What a LOAD of CRAP. When I finally got married, after I graduated, DH had gone back to school after serving in the military. I was actually HAPPY I didn't miss out on the experience of living in a small, brick apartment in Utah and struggling to make ends meet while hubby was still in school. FYI..IT SUCKED!!! Big time. And I had a small trust fund I could fall back on and a college education so I could get a good job if I needed to, even if it meant putting the kids in day care. In other words, I wasn't 19 and desperate. I had resources. I can't imagine how horrible it would be if I didn't have the ability to turn it off if I had to.
But I chose to live on what little money DH made and what I had so I could stay home with the kids. I really believed this Mormon Poverty lifestyle was the best option because it was what I'd always been taught. And even though we were able to make it, we had to live on a really tight budget so I could stay home with the kids. DH was NEVER home, between work and school and our budget didn't allow for babysitters. We didn't live near family at the time and I didn't have many friends among the snotty Utah Mormon girls in my ward. The only good part was that my kids, even as babies, had great attitudes and were very portable. We did everything together, mostly because there was no one else. So that made the kids very adaptable and they learned to be very polite. But I never got a break, had to cut my own hair, wore my little sister's clothes and discarded makeup. I could have gotten a job - I realize that - but I really wanted to be with the kids and really believed this Mormon Poverty thing would bring DH and I closer together and was sort of a right-of-passage for a good Mormon woman.
Instead of being uplifting, it was soul-destroying and what really brought DH and I closer was when I left the church altogether. Of all the times in our marriage, these last two years have been the best by a long shot. I wonder how your sacrament speaker would like THAT for an uplifting thought.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/30/2011 02:29PM by CA girl.