It’s a cool, foggy morning here in North Texas, and since I have the week off and a few minutes to sit and read RFM I thought I might share a few ideas I’ve been thinking about lately.

Cheryl’s post about Mormon bullies caused me to reflect a bit about my own experience with bullies at church, and why I allowed myself to be put in those situations.

I sometimes think that my years in the church weren’t really my own. Being born and raised in the church I was thoroughly indoctrinated, even though at some level I was always skeptical and never fully invested. Despite my ambivalence I always did what I was told if only for the sake of appearance. I seemed to obey in a sort of emotion-less way--almost robotic. I was bullied into doing things that I knew weren’t right so many times; i.e. visiting inactives without calling, accepting callings, stating that I “knew” things were true when in fact I had no idea, etc.

It’s been about 5 years or so since I’ve been to church, and over that time I’ve developed friendships and relationships with many people who have no connection to the church. When I began making these connections, I realized that I had a limited ability to make informed choices for myself and act like an adult--almost as if I was emotionally immature, if that makes any sense. As time away from the church has passed, I feel like I’m finally going through the stages of normal life development and finding out who I really am. Maybe that sounds corny or touchy-feely, but at the ripe old age of fifty I’m feeling like my life is finally my own.

Does anyone else get a sense of what I’m talking about? Does life in TSCC delay normal adult social development? I’d like to hear your thoughts.

The underlying religious undertone in the USA is a major reason why this country as a whole is immature.

When I lived outside the states, I realized just how developementally behind we really are. Examples would be our attitude toward alchohol, teaching sex education in the schools, creationism vs evolution, just to name a few.

Americans really don't know what "freedom" is.

America is moving away from the Simon Says way of doing things; ChurchCo ISN'T.

I feel the same way... I joined up when I was 20 and feel that while my hairline has matured, emotionally/socially I stagnated somewhere in my 20s.

YES. Particularly my young understanding of relationships between the genders. I was "saving myself" for my Eternal Companion, who of course would be perfect. I cringe to think now of the impossible, crazy checklist I had in my head to evaluate any male who asked me out on a date. Some real sweethearts did not "measure up" to my stupid standards, and return missionaries got bonus points until I went out with them and found out they could be jerks.

Also my relationship to "authority" figures. As we were all taught the most important principle of heaven is OBEDIENCE.

When I finally woke up from the stupor of Mormonism, I was decades behind my peers.

Yes, I feel there are a lot of experience that people outside the church have in common growing up that I don't. It can make it difficult to relate or know how to behave at times. The church micromanages telling members what is appropriate behavior that when you leave the church you sometimes wonder which of those rules where weird mormon rules and which are common to most people.

In fact, I would say it not only delays development, Mormonism actually stops development. It didn't used to be that way. The Mormons that grew up in the 50s and 60s seemed to be pretty much like everyone else at least judging by my parents and their friends. From the 70s on something went drastically wrong. I think society moved on and Mormonism regressed.

This.

This exactly.

Modern leaders are trying to force the church back to a cultural golden age that never was. There is so much now that encourages members to just stop thinking and obey, and fills up their lives with minutia to insure they're too busy to stop and really take a look around(especially if that look would involve a short walk in someone else's shoes).