My grown children are planning a family reunion of just our family. Because one of them has a timeshare someplace, the reunion is being planned for hundreds of miles away. I guess they plan to have a bedroom inside one of the condos available for me to stay in which is fine.

Here's the tricky part. I live with my never-mo fiance who doesn't understand the idea of travelling that far just to get together when most of us live in UT. We'll be flying there.

Also, my ex husband will be there.He and I are both out of the church. He's gay (but AFAIK, he won't be bringing anyone). The kids are all TBM. He and I get along ok, but I know it will be awkward. The kids can't say two sentences without church topics coming up. It's very annoying, and well, boring.

I want to see all my kids and grandkids of course because some of them live in other parts of the country. We have lots of history as a family. My fiance is going to really feel like the odd man out and he has social anxiety and is shy. I love him and I love my kids.

I need some input. The easy answer would be to go alone.

My mother in law is an absolute control freak and every family reunion she has put together has ended up a complete disaster. Nobody can do what they want, but rather we all have to do what "Mother" thinks we want to do.

I finally had enough and for the last one I said forget it. Because my wife really wanted to go I compromised and showed up for one day of the four. My wife was there for the whole thing and wished she had followed my lead.

What would happen if you opted out?

but I don't like spending time with my boyfriend's kids and there is no love lost between his daughter and I--as he says, she is a JAP--a Jewish American Princess and doesn't like anyone vying for her dad's attention WHEN SHE IS AROUND--which isn't very often. Me--I haven't liked her since day one--but she had the audacity to say to her dad, "I don't want any woman coming into my life and thinking she can be my friend." When he told me, I burst out laughing. I just dont' want to spend any time with his kids.

He really likes my kids. They think he is so so--

Since my kids aren't married--we still spend Christmas with their dad.

When I talked to my exmo therapist about this--he said that he sees this a lot in divorces and in deaths. He has a patient who is remarried after her husband died in his 60s. Her kids can't stand her new husband. He says she has told them that she needs to just visit her kids by herself and have their lives "separate"--

It works for my boyfriend and I. My boyfriend and my ex even stayed here at our house (where my ex lives all of the time now and I live part of the time) for a few days over the Christmas holidays (not Christmas though--after all my boyfriend is Jewish--but I todl him he couldn't be here).

Anyway--I'd let your boyfriend decide if he wants to go or not. If it would be too uncomfortable for him--let him stay home. (P.S. Are your children going to be upset if you and your boyfriend stay in your room togehter? Just wondering . . . )

I have thought of that...opting out or showing up for one day.

I've also thought about meeting with everyone as they pass through UT.

Blended families with mormons/apostates/agnostics/and ex-spouses make for dilemmas.

Don't worry about it for now, stay home......if TSCC gets their way and nobody stops them soon, every one of you will be sealed together after you die anyway.......

check this out - it is from another poster, but applies in your situation too....
http://www.aboutpolygamy.com/episodes/2010/ep335.htm