Supposedly the pressure was not as great in years past as it is now, so I am curious.

my dad didn't go...

I went because my GF said she wouldn't marry me...and my mom had her hand in the middle of my back!

I'm probably the only one that that ever happened to.

My father didn't serve a mission when he was young. I don't think it even occurred to him.

Ater he retired he, along with my mother,served 8 times. They would still be out there, but the church has an age limit.

I had a brother who served a mission in the 60's. The pressure wasn't from church at all. His draft number was 4. Serving a mission kept him out of Vietnam.

It seems like some time in the 70's and 80's it became a kind of status symbol. They also started to tell the young women to not marry anyone who hadn't served a mission. The pressure was on!

a number of times.

forgot that.

My father servced as a 19 year old, and him and my mother just served their second mission together as adults. I served as well at 19, not likely to serve as an adult:-)

My dad served a 2 1/2 year mission to Mexico in 1968-71. He was only allowed to go because his draft number was so high that there was no way he would have been drafted.

I think the pressure has always been great, though a little less on women, now.

My father had a very successful mission, which he talked about often. It was instrumental in shaping his life. He moved back there to live.

Both of my brothers went on missions, and bragged about it constantly. Their missions were the high-point of their lives. My sister and I wanted to go, too, but we were instructed that our mission was to get married and start having babies. My sister and I, being female, always felt less favored, from birth, and we were both eager to leave the nest. We both married the wrong men, and ended up divorced. My authoritarian father blamed us, and was was ashamed of us. He was also ashamed of my one brother who never got married. All of his favor was lavished onto my other brother, "Golden Boy," and his family.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/09/2011 04:28PM by forestpal.

Mine did a 3 year mission in Japan in the 1950s.

My nevermo Father of course never served a mission, but he was damn proud of me when i got back. He even dragged me to one of his Rotary Club meetings in order to put me on display in front of his friends.

My dad certainly did, hence the strong pressure for me and my brothers to go. I was the only one who did, but mine could barely be called a mission. More like 4 1/2 months of eye-opening hell.

My dad went. He's still TBM--at least as far as I can tell. He
"served" Scotland & Ireland in the late 70's as pressure was increasing for missions. One of my grandfathers went.

My brothers and I "served." I'm the only one who's eyes have been opened so far.

Interestingly however a few of my mom's uncles, who didn't go are the among the most zealous TBM's in the family tree.

Hypertension kept him from being drafted for Korea, so I know it wasn't to avoid that.

He had 2 older brothers, 1 younger brother, and an older BIL who married his oldest sister. I assume (he is no longer here to ask) that any pressure he got came from his Mom, who was devout, but his father was a nevermo.

So, the breakdown:

BIL: drafted into WWII. No mission.
Bro #1: joined the Merchant Marines. Also the black sheep of the family, though he married a TBM and has 5 TBM kids.
Bro #2: TBM to the core. Served a mission.
Youger Bro: Got married instead. No mission. Ultra TBM, tho. I think he's an SP now.

And this was in Utah, by the way. He didn't talk too much about his mission while I was growing up, but we were never a particularly churchy family.

He did come to visit me while I lived in Germany and we did a tour of his mission area together. That was the most we ever discussed it. The strongest impression I got was one of homesickness coupled with a love of Germany. He never talked about missionary work. I don't know if he ever even baptized anyone.

According to my mom, though, he opened his talk at his homecoming by stating that it most definitely was NOT the greatest 2 years of his life. Totally in character for him. :)

I do believe it was a different era. The subsequent generation was pressured more officially by the institutional church and not by family as my father's generation was. There was never any animosity or negativity aimed at my non-serving uncles.

Mine did.

My brother served in England (Agnostic now)
My BIL served in England (TBM)

A couple of nieces/nephews served missions

I don't think any uncles or aunts served missions.

OH and my brother's mission helped him walk away from the church (little doubts).

K

My dad did, but my grandpa who was a Mo did not.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/09/2011 05:58PM by scuba.

My dad went on a mission "without purse or script" in the early 50's. At that time they just sent them out without food or a place to stay and they had to rely on the kindness of strangers.

Then of course there were the numerous senior missions.

My father served a mission in the 50's. He married my mom in the temple eight days after he got back. My grandparents planned out my parent's wedding while my dad was still out.

shonto Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My father served a mission in the 50's. He married
> my mom in the temple eight days after he got back.
> My grandparents planned out my parent's wedding
> while my dad was still out.

Reminds me. I had a companion on my mission (mid 80s). He got a letter, with pictures of his girlfriend going out with his parents and picking out the wedding ring and everything. I wouldn't be surprised if they ended up planning the whole wedding and all too for right after he got back. Even at the time as a TBM I thought it was extreme (but then I didn't get married myself until I'd been home six years).

at least one Great Grandfather did too ...

But neither Grandfather did ... the one generation that was missed and they were both the age to be missionaries in the 1920s and 1930s.

One of my wife's grandfathers served a mission too but I'm not sure his motives were entirely religious or just to stay out off WWII. He went in the early part of WWII .... and it caused some resentment between him and his brother who ended up going into the Army but would rather have avoided the military like his brother. But I guess they could only support one on a mission so ... DW's grandfather finished his mission while the war was still going on and then got married, and moved from job to job making sure each job qualified for military deferments to still stay out of the service for the duration.

In the 70s ... SWK started emphasizing the "every worthy young man a missionary" mantra ....



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/09/2011 07:25PM by Scott.T.

After he was released he worked for the american embassy in Brazil because the US was at war against Hitler.

His mission was one of the first where Portuguese was taught to the missionaries; prior to that the missionaries sent to Brazil learned German and were to teach German immigrants from Europe. The missionaries were instructed by the church not to teach people who appeared to have negro blood in them.

One of them was in the Tongan Islands for a couple of years before WWII and until the war ended. He was instrumental in establishing mormonism there.

...overseas. It was 2yrs & 6mos years back then, like Mitt Romney's.

It was really hard on him both mentally and physically. He had major dissonance. He returned with an intestinal parasite that took months to treat. But, the mental strain was the worst. He never articulated what it was, but my impression was that there were just alot of mission leaders, I assume ZL's and AP's, maybe MP, who were narcissists.

Ironically he was the most guarded when I decided to serve a mission in the 90's. My inactive non-RM mom, to this day, still says that a mission is a good way for boys to grow up, even if the church isn't true. But dad, who by then was marginally active but believed the church was true, seemed aware of some psychological troubles I might be in for. Basically his attitude about the church is general is that the prophet and apostles and GAs are trustworthy, the scriptures and temple are true, but local leaders aren't.

Ironically, I turned out to BE one of those missionaries driven by a manic narcissism, and I admired the trait in others. So, naturally I liked local church authorities, because it's the narcissists who rise to those positions on missions and in local units. I became the corporate workaholic busy-body white-collar dark-suiter at church that my dad was wary of. I finally sensed my own prejudice when he asked me for a blessing and in it I berated him for having a cold heart, by which I meant that he held a grudge for local leaders and was slack about the church. After that he occasionally made a comment here or there implying I was too dogmatic. I had a 10-year stretch in which is was EQP much of the time, then in the bishopric. I was told by the bishop called just after we moved out of that ward that I would have been called as bishop had I stayed. It seems plausible, he's younger than me and I had more kids.

...But fate has turned the tables.

I resigned this year, and I haven't told dad. Now, ironically, I'm back on his left again, he still being marginally active in the church as he has been for over twenty years, still wary of the motives and tactics of local leaders but still apparently believing in the Brethren in SLC, the temple, and the Book of Mormon...
...Whereas I've dumped the whole load. I don't even believe in Jesus anymore. That would hurt him. I can't bear it...he's suffered so much through decades of a strained youth in a dysfunctional 1950's mormon home, depression, war (he's a Vietnam vet), and divorce. He's the one person I would fake it for to spare his feelings, and how I understand that some people HAVE to feign mormonism to spare the feelings of loved ones who may take bitter disappointment to their grave otherwise.

His brother, BILs didn't serve missions. He had one nephew who did--and my disabled brother (the above-mentioned nephew was our bishop who kind of forced the issue of my disabled brother going on a mission).

It is of note that the of the last 4 bishops of the ward I live in, 3 have not served missions. They are all quite young--especially the one just prior to this one. He was only in his 30s when called as bishop. When he moved into the neighborhood, he was inactive. Then he went back to school and became a seminary teacher. My daughter worships him. So I keep telling her she doesn't need an RM.

In the 1960s, I believe only 2 from each ward were allowed to serve missions. The rest were drafted or got education deferments.

On my mother's side, the children were forced on missions--every single one of them. Interesting stories behind many of them.

Looking at this from the flip side of being a father and having sons go on missions. I have three sons, one went on a mission because he wanted to, the other one doesn't want to serve a mission and I am okay with that, it is his choice and his life. My last son has a few years left before he even wants to make that choice but the thing is that it is his choice. Not his aunts and uncles or his grandma's or anyone else but his choice. That is what I tell those mems that think it is there business to ask if my second oldest will go on a mission, I remind them that it is his choice not mine and that he fought for that right to make that choice and I wasn't going to take that away from him. They usually go away with a confused look on their face. What a novel thought that you can choose what you do in life.

My dad did not go on a mission, but his family was only part/semi-active and I don't think he ever had much interest in the church.

Two of his brothers did go, and they both speak of it as something they very much wanted to do themselves; they never talk about it as something they felt pressured to do. They are both very TBM to this day -- have been a bishop and a temple worker. My dad is still a jackmo.

I did, my brother and one sister did, my father did, and both grandfathers. Kind of unusual.

Great experience, great mission president (the first one). Second was a jerk, but it helped me to see the quality of the first, and to recognize the manipulative practices of the church and its leaders.

I forgot to mention that my grandfather served a three year mission AFTER he got married. His first child was born when he out!

My father and all of my uncles on both sides went on missions.

My dad didn't go (chose to keep going to college instead). My stepdad didn't go on a mission either--his 6 brothers and sisters all went on missions and everyone assumed he would too, but he surprised everyone by joining the army instead.

All of my uncles and grandfathers (step and biological) served missions though.