I was a Mormon, along with my wife and kids, for a little bit more than a year. Before that, we were raised Catholic, which means we never went to church nor did we have a very religious life. When our second child was born in late 2009, we decided we were going to look for a Christian church, to raise our children in the faith. A neighbor told us about the LDS Church, and sent the missionaries in May of 2010. We were baptized in June that year. We went to the ward, had callings, but throughout that time, I felt awkward, not really believing the major doctrines.
Well, we stopped attending church about four months ago. I feel that I wanted to go back to that point in our lives when we decided to look for a Christian church, non-denominational. I feel that falling for the LDS church was a huge mistake, because it is now making me question Christiany overall. I now feel that no human being should tell me what to believe, how to think, and what to teach my children about God. But I do want to attend church, because I feel that worshiping with others helps develop and strenghten my faith in Jesus Christ.

But I'm having problems finding the right church, because at the first sign that a pastor or minister or someone in the congregation makes a comment that brings memories of the bishop trying to control me, I just stop going, even though I do believe the historical doctrines of Christianity (Trinity, etc.).

If you were Mormon, and now are attending a Christian church, how were you able to go past the "don't tell me what to believe" mentality?

Thanks!

Not the "don't tell me what to believe."

One of my favourites :)

Naturally, my TBM mother calls it "blasphemous". Of course it it is blasphemous, but then I don't believe Christianity deserves any special reverence any more than Islam or Moonieism.

I think the more non-denominational you go in seeking the churches, the more you will run into the fundamentalistic black and white viewpoint and they will tell you what you have to believe to be part of their church.

Unless I misunderstand your definition of non-denominational.

If you want a broader perspective that is not hard core, you may have to go more orthodox...like Methodist and churches like that. I think they have more wiggle room to them in that they definitely know what they believe, but don't shove it down your throat.

Google churches in your area, see if they have web pages, most do, and read what their beliefs are and creeds and see how it would adversely or positively affect you.

Sounds like you are looking for a social network.

I agree with Dave. The UU's are not going to shove any particular belief down your throat.

Failing that, keep in mind that members of mainstream Christian churches (the Methodists, Lutherans, Presbyterians, etc.) seldom believe all the doctrines of their religion 100%. Extreme conformity of belief is a Mormon thing, not a mainstream thing.

If belief in anything specifc is not a requirement of fellowship, then why bother with a religion at all? If all you want is a social club then join one that participates in something you are interested in socially - dancing, drinking, card games, sport etc

I can't see any value in attending a church that neither teaches or has a unifying belief.

don't need to believe the miracles (walking on the water, etc) to believe that the priniciples-concepts:

Love for (God and) neighbor

Honesty, Kindness, Charity, Forgiveness, Patience, etc.

have Value.

that's a FALSE association that religion sets up; I don't buy it.

You'll see the best, and occasionally the worst, of both here. But we're all just trying to get through life.

I'm on the "left Mormon church" wagon, but not Christianity.

I was born of a LDS mother and Church of Christ father. While he turned his nose up at the LDS Church, he never-the-less let mother have her way about what church to raise me in. Yet, mother was not at that time a strong LDS role model. They divorce when I was 12.

Mother and step-father LDS, but again he did it to please her. He came from a Pentacostal background. He was never in the Priesthood---cigarettes.

When (in my 30's) I woke up to the falsehood of Mormonism, it was like a rug was pulled out from under me. All those lies, all those years!

I began to question whether other things that I had been taught were true, including Christanity and the belief in a Heavenly Father.

Start with what you know to be true and work your way from there. You know that you exist. You know that you love your family. You know that you want to do what is best for you and your family.

What morals and mode of life do you believe is important to help you teach your children good principles that will give them a strong foundation to build a happy life on? Then seek, seek, seek for whatever will help you in this direction. Be it a church, or not.

If you are looking for the structure of a church, and looking for a perfect church, then all I can say is that I do not believe that a perfect church exists anymore than a perfect human exists.

Nobody can control your beliefs. You can socialize within a congregation without being "thought controled" by it. That is what to teach your children. To socialize with good people, listen to their beliefs, but to analyse and think for themselves. You do not have to be 100% in agreement with everything and everybody...that is what you are looking for.

rowan you summarized really well what I was trying to say. Thanks for your suggestion!

BrownLamanite, I posted something similar a few months ago when you were here, but I would like to reiterate it because I feel it is important.

My parents were not active in their church (LDS) until I was born, and my mother felt an obligation to raise me in the faith; she believed that it was part of being a good parent to give me religion.

She was a wonderful mother and I think she did a fantastic job of raising me, but I feel that allowing me to be indoctrinated by a church -- ANY church -- was a huge mistake. If I could change one thing about my upbringing, it would be her decision to introduce me to religion. I truly believe that my life would be so much better today if she had stuck to a solid foundation of critical thinking and good morals and left the magical thinking to the fairy tales.

I applaud your efforts at being a good parent, and I am sure you will figure out the best fit for your family, but I would suggest that you consider the possibility that your kids don't need religion to be good people.

If you were baptized in the catholic church and then never went to church and never did anything religious than you were not RAISED catholic. Rather, your religious education was pretty much neglected.

As many Mexican Catholics, we went to Mass once in a while, on Christmas, Easter, Ash Wednesday, etc. What I meant is that I was raised, culturally, a Catholic. That means we had pictures of Our Lady of Guadalupe hanging on the wall, as children we crossed ourselves before going to bed and every time we passed by a Catholic church, etc. Being Catholic, in my experience, was something cultural, more than spiritual.

Oh, forgot to mention I attended Catholic elementary school. So I was definitely raised Catholic, at least on the surface, as most Catholics I know.

BrownLamanite Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Oh, forgot to mention I attended Catholic
> elementary school. So I was definitely raised
> Catholic, at least on the surface, as most
> Catholics I know.

Oh.
I was raised Catholic also, in a very Polish Catholic neighborhood in the midwest. I had very devout
parents. We always went to Mass on Sundays. I went to Catholic grade school and High School. But it was more than that. My parents tried to live what they believed and really instilled in us, love of God and neighbor. They had a real relationship with Jesus. We were not surface Catholics. That is not to say that my parents were perfect. But they did their best. Anyway, Comes the day you have to make your own decisions about what you believe. All but one of my seven siblings are still Catholic. I wrestled with the God and church thing. Did a lot of studying. Especially the writings of the early church. Today,
I am very happily Catholic. I came to this board while I was greiving the loss of one of my daughters to the Mormon Church. I felt like they stole her from me. It's getting better. We have a good relationship now. This board has helped me understand a lot of things.

I don't agree with what some of the other posters have said. Faith and spirituality are important parts of life and just because the Mormon experience has been a negative for you doesn't mean that you should abandon your faith in God or nurture that spiritual part of your life.

I can't give conclusive proof that God exists but I believe that evidence of his existence can be seen every time you look at yourself in the mirror - the complexity of the human body with its many intricate and interdependent parts is the greatest evidence that we did not emerge from some primordial soup or evolved from apes, if some wish to think that way that is their right to do so.

As to what after Mormonism I would offer the suggestion that you change your focus from Church centered to Christ centered. It's not a church that saves you but your faith in Christ, churches are simply vehicles to help a person get to their destination. Some do a good job while others are not so great at it. I don't suggest that you follow blindly but I do suggest that you accept that all churches will have their faults and failings because they are organizations run by humans. All churches will have an element of having to follow rules and commandments, that's just the nature of it, but some exercise that oversight in a way that is not abusive and there are some truly saintly people out there who really try to live in a way that reflects the love of God.

We left Mormonism and came to that understanding and it has helped us greatly, we do not feel tied to any denomination so we feel free to worship at Catholic, Baptist, Anglican,Lutheran, Church of Christ or any other Church that has a positive, uplifting, encouraging message and is Biblical orthodox (But remember that there is human weakness in all churches).

I don't know if this helps you and it does take time to recover from the injuries inflicted by Mormonism. I hope that you will not give up your faith I think it can be very worthwhile for you and your family.

Thank you, Another Opinion!!! That's exactly how I feel! I don't see it as many on this board do, because I was only in the LDS church for a year, so it did some damage to my belief system, but my faith is still here, in my heart. I want to have a personal relationship with Jesus, something that I wouldn't have been able to have as a Mormon. Heck, I think that if I were to go back to being Catholic, I can develop that relationship better, but for now, I'm not going to the Catholic Church at all. I just want to be a mere Christian.

I say "Amen" to what Another Opinion said. When I left the LDS church there was a time where I didn't believe in anything. Then I started watching Shawn McCraney's "Heart of the Matter" show. I would highly recommend watching that if you still want to be Christian.

I consider myself a Christian now, but I don't attend a church. And that's okay! That's what I love about being Christian. There are no rules and stipulations that you have to follow. It's EASY compared to the LDS life! It's all focused on believing in Christ. It's that simple. From what I've heard, there are churches that say you have to be baptized, etc, into their church, but just leave and continue your search until you find a church you like.

Good luck on your recovery from Mormonism!

How can any christian church force you to believe what you don't want to believe? Christian churches I know usually only ask about trust in Christ if a person is seeking baptism. While encouraging baptism most allow a person to be a member without it and certainly there is no interview or form to fill in to attend. The vast majority of Christians I know are more concerned about following Christ than denominationalism. If my current church closed down tomorrow I'd simply find another that suits my needs without worrying about whether or not I believe every nuance of doctrine...most of which have nothing to do with the essentials of Christian salvation anyway.

As a Catholic I was baptized as an infant. Then, when I joined the LDS church last year, I was baptized --again. I'm not going to be baptized ever again. I know I'm following Jesus, so I don't have to do that anymore. I don't want to be an official member of any church, I just want to share my faith with others and worship together.

The problem with Mormonism is that it has a scorched Earth policy. They brainwash people into the "all or nothing" mentality. I believe that this leads to many exmos becoming atheists.. they feel completely betrayed by religion and can't trust anything anymore because of Mormonism.

You may want to check out Shawn McCraney and his show "Heart of the Matter." He is a former Mormon who developed a personal relationship with Jesus. He denounces institutional religion and advocates someone becoming born again.

There are options. Sure, many lose all their faith after Mormonism. But, don't allow Mormonism to dictate to you the terms of your faith system.

Some of us applied the same standards of research to X-tianity as we did Mormonism.

It wasn't about "all or nothing" and wasn't about some psychological breaking.

We left Mormonism because the claims made had no evidence to support them. And we left X-tianity for the same reason.

If you have faith, that's fine. But that's all X-tianity has for its claims. Faith.

Agreed. I looked at other faiths to see which one to go for to fill the hole left after mormonism. After much research found they were all dodgy. It's been a few months now and I am happy to say that I am not a theist and can use my brain to work things out now.

I respect your opinion, Raptor Jesus. Since I wasn't raised LDS, I don't feel the same as you do. Mormonism takes it to the extreme. I can be Christian, and I don't have to feel guilty for not giving 10 percent of my income, etc., like they were trying to make feel at the ward.

BrownLamanite Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I respect your opinion, Raptor Jesus. Since I
> wasn't raised LDS, I don't feel the same as you
> do. Mormonism takes it to the extreme. I can be
> Christian, and I don't have to feel guilty for not
> giving 10 percent of my income, etc., like they
> were trying to make feel at the ward.

To many of us, this misses the point. It should not be about how easy, how affordable, or how unextreme mainstream Christianity is, compared to Mormonism, it should only ever be about whether or not it is true!

Mormonism is difficult and expensive, but if it *was* true then it would be the right religion to follow. This is why many TBMs stay - "I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it." (bollocks, but illustrates the point.)

There are thousands of Christian churches that don't demand payment, don't demand confession of "sins", don't make you feel guilty etc but I still don't see the point unless

a) they are provably "true" and

b) they promise a return on the investment

In other words, even if a religion was provably shown to be correct in 100% of it's teachings, there would STILL be no point in making the effort to affiliate yourself with it unless the rewards were worth it.

I've not found any evidence in support of Christianity's claims. Hence it falls down on point (a).

Is that often Mormons marginalize apostates by claiming that they only left Mormonism for the "three Mormon approved reasons."

But on this board I have seen the same marginalization from X-tians for why exmos don't jump over to X-tianity instead of "going all atheist."

I am glad you question Christianity, as the same scrutiny used against Mormonism should cause the same hesitation in considering the validity of Christianity. However, you believe in the historical doctrines of Christianty such as the Trinity. What does that mean; you support the council of the Nicene creed? Then wouldn't that make you Catholic?

Maybe it's simpler than that. You believe in Father, Son, Holy Ghost, without going into specifics. If that's the case, then I won't argue with you. I'm not a Christian myself, and flat out reject organized religion, while in the same breath praising the idea of personal enlightenment as taught by the Buddha as well as the Sermon on the Mount.

Personal spirituality is strange. I understand your feelings though. It really is a knee jerk reaction for me to blink a few times when someone leaves Mormonism and joins Christianity, I'm trying not to be such a confrontational asshole.

This confession brought to you by greekgod.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/16/2011 12:45AM by greekgod.

I think the biggest hangup for exmos migrating to Christianity is that Mormons have Faith in the church. "I believe the church is Turoo!!"

Don't put your faith in any church! They are man-made creations. Put your faith in God/Jesus. Don't let any church or pastor tell you what to believe. Most Christian churches don't care if you don't believe all their doctrine. They won't ask you anyway so don't worry about it.

The thing for me (and it's a bit different for me since I've studied this as a missionary and in college) is that, as a Mormon, you are taught from an early age on that Christianity is bullshit.

I guess you could say that the psychological tactic of "inoculation" is useful in this way.

It just seems strange then to turn around, after having not only seen through the haze of indoctrination and then going so far as to act upon your newfound conviction, to backpedal by ignoring the problems of Christianity (the different church schisms, the politically fueled wars and genocides, and witch burnings, the man-made bible, to list only a few) and being "born again" instead.

I guess though that non-denominational Christians could just as easily distance themselves from all of that, but then what do they have? The bible, and only the bible. The bible has its share of problems. It just seems like, once your "hmm..." detector is on, how could you just shut it off?

nlocnil Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I think the biggest hangup for exmos migrating to
> Christianity is that Mormons have Faith in the
> church. "I believe the church is Turoo!!"
>
> Don't put your faith in any church! They are
> man-made creations. Put your faith in God/Jesus.
> Don't let any church or pastor tell you what to
> believe. Most Christian churches don't care if
> you don't believe all their doctrine. They won't
> ask you anyway so don't worry about it.

You hit the nail on the head. Mormons have faith in "the church." They have faith in the institution of Mormonism. It was a giant step forward in my personal faith when I was able to realize the church is a corporation. I don't have faith in man-made corporations. Once I realized that, I laugh when I see TBMs get up at the podium with glazed eyes and say, "I know the church is twoo!" LOL

Questioning Christianity? I say ...GOOD!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYaQpRZJl18

So, I personally think getting past the "don't tell me what to believe" mentality is actually a bad idea.

I personally think it a good idea to always question one's beliefs. Always question groups that ask you to believe in something.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/16/2011 02:32AM by MJ.

Aw, my dear, sweet children, I want to give you the precious gifts of shame, guilt, fear and superstition.

Or was it a matter of you having no clue how to teach your kids on your own how not to be thugs and criminals?

is child abuse.