I was in the drivers seat. From now on, I made the decisions about what to do with my time, who to spend it with, which books to read, what foods to eat and drink, what movies to see, and on and on with no fear of repercussions, or disappointing some ecclesiastical figure who would chastise me.

I repeated as often as necessary:
I am a free adult. I don't report anything to anyone. I can respect and honor other people's wishes as needed as a courtesy.

I own my choices to how I respond to others. No one can offend me unless I "take" offense, for instance.

I determine what is about me, and what is about someone else.

I will learn not to take anything personally, even if it is about me.

I do not have the power to change someone else, or their beliefs.

It's an invasion of other people's rights to assume I have the right to tell someone else what is right or wrong about their religious beliefs. Or that they must change their religious views to suit me. Doesn't work that way. I tried! :-)

There is no need for me to make sure someone else "sees the light" and thinks like I do. We don't all have to agree. We can have different opinions that are valuable.

Being assertive required that I was clear minded, confident, and know I was on solid ground. I could be assertive in many other areas of my life, but Mormonism was like fighting city hall. It was all powerful, I was outnumbered. I was out gunned. Initially, I even had a quiver in my lips when I spoke against Joseph Smith! I had been a good student of Mormonism, and not speaking evil of the Lord's anointed! That sure stopped in a hurry!

Taking my power back means I learn to accept other people AS IS -- and show unconditional love. It's not easy, but it has a big pay off when I let go of trying to fix other people. This is a biggie for me, because I got the FIX-IT personality! :-) Just ask my family! :-)

It meant that I could no longer be bamboozled or manipulated by the emotional ploys of Mormons, or anyone else.
This also applied to the work environment. (Saw some of the same outrageous behavior there as I did with church members. Gosh, people are the same everywhere!)

Once I stopped giving the Mormons permission to manipulate me emotionally with their threats, and attempts to control me, a whole new exuberance overtook me! Just the idea that I was OK the way I was took a bit of getting used to. But, I knew I was never, ever going back to that closed box of black and white, right and wrong, righteous, unrighteous thinking in Mormonism. I had snuck out through a crack, and they could not drag me back in! Ever!

Taking my power back has been a long process. After all, I had 30 plus years of trying to make me fit into the box of Mormon commandments and rules, traditions/rituals; wearing the dress that didn't fit, including the regulation 24/7 undies!! I had no idea, initially, now cramped I was in the little tiny box, and that there was a whole world outside Mormonism that was filled with authentic joy and inner peace! Hello World. Here I come!

Now I can't imagine what I was thinking at the time. I understand how it all came about, it was a natural progression from my naive childhood religious training to being supportive of my mother and our little family joining Mormonism - with no clue what we were getting into. Why would we think it was anything other than just another Christian Church - which was highly prized with our heritage of Christian ministers.

Now, that life, is a distant memory -- with only the fun, good stuff rising to the top like cream on fresh milk!