I was looking online for the definition of a passive aggressive person to share with my TBM husband because I have come to realize he IS passive aggressive. I came across the link below which talks about a study done by a professor in Utah. He found Mormons have much more passive aggressive tendencies than any other place he has lived/taught.

I find his observations VERY enlightening.

http://www.cityweekly.net/utah/article-14558-passive-aggressive-m.html

This unfortunately is so unbelievably true with my family. In my 20 years of life I've noticed so much of this between my TBM parents. They absolutely resent each other, but fake a smile. I've been told I do the same, which cuts deep but at least I'm aware and try to fix this. This is so very true for Mormons. I'm sure they think they're being Christlike by avoiding confrontations but they're really damaging their emotional health.

Yes, very enlightening, indeed!

Passive contempt is definitely more accurate in the description of the behaviour. People can do the cruelest, nastiest, most vicious actions/retalitions with a sweet voice and a beautific smile.

The "all contention is wrong" teaching in TSCC is incredibly damaging. People who grow up with this concept have a terrible time dealing with different ideas and beliefs. It ingrains the whole "I'm right and you're wrong, so that makes you stupid!" mentality. It's not a healthy way to deal with the world and it makes people childish and stubborn.

My TBM mother was extremely passive-agressive with my siblings and me and she could never deal with any kind of disagreement with her POV of the world. Unfortunately, PA parents tend to create PA children. I cannot tell you how many years of damage I had to undo because of this kind of mentality.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/03/2011 11:15AM by Itzpapalotl.

I think it's because mormonism discourages them from openly stating their preferences and from questioning the status quo. Anything expect blind obedience and cheery smiles is seen as contentious and a lack of faith.

So the only way mormons can feel slightly empowered is to pull little passive/aggressive stunts.

Sadly, I think sharing this article with most Mormons would make them feel threatened, causing them to ignore the issue but label the person who shares the article as an anti-Mormon. Classic passive-aggressive behavior.

PA people cannot handle criticism, even constructive, without lashing back at the criticizer.

What's the best way to deal with passive aggressive comments?

I prefer to go very low to no contact with PA arseholes, but I also don't require much social contact, INCLUDING my family.
I just don't enjoy dysfunction and guilt trips in my life.

I can't decide if this makes me well adjusted or maladjusted, but I'm happier, and that's what counts to me!

Play dumb, but clarify.

I saw this guy speak at a Sunstone event in Portland OR. It was quite interesting!

I have found that when you are co-dependent in a relationship (marriage, work, church) with a controlling person who has some authority, sometimes you have to use passive aggressive techniques to deal with their hurtful, controlling behavior.

Perhaps Mos are more passive aggressive because the leadership is so controlling.

I think you've got it plus I have a feeling that alot of these people want power over someone because they were bullied so much by the leadership so they become bullies.