A few days ago...

"I'm a proud mama today! C got up in Sacrament Meeting all by himself, his own choice and own words, and bore his testimony!"

Ew, GAG me. Seriously. The kid is 6 years old. Choice? Not when it's what you've been brainwashed to do since birth. Yes, I distinctly remember this friend asking me for tips on how to get her 4 year old Sunbeam to MEMORIZE his testimony.

And let me guess what the kids OWN words were...I'd like to bear my testimony, I know this church is true, I love my mommy and daddy, in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

Ugh. Deluded much? I do not think the word 'choice'means what you think it means.

Reminds me of a beagle I used to know. Did this wah-woo barking thing that his people swore meant "love you!" He tole me it didn't mean nuthin but ever time he did it they gave him a piece of cheese so yeah, he'd do it anytime! I would too, I love cheese.

Betcha that poor kid don't get no cheese though.

I effing hate the expression "bear testimony". It feels so unnatural. Why can't people just use the simple verb for it? Testify? Far easier and shorter too than the "bear testimony"?

Maybe they mean "This is my 'bare' testimony" (as in "this and only this is my testimony"). I doubt they mean "the bear testimony" (the animal).

It seems that bearing a testimony is an LDS terminology. In most other contexts, when "bear" is used, the word "witness" is used.

"I bear witness that..."

Effin stoopid.

That would explain the crying.

...I know dis chuch is twoo. I know duh Book a Momon is twoo. I wuv my mommy and my daddy. In duh name of Jesus Chwist, Amen.

Oh, my mommy and daddy ah so pwoud of me fo beawing my testimony all by mysef!