So. Grew up thinking I was straight, only dated guys. Had plenty of huge crushes on guys, thinking I was in love with them, etc., etc...but then whenever it would get sexual, I'd get uncomfortable. Sure, I loved making out, feeling close, having guys do stuff to me (but never oral), but never got off. When I started actually having sex, I only had one partner that actually satisfied me (still no orgasms), and I attributed it to his being older, etc. Every other time was painful and awkward. And I always ended up being with guys like this: (should be self-explanatory)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gFG7S-IgmQ

I was Mormon for a little while and considered myself bisexual in college without having any experience with girls at all. Then I had a few flings with women after a breakup and had my first orgasms with a partner ever. Now I'm in a relationship with a girl. Haven't had sex with a man in almost 2 years, and haven't hooked up with one at all in 9 months or so. I definitely look at guys, but it's sort of just a quick surge of hormones/passing attraction that I forget easily, and I pretty much never fantasize about them...ever. And I look at girls a lot more. I feel a lot more comfortable and like I can be myself with women...But I feel like I just can't do it. I'm worried that I just feel this way because I've had so much trouble with guys. Every time I see a straight couple, my immediate thought is "I'm not good enough for that" or "I'm not pretty enough to have a guy," or "I'll never have a picture perfect wedding/baby/husband/etc." So does that make me "straight?" Or just in denial?

I should mention also that the potential effects on my career bother me a lot, and I constantly worry that if I ever did want to date a guy again, he wouldn't date me because of my past with women. But when I think about dating guys, I just get exhausted. I think guys SOUND awesome and look good, but I generally can't relate to them and don't feel a connection other than maybe some sexual attraction (maybe). But what good is sexual attraction if, when I get in bed with them, I generally hate it?!

My advice is to go with what works and not worry about if it is "gay", "Straight", "Bi" or something else.

The idea that homosexual marriages are not as good as heterosexual marriage, or that you are not pretty enough for a guy or that there is a picture perfect family are ALL MYTHS. My advice is to do what you can to let go of judging yourself against mythology.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/01/2012 10:41PM by MJ.

+1.

You have had bad experiences. To untangle the impacts those had on you from the real, 'core' you, I agree with MJ. Therapy would be very useful.

Sounds to me like you are not really done with guys. We live in an age where guys understand bisexuality in women more than before. If you are still interested in being with a man, then I'm sure there is someone who will understand you for who you are and what you want.

Women tend to be more flexible with their sexuality then men in general. This doesn't mean you are really straight, with some gay feelings. It could, but it could also mean the reverse. Try talking to a therapist and coming to terms.

You sound like a lesbian in a lot of denial.

Probably bi. But previous posters are right, women's sexuality is more fluid.

I agree with MJ, you might want to discuss this with a therapist. My one concern is that you said that sex with men was painful for you. It shouldn't be. That particular issue you might want to discuss with an M.D.

Hetero guys who are on the socially liberal side (there are a lot of them) generally wouldn't care that you have slept with women.

yah just put LDS INC & their blood sucking demons in the drivers seat for any aspect of your life, especially morality, and you will end up so FUBAR


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYsi-r1amY0

I wouldn't let anybody tell you what they think you are, especially after only a few words on the internet. MAYBE you are just you and you are like no one else. Why does everybody have to be put in a category? Why put yourself in a category? Don't worry about what sex you are attracted to. Be safe and allow yourself some exploration. If you are attracted to a guy, he's good to you, why not try it out? No commitment. Maybe the guys you've been with have been bad at sex. Only a few guys would care that you've been with a woman. Why would you have to tell them until a much deeper relationship was established? Same with a woman. If you can be safe while doing it, explore a little.

I was watching a documentary about Pompeii in ancient Rome. I guess the Romans had much less inhibition than we do and just called sex, sex. They didn't have separate designations for same sex or opposite sex interactions. Sounds like a good idea to me.

Follow the true love, that's all you can do, whatever the plumbing.

I'm only confused about my sexuality when I've had too much to drunk. haha. u. i. u.

When I think about sex with guys it's always in the context of children and sex for procreation, home, family, stereotypical suburban life, etc.

Sex with women is an emotional bonding experience about pleasure, desire, companionship, etc.

Sex with machines is just about pleasure.