Hi there all, Im a daily reader but shy contributor. However, i am curious as to whether women actually need their husband's approval to resign these days as I was told? DH and i left about 7 years ago now and i am out. He is totally inactive but still believes etc. I would one day like to officially resign but am a little afraid of the rift it might cause in our marriage which is so much stronger after we left. Has anyone heard of this rule before? (I live in Australia so could it be different here?). Many thanks for any light on the issue!

This thread makes me want to cry.

The church can make whatever rules they want for people who choose to be a member, but you do not need ANYONE's permission or approval to leave it.

I am not as familiar with Australian law as I am with US, but I believe section 116 of the constitution provides similar protections as the first amendment, which includes the right NOT to belong to any church.

As far as making a decision based on the impact on your marriage, that is between you and your husband. You may choose not to resign if you feel that the potential rift is not worth it, but it is still YOUR decision.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/02/2011 11:46PM by Pista.

completely different way. The Church's rules are not our rules. We don't even need to officially resign through their official resignation system to declare our independence. If you do choose to resign officially by way of THEIR system, it should still be viewed not as a request to the Church. You are notifying them that you are no longer Mormon and creating a paper record of having so notified them.

As Pista says, the can make up any rules that they want. Theoretically, they could require you to write your resignation letter in chicken blood as a pre-condition and they could refuse to recognize the resignation if testing shows that it was written in red ink instead of chicken blood. But that's their problem. Those are their rules. You are not a member at the very instant that you declare yourself not a member. Those are your rules.

I resigned a couple of years ago and without my TBM husband's permission. I don't ask his permission to do ANYTHING! I am an adult and I make my own decisions. I would never let a church tell me I needed anyone's permission to do anything. If you want to resign, do so. Once you give them notice, they have no authority over you and you are OUT! Now, as a poster said above, if it is going to make problems in your relationship, then by all means, do what you need to do to keep things on an even keel. I am very fortunate that my TBM husband accepts my disbelief and respects my decision.

I resigned in 2009 without my then TBM husbands permission. I just told him I was going to do it and then I did.

In my case, I wanted to make sure my husband was comfortable with my decision and when I was sure, I sent the letter of resignation.

There is no such thing as requiring anyone's permission to resign your membership.

I don't need "approval" to make my own decisions, however, in a marriage, it's important to have some understanding and acceptance on some level, in my view.

There is NO reason to "ask" to have a name removed or to "ask" to resign.

Simply do it and it's done. Say, "I resign effective immediately."

"Resign" is an active verb and needs no outside approval to be a done deal.

No, you do not need your husband's permission to resign. You are an adult just as he is. and unless I'm gravely mistaken, women and men are equals under the law in Australia.

Your determination whether you want to be part of the church or not is your own personal decision.

May it cause issues in your marriage? Possibly. But that's an issue that's completely separate from the idea that you are inferior to your husband in status as a person. If you want to discuss with your husband before you make your decision as part of a discussion that goes with the normal challenges of keeping marriages strong and healthy, do so. Be honest with your husband - both about your desire to resign and your fears of what it may do to your marriage.

Thank you for all responses! I am pleased to learn that the Church won't be seeking his "permission" (highly offensive if it was true).
I agree and acknowledge that as an adult, I make my own decisions. I just don't want/need the church causing me or my husband any more pain and trouble. I will now give it serious consideration.
The fact is that, in my heart, I left a long time ago. Resigning for me is a formality only, but a step nonetheless important in sending a message to them that they cannot continue to treat human beings in this manner and get away with it.