First of all, let me state he is almost certainly not going to talk. It's outrageous they even asked him since he hasn't attended on a Sunday in almost a year. But one of our friend's from the ward had their basement flooded and they asked the scouts to come out and help as a service project. Since in my son's mind this actually constitutes service, unlike the service projects to clean the church, he decided to go. Plus, he likes this friend and honestly wanted to help.

So today one of the minions in the bishopric called and left a message with my DH that they'd like my son to talk about giving service and how good that made him feel. When I discussed it with my son, we talked about how we don't give service to feel good about ourselves, we give it because there is a need. Or because there is an injustice we want to see righted. We also don't do it because it's assigned but because we want to help from the heart. We talked about real service v. what the church thinks is service (bathroom duty - reactivating escapees etc.). Son thought he might like to talk about these things just to see peoples' reaction but when it came down to it, he just didn't want to give a talk. So I asked him "Why are you even considering it then?" and he answered "Because I'm scared to say no - no one ever say no to them." Then we discussed how he felt about being part of a church that ran things like that and how he would be manipulated his whole life if he decided to be a Mormon. We also talked about how giving a talk would just encourage the manipulators to up their efforts because they would think he's agreeable to being scooped back up by their collective Morgness.

I'm almost certain he is going to say no however, it got me thinking. If he did decide to talk about service to Mormons, what do you think he should tell them? What would Mormons need to learn about service?

they are trying to take advantage of him. I guess he can talk on how fanny alger served in the smith home!! what an example she was!!

I absolutely agree that Mormons have a f***ed up notion of what constitutes services. That said, I don't totally agree with your contention that "we don't do service to feel good about ourselves." Certainly we don't do service only to feel good about ourselves, but I think it is a perfectly fair and valid reason to do so. I feel good about myself when I make the world a better place, and that is a good thing.

If he wants to take this opportunity to speak about the merits of real service, I think it would be great for him to talk about some of the very real and important work that needs to be done in the world. From what you said, though, it sounds like your son will benefit more at this point in his life by learning to say, "no" to people who would take advantage of his good nature.

Nothing to add to what Pista and others have said EXCEPT

The boy said he was afraid to say no because no one ever says no to "these people." What a great lesson for your son, CAgirl, to learn that what everyone else does is not the guide free humans use to decide what to do.

You go girl!

Anagrammy

That sentence would be better with the word "only" in it. As in, you do feel good helping others but you shouldn't do it only because you want to feel good but because you honestly want others to feel good first. Good point!

CA girl, I faced a very similar situation when my teenage son was 'asked' to give a talk on "sacrifice", which basically equates to the same thing when it comes to the kind of 'service' the cult requires of its members.
I personally worked with my son on his talk, and shared examples with him of the sacrifices made by his long dead grandfather, my dad, whom he never knew.
It had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO with cult callings, cult temple worship, cult meetings.......nothing to do with the Mormon cult whatsoever.
Yet the choices my late father made during his lifetime of hardship and service to his country in the navy during WW2 were some of the most inspiring and compelling my young son had heard......certainly not like the endless pablum and mind-numbing propaganda spoon-fed to the youth......no wonder they leave in droves.

That talk my son gave was one of the best ever given by a youth speaker (according to feedback I got from others who were there). People crowded around him afterwards, genuinely moved, as they would never had done had they been subjected to another 5 minutes of GA bilge.

It's your son's choice, CA girl, and believe me, I am totally down with not giving a talk at all, especially given the fact that most of them are given under duress, without choice or say in the matter.
But if he does decide to go for it, are there any NON-Mormon examples of service, especially in your family, or perhaps someone famous and/or inspiring that your son admires, that might make it personal and meaningful not only for your son, but those listening to him? My son did include one quote by a GA at the end, which was fine because it went along with his talk and wasn't mormon-specific.......the rest was honesty, integrity, and an example of what REAL sacrifice means: for one's country, for one's family.......and for one's future.

There are all kinds of examples and opportunities for real, meaningful service in the world around us. Lots of community organizations and causes; it could be a great sharing experience for both son and congregation, especially during the holiday season.

On the other hand, if your bishop is an asshat, an indedependent talk like that will likely ensure your son isn't asked to speak again ;)
Either way, hope all goes well!

Well if he is truly thinking about it, have him talk from his heart as to why he wanted to help out a friend. Also get quotes from the BIBLE about service, charity, and GRACE and keep the mormon aspect out of it..

Your son has a good head on his shoulders.

He could talk for five minutes about Mother Teresa and other 'worldly' individuals who help others. Or how about the people of Japan helping each other after the tsunami (even though most of them are not christian).

That is amazing; outside of Canadians, I did not know that many people were fans of Robert SERVICE.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_W._Service

I am misting over at the recognition of this great Canadian hero.

I guess in you son's shoes, I would go up front, read "The Cremation of Sam McGee"

http://www.potw.org/archive/potw22.html

and close "In the name of Doug and Bob MacKenzie Amen"

The spirit of Lazarus will move everyone, and there will not be a dry eye in the place.

I will bet that the spiritual manifestation will be soooo strong, that he never gets asked to speak again!