I've heard quite a few people say that in other posts. I'm beginning to wonder if that may be one of the catalysts for leaving the church, while the rest of family stays in.
Majorly. I get along with all my siblings and everything but I am definitely the odd one out...always have been. I just have a completely different way of looking at life and coping with things...I don't really think it had anything to do with me leaving the church because I was the only one who didn't actually join the church at age 8, and my brothers and sisters are all inactive anyway, but I definitely think you're onto something with that theory Mia!
I have always been the different one. I had little in common with my siblings. I was always more interested in academics, reading, art, history etc and, other than my mother to some extent, none of them cared much about that stuff.I don't feel like a black sheep, but my siblings and I have little in common and beyond superficial stuff, little to talk about.We get along fairly well, and two of the three are inactive but there is little in common.
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In fact, I stopped going to family gatherings because I would listen to the conversation (gossip, celebrity gossip, neighborhood gossip, parish gossip) followed by food/drinking/drunk accusation time and I wondered what planet these people came from.
I thought my sister was more like me but then she deviated into a uni-sex Star Trek theme in which I was the Klingon.
There are new studies out on hereditary factors influencing personality. Guess we just happened to get the "other" bouquet of DNA. I'm grateful to be how I am and I'll bet you are too!
Anagrammy
PS. My family actually called me "black sheep" jokingly...or not?
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/08/2012 05:04PM by anagrammy.
decision not to take my parents' religion seriously. I shudder to think what my life would have been like if I had stayed the same sweet little child they tried to make me into.
Yes. But not all of us can be pinned down to any one reason for leaving, just like the church-propagated reasons why we leave don't hold true either. Some of us did leave to "sin". ;) I left because it always made me feel yucky and I never felt good, blessed, or improved by it. For me, an INTJ, this is a surprisingly "feely" reason.
I was called that because I literally had darker skin than the rest of them. I was the only in my family one who questioned why when something didn't make sense, pushed the boundaries and plain out rebelled against things I didn't like. Now I wear my difference as a badge of honor and revel in my uniqueness. I have an interesting life with many adventures that they cannot comprehend or even want to experience. I feel sad for them that they think it is so great to be the white sheep!!
Similar to PapaKen, I was a golden child - that is until I resigned. Now I am the pink sheep of the family. Even have a shirt stating this.
Knowing they consider me the black sheep, I purchased and wore a black sheep t-shirt to a family reunion last year. At that time I didn't dare wear my pink sheep shirt.
I am definately different to the rest of my family, and always have been, and have also felt so.
I have a higher IQ than them; I was the most rebellious at school; I have very different - polar opposite infact - political beliefs to them. Oh, and I have never had a testimony of TSCC.
I got sent home off my mission, I have never had a proper calling, I have never given a talk in sacrament since I was a deacon. I dropped out of college - twice. I could never figure out what I wanted to do with my life. But I am the most financially successful, as things stand.
I am an INTJ personality type, and I guarantee none of them are. They are mostly ExFx.
Right up to the end, my parents told me that I was the one they never worried about leaving the LDS church as I was their most religious child.
I had 3 siblings leave the church in their teens. My older sister had a rebellious period. My other sibling is disabled.
Most of my siblings and nieces and nephews wondered why it took me so long. Once they knew I didn't believe, they felt I had given them license to accept that they didn't believe either. Before that, they always considered themselves failures.
My whole family is currently TBM, but I was the truly golden child in middle and high school. I got the best grades, was the only one of my siblings to go on a mission (neither my older nor younger brothers went, yet are still TBM). My patriarchal blessing (as my mother interprets it) talks about me being a high leader in the church. I still think it talks about camping.
But yes, golden child until I came home early from my mission. It was only a matter of time after that horrible experience.
I'm beginning to see a pattern here. It's not only marching to a different drummer, but having the courage to pick up the drum and make our own music, AND parade it around town! Not the kind of people cults are looking for.
I was... but I was not raised Mormon. I'm a lot younger than my sisters are... a Vietnam surprise, if you will. I'm shorter, fatter, and a lot more raucous than they are.
My whole family are a bunch of characters, so it's hard to say if I was the "normal" one or the "different" one.
However, all of us were treated like the black sheep/lost sheep of the ward. And we all lived up to that reputation in the end and left LDS, Inc. for greener pastures.
We had a good and close family. Each of us were heading in a different way. My oldest sister was TBM,,BYU,,temple marriage the whole trip. The other sister was gay,,knew it,,left town the day she graduated high school. Very seldom returned. I left soon after graduation and never really went back much. We kept in some contact but nothing close. Now all retired.
Out of 7 kids, I thought I was "the" black sheep in the family. But as time goes by, more of my brothers and sisters have let their "blackness" show through. Only 2 of my sisters still attend church and only one of them can be called a real TBM.
I was the only person in my entire family for generations to graduate from college. I got nothing but grief from my mom and the rest of them. They thought I was crazy.