Another thread about testimony cryers made me think of this. After two years of emotionally manipulating people with what I thought I knew I was pretty much burned out on testimony-bearing by the end.

On our last day before our flights home and we were all hanging out in the mission home (mansion) and President Packer said it was time for us all to bear our testimonies..

I was disgusted. As it happened I was the last one in the rotations. Maybe it was coincidence. Maybe I had a reputation. I don't know.

The point is, I declined to bear my testimony. I said it seems like everybody here has a testimony so there's no one who the spirit needs to witness to so there was no need.

The president gave me some mumbo-jumbo about how bearing your testimony if for your own benefit, as well.

I said I was fine and they moved on. Nobody mentioned it the rest of the day or the next. I never bore my testimony again.

I guess that means I can't really remember the last time I bore my testimony.

By not bearing your testimoney Satan got hold of you and forced you to come here to the dark side.

Great story. I love the moments when someone's real honest self begins to reclaim it's territory. I will never forget that moment for me, although it wasn't a testimony moment.

I don't remember my last testimony. After my mission I was a speaker in demand in our stake and even others. I always closed with a testimony as you do.

What I do remember is I had it honed. I had a practiced look in my eye. I had made it my own, skipped a lot of the phrases others used, not because I had a testimony, but because that was who I was--I was out to win the game.

Whenever it was, that was the last time I was a lying phony.

never gave mine either ...

held out til the last when I was called on...

said something like "I got nuthin"

I never once did the testimony deal. I always refused and left the church at an early enough age to get away with it.

I remember my last one quite clearly. After years of being on the fence not quite able to believe, then a reconversion, then finally deciding 3 years ago it couldn't possibly be true, then being forced into being EQP for 2 years because they brought my wife in and I couldn't refuse without exposing not believing, I "came out of the closest" to my wife this past July.

A couple weeks letter - late July - I sent a brief - I don't believe this crap and haven't for a long time email to the bishop and a member of the stake presidency who is a friend and was involved in my reconversion a few years ago. The bishop called me in and was quite hostile, maybe borderline abusive. The stake presidency called me in and was the opposite in a huge love fest - total good cop / bad cop.

Then a few weeks later the member of the stake presidency comes into Elder's Quorum to release me and gushes for 5-10 minutes about how I was the best Elder's Quorum president he's ever seen (knowing full well I accepted the calling as an atheist) - it was weird - not sure why all those supposedly true believing EQPs do such a half ass job that I did a better job not even believing it - of course all I did was go on social visits - I never talked religion - rarely even asked to have a prayer. My management experience made it easy to motivate people to do their home teaching - we went from 60% to 90% so maybe that is why they thought I was so great. (Funny how the usual idea that if their testimonies were just strong they would home teach doesn't work nearly as well as basic management techniques.)

Stake Presidency dude leaves and the new Elder's Quorum first counselor was teaching the lesson and "feels the spirit" and invites me and the new EQP to bear our testimonies. Crap. Not what I wanted. So I get up and talk about how I've never liked to be the one up in front and never wanted the attention but that I appreciated the opportunity it gave me to be closer friends with them and appreciated their friendships. It was awkward. Finally I broke down and recited the standard 5 point testimony with no feeling and sat down. Then the new EQP stands up and says he's been in young men's for years and that their were only two callings in the church he didn't want/was intimated by - gospel doctrine teacher which he had done for the previous 6 months and EQP. I hope it was as awkward for everyone else as it was for me.