After 7 years of being inactive (thinking I was just sinning the whole time, and embarrassing my family in the process) I finally started research a week ago. I've read everything I could, and it didn't take long to find out what everyone here is finding out. The church is all made up. I was a good little boy for 7 years in that I never once looked at "anti-mormon" information (I just drowned my guilt with more booze and anger). I've barely slept, eaten, or focused on anything but find out everything. Two days ago the world cleared up. A sense of calmness came over me. I was so sincerely happy and liberated. My guilt was lifting, I was having feelings I had not felt since high school, since before I stopped going to church. It was the best happiness I can remember feeling. Last night I received a classic passive-aggressive email from my brother and my good times spiral straight back into depression. It took me about 4 or 5 more hours of reading to give me peace again. I am clearly still in a shocked phase, mixed with a whole bunch of anger. How long can I expect this? How can I deal with my family? Christmas is coming up but since much of my life has been nothing but a lie, how can I go back "home"? It makes me sick to my stomach just to think about it.

Oh, and what do you guys use to quickly pull yourself out of the guilt cycle once it gets started? Anyone have a simple reminder to keep them grounded? A string around my finger? a passage in my wallet? the background of my phone?

I stopped feeling guilty for anything when I decided that I had no interest in any rewards and no fear of any punishments. I'm going to live my life the way I want and that's that.

A supernatural being who would fault me for taking full responsibility for myself is not so super.

that's exactly how i felt.

once i stopped accepting somebody else's views and started believing in me (an not in an imaginary friend) my life turned out for the better. much better.

You'll find yourself spiraling in and out of different feelings for a long time. It's a long haul, but well worth it.

I hate to say it, but it's going to take time and patience. You've spent a lot of years wrapped up in one way or another with the mormon church, and it's not going to go away over night.

The good news is you've already done the hardest part - realizing the church isn't for you and finding happiness (for a few moments at least) elsewhere.

You're going to have more moments like your brother's e-mail. But you're reaction was a very good sign. You realized it was a passive-aggressive e-mail, and after 4 or 5 hours you were at peace again. As time goes on you'll recognize stuff like this a lot more quickly, and recognizing what it is, it will bother you less and less.

As far as Christmas goes, it's all up to you. If you're too much in shock to deal with family right now, then stay away. They'll still be around in a few months, or however long it takes. Or limit your time with family - schedule other committments so that you have to cut time with family short.

Remember, you don't owe anyone any explanations or excuses. Your beliefs and feelings belong to you alone. And don't let anyone give you guilt because you're turning away from "the things you were taught." We all have to live our own lives in the way that rings true to us. Your family might be upset or disappointed, but those are their emotions to deal with, not yours.

Hang in there - you've already gone through one of the most difficult parts of the process. And it gets much easier with time. Just take it easy on yourself. And come back to the board and check in often. There are quite a few good people here who can help you out.

It's pretty easy to learn the truth, but it takes time to recondition your emotions. Guilt and fear were ingrained very deeply for me, and I was extremely manipulatable (Yeah, I know I made that word up).

Everybody is different, but please know that you are normal. Temporarily "floating" back into the Mormon mindset will happen, and can be triggered by hymns, common mormon platitudes or guilt-inducing phrases, and being around people who can just DO that to you. This is common with ANYONE leaving a cult.

Yep, I used the word "cult", because of the deep conditioning that has held your emotions captive for all of these years. The church is abusive and controlling, which is WHY you haven't emotionally disconnected after all this time away from it. Read up on cults, and you'll understand yourself and your Mormon friends/relatives a lot better. Steven Hassan has a great website and books. freedomofmind.com


When you feel those old feelings, you need to stop and ask if your fears or guilt are rational, or if they are just old conditioned responses that you no longer need in your life. With time, the severity will weaken, and eventually you will be in control of your feelings again.

I had to get to the point that I wasn't going to LET relatives mess up my day (or week) with stupid e-mails or phone calls. I didn't need to absorb OR respond point by point to their ridiculousness. Ironically, they stopped bugging me once I decided. So I guess I don't know if I REALLY would have been able to emotionally ignore them. But I at least felt better not worrying that they COULD religiously assault me again. :-)

Good luck! It gets better! And once you process all your emotional stuff, you will be able to enjoy your life a lot more.

phoneboy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I've barely slept, eaten, or focused on anything but
> find out everything.

When I first found out the church might be lying to me, I was up every night until 3:00 a.m. trying to find out everything I could, reading every book, double-checking LDS information, surfing the net for LDS and RfM-type websites...my kids said I loved the computer more than them at one point. But when I realize I was being lied to by the church - the biggest influence in my life - I had to KNOW. The truth was more important than anything. So many of my decisions in life (BYU, mission, temple marriage etc.) were based on the assumption the church was true and if it was all a lie, what then? That's why finding out what was true was sooooo important to me.

Phoneboy, in your situation the most important thing IMO is to keep finding things that prove to you personally that the church undeniably false and a lie. Because you will have moments where you doubt your findings and you have to say to yourself "Yeah, but even the church admits ________ and to me, that proves Mormonism a lie." It will help reinforce your knowledge that you are correct and give you strength. It will also help you with the guilt. Because if you didn't live up to Mormon standards and Mormon standards are based in lies, then SO WHAT? Seriously, you have NOTHING to feel guilty about re: Mormonism. If you didn't live up to your own standards, that's different. But if you didn't live up to the expectation of a lying church, you have no reason to feel guilty. Keep telling yourself that. They made you feel guilty so they could manipulate you and your life. So they could use you for free labor and tithing money. I'm pretty sure that you didn't live up to the standards of a mafia boss either - are you feeling guilt about that?

You sound like you are getting to the point where you are so convinced of what is true, you are beginning to feel peace with it. The shock of it will come and go, lessening every day. It's different for everyone. The anger is common too. Leaving the church is like a death - death of something that is as big an influence in your life and thinking as a close family member. It's a big deal. You can expect to go through the five stages of grief.

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/

But it's worth it, as you are probably finding out. Because you will be free of unnecessary guilt and obligation and you will really own your own life. You'll be able to define your own values and feel at peace with your decision.

Finally, I have no advice on how to deal with your family. You are coming from an opposite direction as I was when I stumbled on the truth. I was very active - in the Primary presidency as a matter of fact. People were shocked when I left and was sure it was because I was offended or had done something very wrong. In your case, I'd guess people will think you are just trying to justify your lifestyle if you tell them what you found out. People who are active Mormons rarely want to know the truth and even more rarely want to know what you found out. Just keep reminding yourself that you are right and they are wrong and try to summon your compassion for them. It's hard to do but it helps.

Oh, one more thing. You might want to read about characteristics of a cult and how Mormonism damages people - brainwashes people. It will help you realize what's been done to you and why those you love still act so weird.

http://howcultswork.com/

http://members.shaw.ca/blair_watson/

Good luck

It must be very hard to still believe in all of it and not be following the many excessive rules.

What a relief to know that it's all a crock.

But it's also a huge shock. It can sometimes take considerable time to get used to such a big turnaround in your thought process. Be patient with yourself and be very proud of your courage to face change.

I'm proud of you. Wish I could give you a timeline, but I can't.

Take care.

I'm very interested in how Jackmos think and I hope you can post more about it sometime. If so, I'll be sure to read and learn from what you say.

Most of us have gone through what you're going through. You described it very well. You seem to be dealing with it very well, so keep on doing what you are doing. For your brother's e-mail to upset you for only a few hours is actually good--something like that would have upset me for weeks!

It's too bad you've make your shocking discoveries so close to Christmas/family time.

The rapid rate at which you are doing your research will speed up the process. I did not eat or sleep properly for about a week, and even took time off from my job. It was as though the rug was pulled out from under me. This initial shock won't last much longer, as soon as you think you have learned ENOUGH. A word of warning, whenever a new lie comes up, you get shocked all over again. I thought I was over the shock and anger--and then the church got into Proposition 8, and I felt horrified all over again. It doesn't last as long, though.

It might help you to get out of denial. Perhaps sometimes you try to tell yourself that it isn't as bad as you're making it out to be--but it is! After the shock comes ANGER, and, for me, that lasted longer than the shock. Anger spurs you to action, and I and my children officially resigned, and straightened out a lot of Mormon mumbo-jumbo about my abusive temple marriage. There might be personal things you need to work through, too. The sooner the better.

RFM will help you to recover from shock. You will discover you are not alone, as you read others' stories. Posters here have excellent advice, too.

In the meantime, it helps to acknowledge that the Mormon church is a cult. Cult, cult, cult! You are recovering from a lifetime of BRAINWASHING, and it will take time. The good news is that every day, you will get better and better. Don't let the setbacks bother you. When the anger hits you, just go with that, too.

It is not YOUR fault. You are not crazy. The cult is crazy. The cult members are crazy. It helps to get it into perspective:

The Mormon cult makes up about 1% of the world's population. It is a mouse that roars, full of itself, faking its importance, having to advertise that it's not weird. They have no authority from God. They have no authority over you, whatsoever. They can't curse you. All they can do is shun you. If your job is secure, and if your children are on your side, Mormons can't hurt you.

Sorry to ramble. I assume you would like a quick fix, in case you are not out of shock by Christmas. Well, you know how to behave, regardless of what your religion is--right? Religion should be only a tiny part of all you share with your family. Just say, "This is a holiday. Let's not debate." I always say, "No religion or politics at the dinner table." Focus on the good times, happy memories, talk about them, talk about what's happening in the moment. You must manage to put your new discoveries on the shelf--and that can be hard to do right now. Do not go to church with them on Christmas Day. You might crack. (I know I would, and say something really stupid that I would regret.) Pretend to have a bad headache. In fact, you really are "sick to your stomach." Be kind to yourself and your stomach, and don't go to church. I don't think you need to miss your entire visit home.

Learn to say, "no" to your passive-aggressive brother. Tell him you promised yourself not to bring up anything controversial during your visit--and that you'd be more than happy to get back with him later. Ha-ha! Later, you will be fully prepared to blow him away with the Truth, poor guy.

As for your own sanity, don't think about your lifetime in a cult, but think of your strength of character in rebelling. You had great insight to know that something just was not right! You followed your wise instincts.

The upside to this, is the lifting of your guilt! You say you feel like you did in high school! Many of us feel as though we've been reborn into a life of freedom and individuality. You will feel better about yourself, and you will have more love in your heart, without the cult stifling it all.

--Give love to your family (their cult is so devoid of love)
--Try to make them laugh
--If you feel like the high school kid you were, connect with some of your old hometown friends. Spend a lot of time with them, and if your family objects, remember you have RIGHTS. Bring your buddies home, to break the ice with your parents. They wouldn't dare preach religion to them.
--Stay busy. Do yard work (Remember Griswald on the roof putting up Christmas lights--we've all done it!) help prepare meals, and talk about chopping carrots instead of drinking alcohol.
--Leave your Christmas shopping until the last minute. You will need to be at the stores, and busy wrapping gifts. Offer to do errands for everyone.

If you still believe in Christ--or if you believe in his teachings--or even if you don't--lots of people around the world are celebrating Christmas in a not-Mormon way. You can do it! Have a merry Christmas of truth and freedom! Congratulations on getting out!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/03/2011 06:06PM by forestpal.

EXACTLY!! I totally relate. I just figured all this out a few days ago. First I was shocked too, for a short time, then came the anger. OMG! I was (and still am) so mad!! I feel so lied to, deceived, tricked! I'm so mad I let them use fear and GUILT to control me and so many other people I love and care about. I also feel so dumb! Doh! 0_o

I have been 'less active' for years but had one foot still in. ((I realize now, looking back, I've had one foot out since before I was 8)) Nothing has ever made sense to me and for lack of a better description, I have always felt 'too smart' to fully believe. A few days ago I learned about what really happens in the temple and realized that completely goes against everything we are taught and it's ridiculous! "It's not secret, its SICK!" That was the thing that made me go... this is not only not true, its not right! Nobody needs a secret password, handshake or silly hat to get into heaven, gimme a break!

So I think we are both newbies to figuring this out! However, as the anger starts wearing off, I find myself laughing at so many things! I tried believing or trying to believe in something that didn't make any sense for 35 yrs in my case... but when I started acknowledging it might not be true... EVERYTHING started making sense!!! I felt relief!

Like so many others have said, when they starting investigating it totally consumed them day and night! I've been doing it for 3 days straight! Its because for once everything is starting to me sense. imo.
The church uses fear and guilt to control members and completely forbid looking at anything anti-mo cuz once you do, its so easy to see their lies.

However, I can't stop laughing now as I am constantly realizing how dumb I've been and looking at how dumb others are. I'll have to find some post for you that really cracked me up!! Its helped a lot! I'm not going to tell my family anything, they will figure it out. I'm already the 'black sheep' and 'rebellious one', I don't need to give them anything else right now to throw in my face. They probably knew I didn't believe before I did anyways.

Maybe since we are both just figuring this out, we can help each other out!

Here's the other thing I am having a super hard time with, and maybe because the thing that pushed me over the edge was finding out about the temple rituals and stuff, but its this... Most of my family and the mormons I know are super modest and all about being appropriate and modest at all times and not ever showing our bodies to anyone etc etc blah blah... therfore, I can NOT imagine any of these people going to the temple and not only do they NOT freak out when they are told to take off all their clothes and put this 'sheild' over them which the workers wash and anoint them (so ew... ugh!) but not only do they let them,how and/or why doesn't THIS right there make them go... uh, this is not okay. I have read hundreds of stories of TBM and RFM who say that they never felt right about that, in fact, most say they felt satan like. We are taught that if anyone touches us under our clothes and tells us to never ever tell anyone about it, its wrong. BUT THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT THEY DO IN THE TEMPLE! And it was way worse prior to April 1990, only making me more confused as to how my dad, mom, grandma or anyone would go thru that and think that is okay or right and not make them question it?? I just don't get it! I asked some TBM I still know and they confirmed that is exactly what happens but they said, 'its not that bad' and the stupid lds phrase, "its just what you do" makes me cringe now! Why are so many people just doing things cuz everyone else is? Oh yah, cuz they are brainwashed. I've heard that theory before but never believed it. I heard mormonism is a cult and only when I found out what really happens in the temple and looked up the definition of a cult did I realize it was true. anyways. I hope you get on and check this site. I'd like to discuss this more with someone who is just figuring this out too.

It can take a long time. Some people here say it only takes weeks or months. For me, it's taking years.

I am doing better, because now I know I am right. Keep in mind, you know the truth now. Your family members still in the cult share the delusion of the emperor's clothes.

I didn't learn the truth until after 15ish years out, thinking "what if they're right???" the whole time. And I think that that is what is holding me back, the long time I doubted myself is undermining me now.

You know the truth now. You're still filling in the details, but you may be confident in the big picture. They don't know what they profess to know, it is just feelings based on lies.

It took a solid year to get over the initial shock. I have been out for over three years and will never really get over it.

If going back to your family makes you feel sick, it might be best to go to school or get a job in a state accross the country from your family. You don't have to reject or hate them. Just enjoy each other from a distance.

Good news is now that you know, you're on your way. Be patient with yourself and others around because this is some pretty heavy shiz.

I have been on a 2 steps forward one back trajectory for years. I no longer attend, pay tithing or believe but every now and them I still deal with guilt and "what ifs." Difference is now I'm content to not know everything and I am free to research any time I have a question.

My case if different than some others though because I am married to a TBM and have kids. This complicates everything. I assume you aren't married to a believer....be grateful that you aren't.

Things will get better with time but there will likely be relapses. It's all part of the process of learning to think/decide for yourself.

Welcome, best of luck and in the words of Devo, remember "It's a beautiful world we live in....."

I was a jack mormon for many years and felt excess guilt as well. When I read the anti stuff like you...three years ago when I was 22...just graduated from BYU-I. I was in total shock for about a week and barely slept. I went inactive for a year and a half before I got the courage to openly come out...people had their suspicions though when I finally told them...telling people was probably the hardest part.

Before that I didn't want to know the anti stuff because I was so brainwashed and that's all I knew. I am in the norm and so are you. After reading on here for the past couple, I can see this now. I know many that are still in denial-- Jack Mormon status. I had lunch with one today. I told him he is an oxymoron. He was telling me stories and I was like okay....go see your bishy. or I think that calls for a bishop interview.

I spent months researching and could recite the kinderhook bs story, book of Abraham scam, Mark Hofmann-fools gold sinker, Meadows Mountain Massacre-The mastermind Brigham Young, Joseph Smith taking the Masonic rituals and all those shocking truths!

I got into battles with two of my siblings and there were many tears shed. The church has ruined some relationships and I really don't hang out with any Mormons. It's a hard process to go through and it helps me a lot to write on here and get it all out of my head. It can always be worse...what if we grew up in the FLDS church. I am watching some of them on Anderson Cooper as I write this....ssoooooo creepy!

Advice that I can give to you from personal experiences is to try and just be authentic and try not offend them..but I have made it known that I am a non-believing ex-Mormon...not just in-active and that they should stop praying for me cause I am never coming back. Pray that I will find happiness and ways to help humanity-that's all I ask.

Someone wrote me on fbook telling me that she is praying for me. I wanted to vomit cause so many think I just couldn't quite live up to their standards. I clearly don't want to. I told my aunt that I make a lot of mistakes and to expect them because that's how I learn.

Just know your facts and be prepared. Most Mormons don't know jack about their own religion. like what is 3 nephi about? lol. Take care, and at first I spent months and months reading. I don't so much anymore. I just get on here.

Mormonism messed with your mind. It deprived you of your ability to think rationally about religion.

Out in the real (non-Mormon) world there are mental health counselors and psychiatrists who have years of professional training in how to help people who have mind problems.

Reading books and coming to this BB will give you some help in dealing with Mormon Church related issues, but a do-it-yourself approach can require many years of self-help work.

A professional counselor can guide you through recovery in a time period measured in months, rather than years. I am guessing that the right counselor can help you get over Mormon church and Mormon family issues in three to six months.

In many locations mental health counseling is available from the city or county where you live, and they charge fees based on a sliding scale that is determined by your ability to pay. It is not uncommon for a person with very little money to get the counseling free of charge.

I strongly urge you to look into this.

I am quite a bit (eons) older than you. I wish I would have known what you know at your age. It would have changed my life for the better. It is wonderful to make a life decision, and not feel the need to starve myself, plead with god, confer with my bishop (who has no idea either)and go down a list of mormon rules to decide if something is going to work for me. Very freeing.

I was furious when I found out I have been lied to,manipulated, and put down all my life in the name of mormonism. I am not, and have never been the person mormons perceive me to be.

My first big fault (according to them) is I'm an artist. I can't help it. If I'm not creating something I start to get depressed and feel a little crazy. Not acceptable. Especially if I am creating images that don't fit their righteous paradigm. Being a mormon under their rules just about drove me crazy.I have an autoimmune disease that I think was brought on by not being allowed to be who I am.

I left the church in June 2011. Since then, I am either reading, or painting. I can't seem to get enough of either. I feel freer than I have ever felt in my life.

I still have moments when I feel angry. But most of the time I am glad I got the hell out of there! It has been like someone died. The process of grieving has been similar for me. Anger, denial,acceptance, a little relapse, joy, anger etc. etc. Nothing is set in stone. Learn all you can. Don't anesthetize yourself. You need a clear mind to work through all of this. People have been twisting your thinking for years,it takes some time to untwist.

Read, read, read, until you are full. You will find a confidence and serenity you didn't know you had. Finally you will get to meet yourself. Build yourself into someone you really like and are proud of. I'm done lecturing now :)

So happy for you. Hang on you are in for a ride. This is a great web site to educate AND support you. A lot of people with some great experience and wisdom to help you through

I was born and raised in this CULT and when I found out the whole thing was a lie and how awful Joseph Smith and Brigham Young were, I would jump out of my chair, pace the floor in anger, and sit back down, read a little more, and jump up again.

Boom! There went much of my identity. I am ashamed of the times I would look over non-mormon friends with such a smug arrogance that I had THE TRUTH. Well, the truth was that they good-naturedly accepted me as I was, crazy beliefs and all.

It took me years to put much of the anger behind me, and now my attitude is live and let live. I don't discuss politics and religion much with my TBM relatives, just focus on the things we agree about.

You really can not "force" another person to acknowledge a difficult truth. "A man persuaded against his will is of the same opinion still."

Just take care of yourself. If you are just beginning to find out unpleasant facts about TSSC ("The So-Called Church") brace yourself, these lying weasels have been at it for 100+ years and the manure is deep.

A lot of guilt comes from disappointing parents and loved ones. We are tied to our parents and they have spent much of their lives being our comfort and our North. It's quite a deep bond that isn't fully realized but for the passage of time. My parents aren't Mormon. I disappointed my dad greatly when I joined and it caused him much sorrow and concern. My mom passed before I became Mormon. It is my husbands family and my husband and daughter who are Mormon.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 12/14/2011 09:43PM by suckafoo.

I totally believe in the power of this statement:
Want to change your world? Change your thinking.

It's about taking your power back and owning it; use your new found empowerment to find the joy and laughter and freedom in your own life.

It's OK to change your mind. :-)

I can relate to so much that's been said on this thread. A few weeks ago, I decided that I couldn't take any more of the insidious lies perpetuated by TSSC. I was born & raised in the church but never really believed in JS and the BoM. Years ago I read about Joseph Smith's polygamy, the Mountain Meadow Massacre, and always felt creepy doing the temple rituals. I kept trying to tell myself that the modern church is good even if it was built on a rotten foundation. Not anymore. I went through a stage where I was angry and outraged at the betrayal, greed, and deception of the modern church organization and leadership. I couldn't sleep. I spent hours on the computer researching. I didn't like feeling all stirred up, but I knew it had to be if I was going to take charge of my life and escape from the cult. I slacked off on the research a bit and felt a little more at peace, but it's not going to last because I'm still "faking it" with my church activity.

My problem is my husband is a TBM who never questions what he is told by TSSC. Oh, he has his share of frustrations with the bishop, ward leaders, and other members. They really bug him and he is slow to forgive and forget their trespasses against him. I just figure...people are people - some are more annoying than others. I have a problem with the organization itself. I took some hope in thinking I would sway him to see that the problem is actually the Morg not individuals. It's not working. I'm afraid he'd make my life a "living hell" as only a TBM can do if he knew I didn't believe. So the best I can do is act like the ward members bug the heck out of me like they do him. He has gone inactive before because he got offended by church leaders. My parents are true believers but they have open minds. I often share bits of my research with them. No problem with my adult children. They've all left the church behind and want nothing to do with it. They know how I feel and are supportive.

Any tips on dealing with a TBM spouse who always asks "how high?" when he is told to jump by the church? I have books by church members that admit that JS and the church's past was not all that glorious and righteous, but the only books he reads are sci-fi.

I found out the church is not true about two months ago. I resigned as Relief Society president. It has been hard, but today I wrote this letter to myself, because even though I know I will still have ups and downs, I truly have experienced my "Best Day So Far." Here is some of it: Several times throughout this day, I felt so intensely happy that I felt tears coming to my eyes.
One occurred while I was picking up my daughter from school. I stood by the door and watched the other mothers and fathers walk in. I was filled with a feeling of affection for them, a feeling that this is how life is meant to feel, that this is how I want to feel about the people around me. I used to look at other people and try to guess by their clothing, expressions, etc. if they were Mormon or not, and dismiss them if they weren’t. That is gone. I feel connected to this world and the people in it more than I ever have before.
Another time, I was simply standing in the kitchen, looking at my husband working on his computer while the children ran around in the other room. I am more honest with my husband than before and he with me, because all of the sudden, none of our thoughts and feelings are bad, they are simply human thoughts and feelings.
Be patient with yourself. You will feel the sunshine soon. Be patient with your family. Remember the good things they have done for you.

I made my discovery in March of this year. What a year it has been. I am still having nightmares that I am going to hell or whatever. This bulletin board helps me a lot and all of the research that has been done before our discovery. I am greatful for those ppl as they are true heros of humanity.

Ocassionally, I like to look at apoligist explanations and movies that point out gross lies to support the church and it makes me laugh. When I discovered the fraud, I felt exactly like you do now. I still have some of those feelings and I am not sure how long it will last.

However, I am glad its over cuz I can't stand the lies. How F__king dare they take 2 years of my life, my money, my time, my sanity and tell me I am just a sinner that needs to try harder! Moreover, most of my family is still enslaved to the Morg and they fight with me about it. They are all degreed and intelligent, yet they can't see past their noses. Sometimes I wonder if its pride? They can't admit they made fools of themselves preaching this garbage.

I really like everyone who posts on here cuz they all have something great to add to the recovery process that helps me in so many wonderful ways. Thank you faithful posters of RFM!

One thought that is driving me nuts though, are we determined or do we have free will? Maybe I will post a new thread on this one.

The shock does not have to last very long.

Enjoy your freedom and be grateful that you found out what a crock it all is.

Like you, it only took a few days to read enough that I felt sure the church was false...but it took a year until it was all worn out I was never finding anything new about it.

It can take some time to get over the emotional baggage, which never goes away entirely. This varies with individuals depending on personality type, upbringing, devotion to Mormonism etc.

I've been out over 4 years. Personally, I've discovered that as I move on with life I've developed stronger personal philosophical approaches to life and friendships that aren't tainted by Mormonism. I've rediscovered old hobbies and work on discovering new ones. The foundations for a new life can take awhile to put together. But once that starts to take over, the constant pranging in the brain about all things Mormon fades to the background.

The shock - the initial *shock* lasted a few weeks.

That, my friend, is the easy part over.

It's the fallout that will get you, and depending on your family situation, that could last from months all the way to a lifetime.