I have mixed feelings about this. My two TBM friends from my high school years are both already pregnant and their babies are only around 9 months old.

Part of me can't help but judge them- which I feel bad about. But I think the reason I judge them is because I am SO glad that isn't me. It could have been me. If I had married a TBM that probably would be me. I heard we judge people about the things that we don't like about ourselves. And I do not like that had my life gone a different direction I might still be TBM right now, having a baby every year.

I'm trying to feel happy for them- but I'm not looking forward to hearing their "I'm pregnant!" news every year.

Also, I am very curious about the link between women's rights and the number of children a woman has. Anybody know of some good articles? Thanks!

Soon the announcements of "I'm pregnant again" will come with a blank stare, bags under the eyes, flabby body, dirty hair. And they will think they are supposed to be happy.

Don't know any studies about womens rights, but certainly within the US, the number of children and the age of first child usually relates to education and socio economic status.

Young mothers lose out on economics and never catch up due to lack of education and lack of work experience. What a rat wheel.

I am glad that you are not one of them, you can actually have the life of your choice.

Oh god that sounds so sad!

Both of my friends went to college and have their degrees, so at least they were able to accomplish that.

Have as many kids as you want, even if it's none, and let your friends do the same. Trust me, they will be so busy they won't have time for you any way.

The biggest problem with religion IMO is that they tell you how to live your life, and then you expect others to do the same. Live life for yourself and get out of it what you want. Figuring out the last bit is the hardest part.

" ...and then you expect others to do the same"


Those whose "faith" is not self-sustaining don't really have faith at all.


I have no problem with people of (genuine) faith - but I seldom run across any whose faith can be sustained without an attempt to enlist my help.

That ain't faith ...

I'll never understand why some women feel the compulsion to have babies one on top of another. That's my idea of a nightmare!

When I was younger it was the common wisdom among nevermos that you should space your babies out if at all possible. The recommendation was that there be at least three years between each child. The three years gave your body a chance to rest and recover. It gave a mom a better chance of not having two or more kids in diapers at the same time. It gave a young family a chance to breathe.

Is it different in Mormon culture?

This is God's will, to further over populate the already over populated planet.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/31/2011 08:57AM by Stumbling.

Done by Harvard I believe. They looked into why so many second children are autistic when the first children aren't. One of the causes they believe is having children too close together because your body doesn't have the nutrients built up to feed the second pregnancy. They recommended spacing your pregnancies 3-5 years apart so that your body had time to build up adequate nutrients for the next one. Made perfect sense to me--I think pregnancy is a lot harder on the body than we realize.

I showed this study to my sister in law (who got pregnant on her wedding night) and she agreed that it was good research--but I guarantee as soon as she pops out this first one, she'll be trying for #2. After all, that's what the bishop told her to do!

If they're pregnant every year, it's not news. The news would be if they WEREN'T pregnant again.

On the positive side, though, it means their husbands are getting some nookie at least once a year.

unless it's immaculate ejaculate...

2 kids a year apart to the day--her first one born 10 months after her wedding. She had a miscarriage the next year and another child the next year. She lost a lot of weight with her last baby and quit having babies at that point. She never had another one. (None are autistic.)

I swore I would never do that. You don't have complete control over life. I had twins born 1 minute apart (neither autistic). I never had any more children either.

The responsibility is so shocking to some people that they will choose to stop having them. Some not.

My sister went back to school after her last--and so did her husband. They both got teaching degrees and they both still work as teachers--the only TBMs left in the family, though all her children have left the church.