I've got a good college friend who has thoroughly researched and documented all of the major 'issues' with Mormonism (racism, polygamy, BOA, MMM, Non-Semitic Native American DNA) you name it, he's got an indexed notebook full of well sourced research on the topic. In fact, reading those notebooks and discussing the research with him at length, was one of things that led me to finally conclude that the church we inherited, was bogus. But he never drew that conclusion, for whatever reason. He concluded just the opposite, based upon the same research, that while the church has obviously got it's flaws, it works for him and his family. And I have to admit, it works really well for him and his family. He's got a smoking hot blonde wife of 25 years, a whole herd of kids, an amazing social life, a great education, a beautiful home in a great, affluent community, a prestigious career that allows him to spend tons of time with his family and outdoors recreating. His kids all get good educations and have wonderful social lives. He's in excellent health as is his whole family. From the outside perspective, there's really not one aspect of his life that is not extraordinary.
On the other hand, since leaving the church, my life has gone a different direction. Since we started 'exploring our authentic sexuality' a year and a half ago, I've busted my wife cheating on me 3 times, but I'm stuck in this relationship because I don't want to give up what I've worked so hard to build up over the past 25 years of marriage. I'm unemployed and no longer practice the profession I got licensed for 20 years ago. And from the outside, his life is a whole lot more beautiful than mine.
Bottom line for me is that no matter what doctrinal/historical issues there are with Mormonism, there are doctrinal/historical issues with EVERY institution, but whther you see it as you once did, as beautiful, or ugly, really just depends upon your perspective.

I can assure you that there are happy and successful members of many religious and secular groups. The church is a red herring in this. If he weren't Mormon, he would be something else. So what?

You are comparing yourself with others in a very selective and probably unfair way. That is not going to help you. You can't live his life and vice versa. You may be unhappy with some things but you are also dealing with reality. Life has beaten you up because you've engaged it. I salute you.

+1

I agree that it may feel like that he is happy sometimes and your life might seem like it is a failure but you have something he can never have.

You choose to be honest with yourself and go your own path. His path is spelled out for him and if he deviates at all the whole thing will come down on him.

Beauty is really in the eye of the beholder because you might look at him as being happy but he might envy you for being true to yourself.

Having been where you are things will eventually play out to where you expect them and if not it will be one heck of a ride.

Anubis

2. I know plenty of Mormons who cheated on their spouse.

3. If the church worked for you, wouldn't you still be in it?

He probably doesn't pay tithing. Either that, or he is so wealthy that giving 10% isn't a sacrifice.

I don't know about that, but

While beauty is only skin deep, ugly is to the bone.

I just wonder if it isn't better to avoid drawing conclusions, like my LDS buddy, who's managed to thrive, not just survive, as an active Mormon.
I think it is possible to use the social system for what it's worth, while not necessarily swallowing the patently absurd DOGMA hook, line and sinker. Kind of like most Jews and Catholics do. Mormonism is just a MUCH less mature religion.
Having said that, I'm the first to admit that Mormonism works for some people, most of those who still attend, obviously. But my conscience wouldn't allow me to indoctrinate my children with what I KNEW was not just absurd nonsense, but really deceitful lies that have been used to exploit believers ever since Joseph's Myth banged Fanny Alger and that patriarchal heirarchy is still being used to exploit Mormons EVERY day, financially (tithes and offerings), physically (cleaning ward house toilets when they have billions of cash to blow on shopping malls and condos) emotionally (dependence upon the herd) intellectually (dependence upon group think, rather than independent, critical thought) spiritually (the notion that you cannot have a direct connection to God, unless you pay tithing to the Church and obey all of its' arbitrary moral codes) and sexually (protecting the pedophiles and blaming the victims, to the tune of millions of $$$$$$$ every year paid out in settlements to buy the victim's silence.)
So given my perspective, "The Faith of my Fathers" I inherited is an ugly thing, on balance. But it's not to everybody or even to most people.
Whether or not we see it as ugly or beautiful really depends upon our perspective, attitude, experiences and the conclusions we've drawn. Having the courage of our convictions means something, if not to us, it will to future generations, which to me is what's most important. And that gives my life meaning, even if it doesn't necessarily make me happy all the time. Happy is my default setting, unless somebody or something pisses me off!